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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
The Morah took away my 6 yr olds shoes
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amother
Pearl


 

Post Mon, May 08 2017, 6:26 pm
My first grade teacher would take away a kids shoes if they kept on taking them off during class. At one point there was a "game" where kids would kick off their shoes and see how far they can get them. If that happened in her class, she would take them away until either the end of class, or if this was a second or third offence at the end of the day. Some kids were actually proud of having their shoes taken away because it meant that they were "real troublemakers" which was for some reason exciting for them. I don't think any parents were upset by this.
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pizza4




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 08 2017, 6:39 pm
It's a weird thing to do for sure, but I doubt there was any danger involved in being shoeless for a couple hours. Seems like the teacher didn't know how to deal with this.
Though I am not belittling the shaming factor.
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userfriendly




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 08 2017, 8:07 pm
amother wrote:
My first grade teacher would take away a kids shoes if they kept on taking them off during class. At one point there was a "game" where kids would kick off their shoes and see how far they can get them. If that happened in her class, she would take them away until either the end of class, or if this was a second or third offence at the end of the day. Some kids were actually proud of having their shoes taken away because it meant that they were "real troublemakers" which was for some reason exciting for them. I don't think any parents were upset by this.


I think this example is very different than having your shoes taken away because they don't abide by the schools standards. I'm Not sure that I think your teachers approach was the best either, because it seems kids enjoyed having their shoes taken since it meant they were "trouble makers" , but for a child to have their shoes taken because it doesn't follow school rules is cruel and extremely embarrassing. And the teacher is really getting nowhere because the kid isn't the one buying their own clothing- this needs to be taken up with the parents.
To the Op- I'm really sorry this happened to your child. I would certainly speak to the teacher to make sure you got the proper story- but if that is the real story I would flip so I don't have any advice for you Wink
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salt




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 09 2017, 3:03 am
I would be very angry, and make the teacher know this, and make sure my son knows, with all due respect for the teachers, that that was the wrong way to punish him, if at all there was need for a punishment.
But, those of you who are saying move schools - with that attitude I think you'll be moving schools all the time.
This sounds like it was a once off mistake of judgment, that should be put straight - moving schools is a big deal for kids, and if you're going to pull your kids out of school for anything and everything that makes you livid, you're just making it hard on your kid.
The way to deal with things is not always to move - this can be said for a lot of aspects of life. My neighbor was rude, I'm moving house... The rabbi's wife was insulting, I'm moving shuls... my boss yelled at me, I'm moving jobs...
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geulah papyrus




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 09 2017, 7:16 am
As a mom I'm appalled, as a licensed teacher--I'm speechless (well, except for this comment, I guess.)
It's not like this kid had chem lab and was told not to wear sandals because he needed appropriate footwear. Even if that was the case (because all six year olds have chem lab, right?!) the student would just not have been able to participate. I know that some schools have rules about wearing proper footwear on the playground, but kids who are improperly attired are just made to sit out--their clothing isn't taken away.
I'm sorry your child had to go through this. Definitely speak with the teacher. I'd be concerned about what other punishments are being given.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 09 2017, 7:34 am
This isn't violent, dangerous or humiliating.
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abaker




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 09 2017, 9:01 pm
In our school the children are required to keep shoes on in case of emergency. I mean Chas v shalom in a real emergency you will get out without shoes on, but incase of a fire drill their legally supposed to be on.

Op this is really wrong and obnoxious of the teacher. No reason to make "a mountain out of a mole hill" and no excuse to shame and embarrass an innocent child!
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noosheen




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 09 2017, 9:29 pm
Ruchel wrote:
This isn't violent, dangerous or humiliating.

I think it IS humiliating.

And could possibly have been dangerous
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noosheen




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 09 2017, 9:33 pm
Op can u fill us in after speaking to the teacher? Let us know what Happened please!!
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Dandelion1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 09 2017, 9:40 pm
Ruchel wrote:
This isn't violent, dangerous or humiliating.


Not violent or dangerous per se, but definitely humiliating.
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amother
Mauve


 

Post Wed, May 10 2017, 1:37 am
noosheen wrote:
Op can u fill us in after speaking to the teacher? Let us know what Happened please!!



I plan to, please G-d. Thanks for commenting everyone. It all helps.
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mommyloves




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 10 2017, 4:41 am
This is beyond upsetting! We send our children to these schools and we trust the Morahs and principles and they humiliate them like this? This gets my blood boiling, your poor son. I hope you really give it to them.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 10 2017, 5:38 am
Kids remove their shoes on their own sometimes. Not humiliating unless she said humiliating things along with it. But again maybe there's an imamother symbolic to the gesture that I have n way to guess.
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amother
Mauve


 

Post Mon, May 15 2017, 1:12 am
update...

Morah is claiming nothing happened. Truly seems truthful. She does not hold back and tells me when my son is doing great and when he needs more guidance. is a very straightforward talker and when I questioned her about the shoes she was silent and did not know what I was talking about. said she does not remember anything at all happening regarding any sandals being removed at all. I requestioned my son, he TRULY had his shoes off. is speaking plainly about it. not being silly or evasive. just plainly answers my questions. which moreah again? "morah x" did she ask you to do something about your shoes? to take them off. what did you do with them? put in a plastic bag in his backpack. morah told him to put shoes on when it was bus time. I even asked, how did this make you feel... I gave him all sorts of choices, sad, happy, good, bad, weird, embarrassed, nothing, awesome to not have to wear shoes, etccc.... you know what he said? embarrassed.

I am not a gullible person. I have a skeptical nature. and yet my son and the morah are both seeming to be authentic. is it possible that my son misinterpreted the situation and it was less harsh then he thought, AND that she just doesn't remember? these are more rhetorical wonderings than actual questions. but no matter how I turn over this scenario, I still think his shoes were off.

the fact that these accounts are not adding up at all is too weird. tomorrow I will try to contact the assistant morah who was there.
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Teomima




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 15 2017, 2:14 am
amother wrote:
is it possible that my son misinterpreted the situation and it was less harsh then he thought, AND that she just doesn't remember? these are more rhetorical wonderings than actual questions. but no matter how I turn over this scenario, I still think his shoes were off.

the fact that these accounts are not adding up at all is too weird. tomorrow I will try to contact the assistant morah who was there.


I think it is very possible that it wad all just a misunderstanding. I have a clear memory from when I was about that age. We had Show and Tell and the rule was we had to remember to bring our object into the class from the lockers in the hall, before Show and Tell began. That if we forgot it and went out to the lockers in the middle, we couldn't cone back in. Well, one time it happened to me and I thought I wasn't allowed back in class, ever. I hid in the hall, pulled out my braids, and came back to class pretending to be a different child.

My point is, kids minds make up strange scenarios and overreact to certain instructions. It's possible the morah told him he's not allowed to wear sandals (meaning, in the future) and he interpreted that to mean he couldn't wear them right then, that he had to take them off, and before going home she realized his shoes were off so she told him to put them back on. I'm not making excuses, something really not okay might have happened, but knowing how my own mind worked at that age, I could really see this as a possibility.
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