Question for mothers of Lakewood high school girls

amother

Mint

Thu, Apr 27 2017, 6:46 pm

amother wrote:

That's what I'm saying. Your daughter is no less special and no less deserving than my daughter. This was purely Hashem's gift to us, perhaps because of how much we suffered this year with my son's schooling. It is my fervent hope and prayer that your daughter is placed, as quickly and painlessly as possible, into an appropriate school. I feel with you, believe me I do.

I believe you and I'm truly happy for you and your daughter! I would never want anyone to feel the way I feel now. Mazal tov to you!

amother

Purple

Thu, Apr 27 2017, 6:52 pm

amother wrote:

I believe you and I'm truly happy for you and your daughter! I would never want anyone to feel the way I feel now. Mazal tov to you!

Hoping and davening for your daughter, and all the other daughters still waiting.

Please, please, come and tell us when you have good news and your situation is resolved. We will be waiting!

amother

Cerise

Fri, Apr 28 2017, 1:58 pm

It was a fictional story trying to make people appreciate how hard the vaad works.

There are about one hundred girls out of school and only about twenty to thirty got into two schools.

So there will still be a shortage of seventy girls. Basically two schools will be forced to open another class.

By the end of next week hopefully another twenty girls will have a school.

It seems as if the new schools is where the girls didn't get in.

amother

Purple

Fri, Apr 28 2017, 2:12 pm

amother wrote:

There are about one hundred girls out of school and only about twenty to thirty got into two schools.

So there will still be a shortage of seventy girls. Basically two schools will be forced to open another class.

By the end of next week hopefully another twenty girls will have a school.

It seems as if the new schools is where the girls didn't get in.

Unless I'm misunderstanding what you're saying, I'm confused. I thought generally the newer schools are easier to get into because they haven't built up a reputation yet.

Chayalle

Fri, Apr 28 2017, 3:07 pm

amother wrote:

Yes you are misunderstanding me.

The newer elementary schools had a harder time this year getting their first eight grade into a high school.

That makes sense, because alot of schools feed into certain high schools - some more obviously, like BRR to Bais Shaindel and Bais Tova to Shiras Devorah - but others too - the schools have relationships and the principals have more pull with the high schools.

That's why newer schools are being ~~begged~~ encouraged to open up high schools....

debsey

Fri, Apr 28 2017, 3:12 pm

Chayalle wrote:

I still think this is a mistake. My daughters all benefited from going to a standalone HS, not one that was affiliated with their elementary school. I think the ability to go to a new school, turn over a new leaf, and grow and evolve with new girls is crucial. There's something stifling about being with the same class from Primary through 12th grade.

I think new standalone high schools should open, rather than schools affiliated with an elementary school.

I get that it's a "neater" solution, but it's not the best solution, educationally speaking.

amother

Cerise

Fri, Apr 28 2017, 3:21 pm

Bnos Devorah was supposed to open a high school for next year. Maybe now that he sees how difficult it is to get his students into a high school he will open up a school. He has a higher chance of being successful than a stand alone school because he already has an elementary school and more parents would be willing to take a risk with his high school.

Chayalle

Fri, Apr 28 2017, 3:34 pm

debsey wrote:

I'm not sure I agree. I can see that a fresh start benefits some students. But I can speak for myself and say that by eighth grade, my girls loved their classmates, loved their friends, and would have loved to just continue on to high school with them. I told my good friends, whose girls were in BRR and Bais Tova, that I envy them the stability their girls have, moving on to high school so seamlessly.

ETA: Plus the pain and stress this adds to the lives of so many teens and their parents, worrying which high school to choose, how to then get into that high school, how to deal with a situation of not having a high school to attend...hardly justifies the price of the stand alone schools.

sky

Fri, Apr 28 2017, 4:46 pm

I grew up you went to one elementary school and then one middle school and then one high school. We all moved along together - It was a given with no test and no interview. I think its wonderful to not have to worry about new friends, and culture and rules and acceptance while going through teenage years.
We had new principals and teachers and buildings so it wasn't like we were bringing all our baggage with us when moving between grades.

amother

Aqua

Fri, Apr 28 2017, 6:55 pm

debsey wrote:

The elementary school I went to had a high school also, most of us continued on and we had very few newcomers. For me the transition to high school was very easy. My dd's group of friends was mostly separated into different high schools. My dd had a very hard time. She is now in 12th grade and she still hasn't made a really good friend in school. She made good friends in camp, who she keeps up with all year, so it's not like she doesn't know how to make friends, it just didn't work for her and she was very unhappy all through high school. I wish she would have been able to stay with her friends.

For some girls a new start is the best, but not for all.

balibusta

Sat, Apr 29 2017, 11:51 pm

Classes end up ttly dif even if affiliated with an elementary school bec they mix up the classes and just bec some1 is in your grade if she not in your class chances r you dont rly know her ans plus theres always new kids from other schools so it dif u might end up with just the amount of kids in your 8th grade class if u went to dif school

amother

Mistyrose

Wed, May 03 2017, 7:04 pm

Thanks everyone who chimed in to explain the process and keep us posted.
QUESTION: So far we got no letters from any of the 4 schools we applied to. What would out next move be? Wait for second round? Wait for Vaad? I don't like asking for favors from people and begging them to call this school and that principal... I feel like I would rather wait and see how the process unfolds. Any advice is appreciated.

amother

Cerise

Wed, May 03 2017, 7:12 pm

Misty rose most important is to speak to your daughters teacher or principal. You want to try to get her to get in on the second round. Find out if there is a reason why she didn't get in or if it was just a room
Issue. Maybe they can push for her. Second round should be coming out the end of the week if not the beginning of next week.

Please find out where she is holding so you
Know how to proceed.

Chayalle

Wed, May 03 2017, 7:48 pm

amother wrote:

This. If you haven't spoken to her current principal and 8th grade main teacher, call them TONIGHT.

Quote:

don't like asking for favors from people and begging them to call this school and that principal..

Honey, I'm going to get really tough now, which is not my usual. Now is not the time to think about what you do or don't like. Now is the time to think about what your daughter needs. You MUST do this. Everyone needs a favor from others at some point in their life. Right now you need it from people, another time they will need it from you and you will gladly give it, having been in that position. So TONIGHT, call your sisters-in-law, sisters, neighbors, and friends who already have a child in high school and can call the school/principal/administrator on your behalf. If you have any connections to anyone in Askanus, like someone active in the town, the school, or a wealthy parent, call them in particular. Do it tonight.

My apologies if I'm pushing you out of your comfort zone....that's where you need to be right now. This is not a town where you sit and wait to see how things unfold.

amother

Aqua

Wed, May 03 2017, 7:54 pm

Chayalle wrote:

Please listen to Chayalle and mistyrose. I also hate to bother people and ask for favors. I have a close relative who has "pull" in the school we really wanted, but like you, we didn't want to bother her. When I called her after we didn't get in in round one, she was so upset. She said if she would have knows we wanted that school, she would have gladly pushed for us, but because I never called her she assumed we weren't interested. At that point it was much harder for her to get us in, but B"H she was able to.

For your dd's sake, please, please make those phone calls. You don't want her to be the one without an answer until the end of August because you didn't feel comfortable making the calls. Think of how guilty and horrible you would feel at that point.

Hatzlacha, I am davening for you and everyone else who still didn't get into school.

Emotional

Wed, May 03 2017, 8:10 pm

sequoia wrote:

Why does anybody put up with this?...

Because this is where we live right now, and packing up and moving isn't always an option every time we don't like something. There are other things to consider, like the needs of other children in the household, jobs, family such as aging parents, etc.
Carry on, everyone.😃