Do you have help with bedtime??

amother

Scarlet

Sun, Apr 23 2017, 11:44 pm

Just had my fifth child BH and my oldest is 8 1/2. Bedtime is really tough. I can't manage without help. Is this normal? Any tips? Do you have your husband home during bedtime?

mha3484

Sun, Apr 23 2017, 11:52 pm

I have three kids 6, 2 and a baby. Husband is home for bedtime but the only help I need is putting the 2 year old in the crib he's heavy! I dress one kid at a time starting with the baby and working my way up.

I do baths totally seperatly. My six year old bathes before school. My 2 year old I bathe at my convienence. There are mornings he has a gross diaper and putting him in the tub is the easiest other days he bathes before dinner I don't stress out about it. I focus on one kid at a time and it gets done.

seeker

Mon, Apr 24 2017, 2:13 am

I think it's absolutely normal to need help with bedtime in this circumstance - not only do you have a lot of little kids at once, but you say one is new - so you're probably still recovering and haven't had time to adjust to the new family size/dynamic! So for starters definitely give yourself a lot more time before starting to wonder if you're not managing well enough.

I don't know about husbands home but I do know that when I was about 13-17 kids like me would go help out around bedtime in families that had a lot of little ones and not enough help. Think hard if there is anyone in your neighborhood who has teenagers and not a lot of other kids they need help with.

Maybe you can give your 8-year-old a special job to entertain your 2-year-old while you put the 4 and 6 year olds to bed together. Then the 8 can have a special privilege to stay up late reading or working on a hobby while you put down the 2-year-old. Just brainstorming here, I don't know your kids/schedules/personality but every time I've seen a home with a lot of little kids and a peaceful bedtime, it was with staggered times like that. Divide and conquer.

saw50st8

Mon, Apr 24 2017, 7:39 am

Sometimes my husband is home, sometimes he isn't. My kids are 9, 7, 5 and 3.

Can you detail specific problems? Maybe we can help you problem solve in those areas (regardless of whether or not your husband is available).

What is your husband's schedule like? Can he come home at that time but is choosing not to?

littleprincess

Mon, Apr 24 2017, 8:50 am

Dh usually makes himself available supper time and to put the little ones to sleep. Although everyone goes to sleep different time here. The hardest is 2.5 year old so he usually deals with him while I finish off homework with the others and take care of the baby
It gets easier once u have bigger kids. My 12 year old can entertain the baby while I bath the toddler ... So I can totally manage with dh is not home
But bedtime is not just putting them to sleep. The children want attention from their father. For the little ones it's telling stories and big ones playing a game together...

amother

Violet

Mon, Apr 24 2017, 9:29 am

DH comes home from work after the kids are sleeping. I had similar ages to you - it was tough.
I gave my kids lots of independence in getting ready for bed. I had a chart and most were old enough to follow, accept second to youngest.
Any who could - showered - I supervised from the toilet seat while nursing or folding laundry and they washed themselves and I checked.
I gave in on issues - that we are still doing years later. I let youngest kids in beds sleep in my and Dh bed if that got them sleeping faster and easier.
Had Two bedtimes - one for older 2 and one for younger 2 above the baby - this way wasn't doing bedtime at once or all night.
Did home work with older 2 only after younger 2 were in bed so that they got quiet time with me (assuming the baby behaved). We sat on the couch for homework so it was easier to nurse if I had to.

Also how young is your baby - at the bedinning it is really really hard and eventually you get into a routine. But in the beginning it is so overwhelming - can you have a high school girl, SI, sister or niece come help out the first few weeks?

MiracleMama

Mon, Apr 24 2017, 10:14 am

DH is home 95% of the time to "help" (I agree, this is not helping, this is called co-parenting). With the two of us it's still a bear getting everyone settled in to bed. Everyone claims not to be tired, needs one more snack, one more drink, one more hug.....

Queen6

Mon, Apr 24 2017, 10:29 am

OP; I also had my kids those ages with no help at bed time - it's tough - I agree.
A few helpful pointers:
.1 Keep it simple. Bedtime does not need to include shmoozing time, hours of story's, drinks, more food..... IY"H things will calm down - but for now all that can and should go.
.2 Stagger. Don't aim for everyone at the same time. Maybe send downstairs two big ones and baby while you bring two little ones into bed, then switch....
.3 They don't ALL need baths EVERY night - try to cut out as much as you can.
.4 Try to move quickly so there is no room for wiggle and kvetch....

Just remember the goal is that everyone should go to sleep happy and not stressed. Cut out whatever you need in order to keep things calm - the ONLY important thing is that everyone is calm. Books, super nutritious supper, baths, even shema are all second place.
Good luck!