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Babysitter VS Daycare

 
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amother




Navy


Post  Sun, Feb 28 2016, 10:07 am
I will have my 2 year old in nursery school which is 1 mile from our home. I am debating whether to send my baby who would be about 3 months old to daycare which is in the same building as the nursery school from about 7:45 am to 5:00 pm or have a babysitter in my home while I work and arrange for my son to only be in nursery from about 9 am to 1 pm or 3 pm or so. Opinions??
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busydev









  


Post  Sun, Feb 28 2016, 10:23 am
First thing I would do is crunch numbers for all possibilities, daycare/playgroup, home/playgroup till 1, home/playgroup till 3.

How would your 2yo get to/from playgroup?

Daycare has more supervision then an in home babysitter and are usually more reliable (not gonna call in sick)

Staying in home means less germ exposure for your baby. And more one in one attention. Sometimes the sitter can do some basic tidying up as well (but then again with them out all day there wouldn't be a huge mess)

It will also be easier to come home at 5 and not then have to get kids onto the car etc.
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with a smile :)









  


Post  Sun, Feb 28 2016, 10:33 am
It depends on who the babysitter would be. If you can get a loving, frum woman, then I would imagine that would be best for your baby. One on one care doesn't compare to a group setting, assuming of course that it's good one on one care. But if you'd be taking someone you can't really feel that you trust, then that's different, as she'd be unsupervised with him and you don't really know what's going on.
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pesek zman









  


Post  Sun, Feb 28 2016, 11:02 am
I'm a big fan of daycare. Started my baby at 3 months and she has done great (now 14 months)
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nyer1









  


Post  Sun, Feb 28 2016, 11:06 am
in general, day care is cheaper. I would probably send my two kids to the same place. makes logistics of drop off/pick up so much easier. I also think that when babies are around other babies, they definitely socialize more even at such a young age. I've never had the opportunity for this as I have crazy hours so I've always needed a nanny but if I had the chance to put my two kids in the same facility I totally would.

also, day cares, if licensed are monitored by the city/state, and have to uphold various standards. there's a lot more accountability and you have the peace of mind knowing that there is more than just one set of eyes on your child. something to think about.
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amother




Navy


Post  Sun, Feb 28 2016, 3:15 pm
I have my 1.5 year old in daycare now. I am just so exhausted from working full time and being in school full time and doing cooking and cleaning. But I don't like the idea of having a spanish or black lady with my baby all day in my house, for that reason I like daycare, but in daycare kids get sick more often and the babies are not held they are put in swings and bouncers.
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invisiblecircus









  


Post  Sun, Feb 28 2016, 3:24 pm
amother wrote:
I don't like the idea of having a spanish or black lady with my baby all day in my house


Shocked
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agreer









  


Post  Sun, Feb 28 2016, 4:10 pm
invisiblecircus wrote:
Shocked


Oh, puh-leease.

She means goyishe, as probably in her area, the majority of available babysitters are spanish or black.

She doesn't trust having a [gentile] in her house all day, and I do not blame her.

ETA: Ooh-ahh...Didn't realize [gentile] was a bad word. Just meant non-Jew. It got auto-replaced.
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amother




Navy


Post  Sun, Feb 28 2016, 4:22 pm
Half of my family is actually not Jewish as I am a Baal teshuvah. What I meant by my comment is having a babysitter or nanny that's not Jewish is often not the same as having a bubby type babysitter. Very difficult to find someone trust worthy and kind and loving and hard working
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kb









  


Post  Sun, Feb 28 2016, 4:36 pm
To be technical, I'm sure there are warm black grandmas. And my Mexican cleaning lady adores my kids.

But at the same time, I want my children brought up by people with similar ideals as mine. Iow, I'd like frum people watching my kids if at all possible.
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MMCH









  


Post  Sun, Feb 28 2016, 7:39 pm
In my experience, I have found having a babysitter at home is really the best and most convenient.
I have a wonderful woman, who is non-jewish, has been working for my family for over 15 years, and I trust her (but I understand ppl who dont) I share her with two other babies for half the day, so the money is cheaper for me
the stress of leaving with a million bags, carrying babies, and all their paraphenlia is gone! no packed up lunched, nothing.
I come home to a semi clean home, she straightens up for me.
However, and there is a big however, daycare is more reliable. they dont call in sick. they are not late, and don't ask to leave early on some days to go to the doctor.

You have to figure out whats better for you.
I was going out of my mind from the the drop off/ and pick ups of daycares
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oliviablond









  


Post  Wed, May 10 2017, 11:42 am
My daughter is 3.6 now and has been in daycare since 11 months old (Canadian mat leave). I was also seriously considering nannies. Being around the other kids for around 8 hours a day has helped her in so many ways. Naturally a shy kid she has made huge progress in proper socializing with other kids. My both daycares and nannies have their own pros and cons. There is no a single perfect solution for everyone.
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Sadie









  


Post  Wed, May 10 2017, 12:13 pm
I take care of babies in a day care setting. We have younger babies, but honestly I don't think babies get anything good out of day care until they're about 8-9 months old. Younger than that I think it's worth it to keep the baby at home with a sitter. That's assuming you have a loving and responsible sitter.

The comment about Spanish and black ladies certainly was disgusting. It's not the same thing as saying you prefer to leave your baby with Jewish caregivers. A) a gentile is a gentile; a Hispanic or black gentile is not more of a gentile than a white European one, and B) there are Hispanic and black Jews.
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amother




Orchid


Post  Wed, May 10 2017, 12:14 pm
oliviablond wrote:
My daughter is 3.6 now and has been in daycare since 11 months old (Canadian mat leave). I was also seriously considering nannies. I am so glad I went with Maples day care . Being around the other kids for around 8 hours a day has helped her in so many ways. Naturally a shy kid she has made huge progress in proper socializing with other kids. My both daycares and nannies have their own pros and cons. There is no a single perfect solution for everyone.


How did you know at 11 months that she was having trouble socializing - and that daycare made her have huge progress? 11 month olds don't socialize.
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amother




Yellow


Post  Wed, May 10 2017, 12:34 pm
Babies don't need to be socialized. Babies should not have to share the attention they need with a bunch of other infants. I vote for home babysitter. And the kids that I know who went to daycare are more agressive than the ones that had home babysitting in my opinion because they had to compete for attention and share toys at an age where it's not age appropriate.
Obviously this is my personal observation and I'm not claiming it to be scientifically true.
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amother




Dodgerblue


Post  Wed, May 10 2017, 6:21 pm
Please do not send your child to a daycare. There are too many kids ( babies do not learn social skills from other children they learn from a loving adult in their life) too many germs and its much harder for a baby to transfer his attachment from you( mom) to the caregiver ( while you are away). In day care there are many caregivers and there is a turn over which is really not good for baby. Also you dont want your baby placed in bouncers and swings all day which they tend to do more of in daycare. A good (nany cammed) loving babysitter is a much better choice. Your baby transfers attachment to a loving stable caregiver, no extra germs, lots of attention and one on one interactions, in bad weather the baby doesnt have to go out, and a far more personalized experience. Its definitely something not to be " cheap" on.
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amother




Orchid


Post  Wed, May 10 2017, 6:33 pm
amother wrote:
Please do not send your child to a daycare. There are too many kids ( babies do not learn social skills from other children they learn from a loving adult in their life) too many germs and its much harder for a baby to transfer his attachment from you( mom) to the caregiver ( while you are away). In day care there are many caregivers and there is a turn over which is really not good for baby. Also you dont want your baby placed in bouncers and swings all day which they tend to do more of in daycare. A good (nany cammed) loving babysitter is a much better choice. Your baby transfers attachment to a loving stable caregiver, no extra germs, lots of attention and one on one interactions, in bad weather the baby doesnt have to go out, and a far more personalized experience. Its definitely something not to be " cheap" on.


this is a really old thread... but...lots of generalizations here. and the OP was considering daycare way past the bouncer and swing stage.
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pesek zman









  


Post  Wed, May 10 2017, 7:03 pm
amother wrote:
Please do not send your child to a daycare. There are too many kids ( babies do not learn social skills from other children they learn from a loving adult in their life) too many germs and its much harder for a baby to transfer his attachment from you( mom) to the caregiver ( while you are away). In day care there are many caregivers and there is a turn over which is really not good for baby. Also you dont want your baby placed in bouncers and swings all day which they tend to do more of in daycare. A good (nany cammed) loving babysitter is a much better choice. Your baby transfers attachment to a loving stable caregiver, no extra germs, lots of attention and one on one interactions, in bad weather the baby doesnt have to go out, and a far more personalized experience. Its definitely something not to be " cheap" on.


My daughters daycare is fantastic and NOT cheap (is more than 2k/month cheap to you?) and ahe was most definitely NOT in a bouncer or swing all day. Her daycare has enrichment programs (think soccer and yoga, and yes, even for little babies) as well as bilingual music classes, art, science (she had a pet caterpillar that she watched turn into a butterfly) and math. Her verbal skills far outpace others her age, and studies have shown that daycare babies get 'sick' more when young, but less later on (kindergarten)

My baby has done fantastic. Daycare is most definitely the right choice for our family (not a nanny who is totally unaccounted for, and is potentially taking my baby to banana republic (leaving her in the stroller all day) like I see other nannies in my neighborhood do.

I don't judge moms who choose nannies. Everybody makes the choice that's best for their family but I would never not another mom 'not to get a nanny' even though it's not the choice I made and you shouldn't impose your opinions and observations re: daycare on anyone
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amother




Dodgerblue


Post  Wed, May 10 2017, 7:16 pm
Im so happy that daycare worked for your daughter but feel free to do research on this topic especially regarding the babys attachment. Babies dont need yoga or spanish( although it definitely sounds cool;) they thrive on having their physical needs met when they need them and lots of love and attention. Of course some nannies will go shopping and not do their job but if a mom has an oppurtunity to get a great nanny ( who is nanny cammed for accountability) it is a far superior choice to make versus day care. There is lots of research that shows how children left in daycares for long hours are more aggresive etc. In regarding getting sick its much more dangerous for a baby to get sick then a kindergarten student so you dont want to expose your baby to all those germs. Obviously not all daycares are created equal and if a mom must send to daycare do your research and observe. Either way it sounds like this isnt relevant anymore and Im glad that you were happy with daycare pesek zman.
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