No end in sight | Imamother

amother

Sapphire

Sun, Apr 23 2017, 2:52 pm

There is never an end to my financial problems.
My dh is a super nice guy but just doesn't make a parnasah
We are married for over 30 years and I cannot even count how many jobs he's had. It is humiliating, shameful, dibilitating and I cannot share my pain with anyone. I don't have money for a therapist.
I have lost hope that my life will ever
Be 'normal'. By normal I mean being able to buy necessities. Pay for therapy. Go to the dentist.
We have no insurance (live in Canada) so none of that is covered.

Just found out that my best friend I've known all my life passed away. I don't have any money to go be menachem avel her family.

My belief and hope in husband and/or g-d, is non existent anymore.

Tell me please, why should I believe???????????

amother

Slategray

Sun, Apr 23 2017, 3:16 pm

Ouch. Such pain.
We all pray veloi lidei nisoyon. Soneone who hasn't tasted nisoyon huoini will never understand. The pain is so deep, it can cause one to come to a conclusion of not believing.
I love you for your transparency.
I was thinking about writing a book about being poor. Just describing the situation.
Is there such a book on the market already?

amother

Sapphire

Sun, Apr 23 2017, 3:24 pm

Not sure ....
But I won't buy it.

I'm living it.

amother

Slategray

Sun, Apr 23 2017, 4:27 pm

amother wrote:

Not sure ....
But I won't buy it.

I'm living it.

I won't be offended...
Anyway, how would you have the money to buy it????

amother

Lilac

Sun, Apr 23 2017, 4:29 pm

I feel your pain because I am living it also.
Married 28 years and my husband had so many jobs and now for the past 10 years he has had none.
We are on the verge of loosing the house we have no money at all.
I don't have any advice but I could commiserate with you.
I wish you much Hatzlacha and I hope things look up for you very soon

amother

Mint

Sun, Apr 23 2017, 4:51 pm

I'm married almost as long and my DH has never had a steady job, most of the time, he has been unemployed and when employed, he was underemployed.

As a result, I work multiple jobs and I'm extremely frugal, I watch every penny.
That's how we survive!

It's tough, but I have no choice.
Maybe I should write that book:

Day one: will I have money to pay electricity before it gets turned off?
Day two: Will I have money to pay for phone?
Day three: will I have money to buy milk and bread? probably not as we paid electricity. Bh, the phone company has extended our cut off date.
Approach a simchas shabbos fund to get food for shabbos, they sent a box of food of things no one will touch, oh well, beggars can't be choosy. Maybe there will be a kiddush in shul so at least the guys can eat.
Bh for fertility issues as we could't afford more kids.
Day four: The school has given the final warning before they pull the kids out, maybe DH can homeschool, he's not working anyway.
Day five: just noticed one kids shoes are torn, really don't have money even for payless, he'll have to wait, this kid kills shoes so often, I'm at a loss.
Day six: Daughter has a school project and needs a few poster boards with some construction paper, BH found some paper but I can't find $1 for the poster boards.
Day seven: Purim is coming, No way can we do costumes, I have no clue how we'll buy any ingredients for our home made MM.

Almost first of the month: BH, we have the rent money as that's the first bill that gets paid.

Day Eight: School called and said my son has been having many social issues and they really feel he needs therapy, I'm wondering if I should laugh or cry.

Day nine: Run of the mill day, BH, no craziness. Got home exhausted from job one, will start job two after supper and homework. Whoever invented pasta is the best, supper for under $1! I do feel guilty that then kids don't get protein for supper besides scrambled eggs or hot dogs occasionally . There's nothing I can do about it unfortunately. I stretch the food stamps, but it covers bare minimum.

Day 10: Daughters class is going on a trip, it's $10!! I just don't have it, will they keep her back? I'm too embarrassed to call school and et them know I can't pay now, maybe next week. Whoops, just realized my phone has been shut off, can't call!

I can go on and on!!!
Just a preview, All the above has happened to me, not exaggerated.
BH, my situation isn't as dire as it was, we now pay more bills every month as my salary has improved. We still can't pay for many things as I've lost food stamps with the increase but hopefully will improve with time.
I work myself ragged and will keep doing it as long as I can and dream of the day we can pay all our bills.