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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling -> Homeschooling
To continue to homeschool?- long



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amother
Apricot


 

Post Thu, May 11 2017, 6:57 pm
We have been Homeschooling High school dd for 2 years now- because of bullying in the school she was in. Over the past 2 years we have seen dd grow and flourish, her confidence being built up, self esteem growing back to where it should be and actually learning where a year ago she could not form a coherent paragraph to now where she just completed a 5 page essay (with some help). Soo proud of her, but now she is asking to go to another school in the neighborhood. She feels she is missing out on the comradery and school spirit etc. She does see these girls on Shabbat, and is involved in chessed opportunities and NCSY but she feels it is not the same. She says she also misses the classroom environment and being taught by multiple teachers(she does a lot of classes now through a computer program). I hear it and get it. But I worry about a couple of things- first, We found out that she has a language processing disorder/form of dyslexia- they can't pinpoint exactly cuz she is one of those kids that depending on the day and how something is asked she could get it right or wrong and so she is border line. The other is if she goes back to school she will get there and say OMH!!! this is too much and the fun novelty will wear off. There is another option and that is sending her to a non-Jewish school that specializes in reading disabilities.
I created a list of pros and cons for each- To be honest I don't love homeschooling, but I think it has been amazing for her and would like for her to continue- by next year she can actually start taking classes at community college if she wanted to and there are so many cool opportunities for her that she cannot get by being in a school building .
Aside from the comradery the only other thing I slightly worry about is that she will not have good note taking skills for college...
Homeschooling
- Not as much social as she would like
-Actually learning and thriving educationally
-can focus on education and not be involved with teen drama
-low stress environment
-opportunity to try things that are of interest

Local day school
-social opportunity
-they will accommodate her learning needs, but not remediate (I.e. worry they will keep her dumb)
- will still need a tutor to keep teaching the skills she can use to excel at school
-no time for any extra activities
-high stress environment
-teen drama

Specialized school
-will keep her education on an upward trajectory
-will remediate
-will teach her to self advocate
-not jewish environment- scary
-will not be socializing with these classmates outside of school

Thoughts anyone????
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OOTforlife




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 11 2017, 7:08 pm
I don't have any advice. But I admire how carefully you are weighing up all the considerations and how focused you are on what is best for your daughter. Hatzlacha.
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Thu, May 11 2017, 7:09 pm
I had a similar situation at one point. There is no right answer. My mother told me not to go to school, she didn't think is was good for me, but I really wanted to.

I went and had some great times and some terrible times. Overall I was probably better off not going, but if I hadn't gone I would have idealized it in my head and resented my mother forever.

I would say you should read her this list and let her choose.
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Thu, May 11 2017, 7:17 pm
Thanks for the encouragement! I want dd to feel empowered and part of the conversation- She really wants to do this and I see all her points, but obviously the final decision is the adults.
Also to be honest, when I hear her talking about- schmoozing with friends and hanging out at lunchtime etc. and still having to pay for her tutor on top of the $20,000 or so for tuition in order for her to really learn (we have a great tutor and she is NOT cheap)- I think , so I am paying $20,000 for her to schmooze during the day and have a locker and eat lunch with people???
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Thu, May 11 2017, 7:19 pm
amother wrote:
I had a similar situation at one point. There is no right answer. My mother told me not to go to school, she didn't think is was good for me, but I really wanted to.

I went and had some great times and some terrible times. Overall I was probably better off not going, but if I hadn't gone I would have idealized it in my head and resented my mother forever.

I would say you should read her this list and let her choose.


That is exactly what I worry about.
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amother
Lemon


 

Post Thu, May 11 2017, 8:06 pm
It's a tough decision and hard to know what the right answer will be. It doesn't sound like she would have too long to go in school though right? If she went to the non-Jewish school she would be making strides in education but also learning how to navigate an environment that is more "real world" maybe with different walks of life. Yet, still have the safety net of being at home while at the same time still making positive growth.
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Kugglegirl




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 12 2017, 1:24 am
I have a high school daughter with Dyslexia. She was in public school & is now in our out of town Jewish girls High school. The school has been very flexible with her academic responsibility for Lemudi Kodesh.

She works hard on her own & gets average grades in the secular classes.

I think the social connections and the ruach & school spirit activities are very important. My daughter wanted very much to be home schooled, but I do not have the resources & she would have been very socially isolated if home schooled.

That said, our local school administrator feels very committed to the girls of our community & we had discussed previously some ideas for having girls in public school engage in the Girls High school community.

If you feel like your daughter will not be academically supported in the local Jewish high school, I would suggest you have a dialogue with the school administrators about a partial enrollment plan.

If there is some way that she could attend for davening, some Lemudi Kodesh and be included in the school wide spirit and inspirational activities, like school play, shabbatons, special lectures, chessed club and other clubs, that would bridge some of the needs you mentioned.

Regarding note taking, I would bet the local community college has a skills class, or a student support center that can help with that. When you look at community college and college admissions, take her dyslexia diagnosis & any documentation on any accommodations she received in school & find the student support center (may have a different name at different schools) to discuss and make a plan for accommodation.
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Fri, May 12 2017, 7:30 am
This is all great chizuk. I actually did ask the jewish school she wants to go to if she could participate in some of their extra curricular activities and I said of course we would pay- they said nope. The only thing they offered was a learning class once a week at 6pm, that most of the girls don't go to.....The school is big enough not to feel they need to do extra outside of their own school population- I don't blame them for that. On the other hand the school where my daughter was bullied has continuously and graciously offered for my daughter to join in any and all events- which she won't do of course(these girls haven't changed as she has tried to visit their and see if things were different and the mean girls are still nasty. : (
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