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Forum -> Judaism -> Halachic Questions and Discussions
Don't wanna give up my mitzva of challa
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cookiewriter




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Apr 20 2017, 9:09 pm
My daughter just turned 12 and helps me a lot in kitchen. She wants to be mafrish the challa make the Bracha... and everything but.. I don't wanna lose my zechus! Do I still get zechus if she does everything? Can I make a Bracha if she also does?
Not trying to be selfish but I've been doing this mitzva for 13 years bh. Don't wanna forsake it
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dina125




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Apr 20 2017, 9:11 pm
How about you each take a turn (so each of you would have a chance every second week) & make sure to say amen to each other's brachos?

Last edited by dina125 on Thu, Apr 20 2017, 9:15 pm; edited 1 time in total
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yksraya




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Apr 20 2017, 9:13 pm
Maybe bake challah twice one wk, like before a yt or simcha when you need more challah. She is mafrish one of the 2 times.

When DD turned 12, I made a challag dough, she was mafrish, and we braided it togather. But I don't bake challah lately, so it's not like I gave away my mitzva or what, we baked it only for her to be able to be mafrish on her b-day.
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Apr 20 2017, 9:26 pm
My mother-in-law always asks me or whomever is in her house to say the bracha with her and take dough together and share the mitzvah.
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Thu, Apr 20 2017, 10:21 pm
If you are not in financial hardship, maybe consider both making challah and giving some to a neighbor (or two) who does not bake.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 21 2017, 3:17 am
That's interesting, I wouldn't mind my daughters doing it, but again I mostly buy. That said I'm very possessive over lighting candles, and like that they'll have to wait for marriage to light. I'd say, do it and she does without bracha? Or do it both together?
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 21 2017, 9:22 am
Think of it as chinuch. When you make and take challah, do you daven for anyone? Do you take part in a group? Let your daughter experience this too. And if you take challah, share the name and need and let her daven even if she doesn't participate in the challah baking.
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doctorima




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 21 2017, 9:42 am
Whatever you do, don't both of you make a bracha, since the second bracha will be a bracha l'vatala (you can't make 2 brachos on the same mitzvah), and will certainly not be a zechus.
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gamanit




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 21 2017, 9:45 am
Maybe have a rule that whoever says the bracha does the cleanup Smile
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 21 2017, 10:01 am
I wish every thread on imamother was this thread
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 21 2017, 6:56 pm
ra_mom wrote:
My mother-in-law always asks me or whomever is in her house to say the bracha with her and take dough together and share the mitzvah.


I do the same when baking challah at my mama's house - so she gets a share in the mitzvah & prayers
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Apr 22 2017, 6:16 pm
I think it's beautiful that your daughter wants to do this. I don't think I would mind giving up my mitzva for my daughter, although I might not want to do this regularly for a friend. After a few weeks maybe suggest to your daughter that if she wants to get the mitzva, she should help you with the actual making of the challah, or cleanup.
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Liba




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Apr 22 2017, 6:39 pm
I learned that it is my house, my mitzvah, as long as I am there to do it.

BUT for my daughter's bas mitzvos we make dough for them to be mehafrish. It is a special time and it is one of the ways we celebrate their new status. Heart
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Apr 22 2017, 7:14 pm
OP, I would give anything to have your problem.

B'H, you have a daughter who wants to do a mitzva, and you get the mitzva of raising a lovely daughter who loves mitzvot! What could possibly be better than that?
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rydys




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Apr 27 2017, 8:45 pm
I did not give this over to my girls. When they first become Bas Mitzva I let them do it once. After that I explain to them that every mitzvah has its time and place. Now this is my home so I am mafrish challa. There will beezras Hashem come a time when they will have their own homes and that will be their time to do this mitzvah.
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Apr 27 2017, 8:51 pm
Liba wrote:
I learned that it is my house, my mitzvah, as long as I am there to do it.

BUT for my daughter's bas mitzvos we make dough for them to be mehafrish. It is a special time and it is one of the ways we celebrate their new status. Heart


Iy'H, ad meah v'esrim!
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amother
Chartreuse


 

Post Thu, Apr 27 2017, 9:02 pm
Ruchel wrote:
That's interesting, I wouldn't mind my daughters doing it, but again I mostly buy. That said I'm very possessive over lighting candles, and like that they'll have to wait for marriage to light. I'd say, do it and she does without bracha? Or do it both together?


this is so interesting to me bc I am lubavitch and we light from age 3
dont mean to hijack thread
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cm




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Apr 27 2017, 9:35 pm
Is there an actual scorecard? Do you not also get points for raising a daughter who is enthusiastic about mitzvot? Seems to me you are not losing anything by encouraging your daughter to participate in challah, and I am sure - to the extent that mere humans can be sure of anything about Hashem's ways - that her taking challah reflects very well on you. How about taking turns?
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 28 2017, 7:01 am
amother wrote:
this is so interesting to me bc I am lubavitch and we light from age 3
dont mean to hijack thread


I never saw girls lighting pre-marriage. It's my privilege.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 28 2017, 7:09 am
Ruchel wrote:
I never saw girls lighting pre-marriage. It's my privilege.


I'm amazed you never heard of this. It's standard Lubavitch operating procedure for girls to light one candle at age 3 and up. Upon marriage they light two, and then one more for each child.
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