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Dr. Stein's office is obsessed w/ Child Protective Services
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amother




Azure


Post  Thu, May 18 2017, 11:17 am
Dear forestgreen! Good luck and hugs! My teenage girl is a bit better now but still "under construction". Such a hard time to get new clothes for her! My first one was so much easier
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amother




Black


Post  Thu, May 18 2017, 12:02 pm
No opinion on this story because I don't have any information but I once slipped on ice a day or two before I went to the mikvah. The mikvah lady saw the bruises and started asking me questions about how I got them. I felt that she was coaxing me to say my husband gave them to me.

What if I was in an unhappy marriage contemplating divorce? I could have "given in" and told her my husband gave them to me but please, please , please don't tell anyone I'll work this out. Later I could claim my husband was abusive. The ML would have backed me up and told everyone how she saw the bruises herself and she had to beg for the info from me . Would anyone believe my husband that he is innocent? That is why I'm wary of these type accusations.
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MagentaYenta









  


Post  Thu, May 18 2017, 12:06 pm
amother wrote:
It isn't my brother Shocked ....

I may know more details to the story, but at the end of the day, was I in the home if/when something did happen? No. I am trying to wrap my head around it, too, knowing the purples and dynamics involved. It is just highly suspicious that in the course of a few weeks, the ACS got called down to the doctor's.office, by this Nurse, for this reason. If anyone has agenda, it's her! I'm no ostrich with my head in the sand, but claiming that child abuse and molestation is running rampant in our community is uncalled for.


The real question is how do you know so much of this story? Was it your kid? Frankly I never ask for a thread to be closed but this may be the first.

A qualified health professional is trashed as unhappy and single and gosh just like a loser democrat disappointed in election results because she did her job as a mandatory reporter. You women need to get a life.

I do hope the Dr. is reading here and has her atny slap a cease and desist on the website.
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amother




Hotpink


Post  Thu, May 18 2017, 12:07 pm
amother wrote:
No opinion on this story because I don't have any information but I once slipped on ice a day or two before I went to the mikvah. The mikvah lady saw the bruises and started asking me asking questions about how I got them. I felt that she was coaxing me to say my husband gave them to me.

What if I was in an unhappy marriage contemplating divorce. I could have "given in" and told her my husband gave them to me but please, please , please don't tell anyone I'll work this out. Later I could claim my husband was abusive. The ML would have backed me up and told everyone how she saw the bruises herself and she had to beg for the info from me . Would anyone believe my husband that he is innocent? That is why I'm wary of these type accusations.


Umm you must have been pretty desperate to leave your marriage if you wanted to do such a thing. Was he actually abusive? Otherwise why would you do such a thing?

Now getting back to this young girl, WHY would a young girl be so desperate to leave her family that she would make up such a story? There must be a pretty darn good reason.
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SixOfWands









  


Post  Thu, May 18 2017, 12:29 pm
amother wrote:
No opinion on this story because I don't have any information but I once slipped on ice a day or two before I went to the mikvah. The mikvah lady saw the bruises and started asking me asking questions about how I got them. I felt that she was coaxing me to say my husband gave them to me.

What if I was in an unhappy marriage contemplating divorce? I could have "given in" and told her my husband gave them to me but please, please , please don't tell anyone I'll work this out. Later I could claim my husband was abusive. The ML would have backed me up and told everyone how she saw the bruises herself and she had to beg for the info from me . Would anyone believe my husband that he is innocent? That is why I'm wary of these type accusations.


Many places train mikvah ladies to recognize the signs of abuse, and to try to help women who don't otherwise see a way out. Kol hakavod to this mikvah lady.

But yeah, if you really want to claim abuse, you can beat yourself and secretly whisper it to friends waiting for the big reveal upon divorce. Haven't we all read Gone Girl? But you have to be pretty evil to do that. I think we'll all accept that risk, in return for helping women who genuinely need the help.
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Orchid









  


Post  Thu, May 18 2017, 2:05 pm
Most kids do not lie about abuse.
But at times they can be coaxed or coached. There is ample evidence of this in the news.
This is old, but see this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/.....hool_trial where many children testified that over abuse taking place, but none of which was true.
That said, I don't know if this happened here.
But make no mistake, there are people sitting in jail today for crimes that were based on coached testimony.
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crust









  


Post  Thu, May 18 2017, 2:12 pm
Orchid wrote:

But make no mistake, there are people sitting in jail today for crimes that were based on coached testimony.

Unfortunately, the opposite is usually true. Many victims are not being believed/don't come forward. The abusers have a good time without preasure to face thier crimes.
Do the calculations;
How many actual sentences do you hear per year? Not just a one day arrest/bailed out/6 months parole.
Versus,
How many kids are being abused?
I think the math is paralyzing.
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amother




Indigo


Post  Thu, May 18 2017, 2:31 pm
I was abused physically and sexually by family members and I wish I had this doctor when I was a teenager.

I have other friends who are victims of incest, and I swear, the vast majority of abuse victims would never make up anything like this. In fact, it is an extraordinary feat to even get this info out of victims because of the shame and fear.

Btw, my father is a Rav. And btw, my friends all came from "amazing" families.

You don't know what is going on, even with a relative. It can be literally anyone who is abusing their child and no one knows.

The levels of incest in the frum community are very high. They barely get reported.

Kudos to this doctor for listening and asking the right questions. For noticing when something seems off or wrong.

There is no such thing as what you're saying. It's hard enough for teenagers to admit that they were physically abused. To admit you were sexually abused? The most painful thing to admit to anyone, and very very shameful and gut wrenching.

A tiny minority might make something like this up, but it's such a tiny, tiny minority that the odds are not in favor of whatever you're trying to rationalize here.

You're so deep in your denial I doubt this will resonate, but I guess I can try.

Either way ACS should be called if there is physical abuse, which you admitted there is.
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amother




Black


Post  Thu, May 18 2017, 2:39 pm
amother wrote:
I have other friends who are victims of incest, and I swear, the vast majority of abuse victims would never make up anything like this. In fact, it is an extraordinary feat to even get this info out of victims because of the shame and fear.


If it is such an extraordinary feat to get this information how do you know this about so many of your friends?
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amother




Indigo


Post  Thu, May 18 2017, 2:42 pm
amother wrote:
If it is such an extraordinary feat to get this information how do you know this about so many of your friends?


We met in support groups and php years after the abuse took place and we were away from our abusers.
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crust









  


Post  Thu, May 18 2017, 2:43 pm
amother wrote:
If it is such an extraordinary feat to get this information how do you know this about so many of your friends?

Brilliant!!
Are you literate? I can offer you some books to read/things to listen to before you make such an uneducated comment to an innocent honest poster again.
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amother




Hotpink


Post  Thu, May 18 2017, 2:44 pm
amother wrote:
If it is such an extraordinary feat to get this information how do you know this about so many of your friends?


As I mentioned earlier, I'm sort of involved in the klal- when you're exposed to it you get to hear lots of ugly stories.
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amother




Coffee


Post  Thu, May 18 2017, 2:44 pm
MagentaYenta wrote:
The real question is how do you know so much of this story? Was it your kid? Frankly I never ask for a thread to be closed but this may be the first.

A qualified health professional is trashed as unhappy and single and gosh just like a loser democrat disappointed in election results because she did her job as a mandatory reporter. You women need to get a life.

I do hope the Dr. is reading here and has her atny slap a cease and desist on the website.


AMEN... IT SHOULD BE HASHEMS WILL
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Orchid









  


Post  Thu, May 18 2017, 3:57 pm
crust wrote:
Unfortunately, the opposite is usually true. Many victims are not being believed/don't come forward. The abusers have a good time without preasure to face thier crimes.
Do the calculations;
How many actual sentences do you hear per year? Not just a one day arrest/bailed out/6 months parole.
Versus,
How many kids are being abused?
I think the math is paralyzing.


I actually agree with you that the opposite is usually true.
I agree it's probably more likely victims aren't believed than abusers.
Yet, my post is still true.
It has been proven that witnesses can be coached.

Everyone is up in arms with amother who is saying the kid was coached. Was she in fact coached? Who knows. It is a fact to say "coaching" has, at times, produced false negatives (and sent innocent people to jail). Is it happening here? No idea. But do not get upset at the possibility she was coached.
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amother




Peach


Post  Thu, May 18 2017, 4:44 pm
the problem is that for years and years abuse and molestation was shoved under the rug. blamed the victim. denial. etc.

now the pendulum has swung to the extreme opposite and thats no good either. accepting each disclosure at face value is not only not smart but extrememly damaging. ppl can very easily be coached, prodded, manipulated into saying things that didnt happen or into thinking these things happened when factually they didnt.

I am very close to sucha situation where s/o was falsely accused and it damaged his reputation and career. lawyers fees and stress. for nothing. obviously there was lack of evidence and no conviction.

lets not rush to assume that where theres smoke theres fire. this is an important conversation . we need awareness that unfortunately ppl do take advantage of our new, open-minded approach to molestation/abuse.
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amother




Black


Post  Thu, May 18 2017, 5:09 pm
deleted
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amother




Khaki


Post  Thu, May 18 2017, 6:08 pm
amother wrote:
Yes, on a very rare occasion, a child may fabricate a story about being abused. Unfortunately, far more often, the child is telling the truth and is not believed. Any allegations of abuse must be looked into no matter how respected the alleged abuser is.

Regarding being upset about the girl being questioned in the first place, I'm pretty sure that is standard practice. I remember my mother being sent out of the room and the nurse or doctor asking me questions about my family to make sure I wasn't abused. Even as a child I would never have dreamed of making up a story. I have a hard time believing a teenager would lie about something like this, especially one who is sheltered to say her father is touching her inappropriately


Yup. My pediatrician​ asked me too. U think I told her I was hit? No I didn't. (But as an adult I appreciate that she asked!)
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amother




Tangerine


Post  Thu, May 18 2017, 8:43 pm
I'm posting from two perspectives. One, as the relative of someone who was falsely accused (it came out publicly that it was false) and from what I know of them personally I believe it's untrue, and that of a medical professional/mandated reporter who has reported people when necessary.

The thing is with believing vs not believing--people don't realize there is a VERY good reason to lie--most people will believe them and it will destroy the persons life. Even if they turn out to be innocent their lives are over. Their jobs, their social circles, their standing in the community. Far less people will hear about it once their name is cleared than those who heard about the allegations. So yes, there is a reason for someone to lie. They may lie because they are sick and want revenge or for any other reason. So yes, it's definitely possible for someone to lie.

However, OP admits there is physical abuse. That in itself is worthy of a CPS investigation. And to all those saying a father who hits a teen is automatically bad--my father hit me once when I was a teen. It was for something I didn't even do. I don't think that makes him bad. Good people do bad things sometimes. It also never happened again.

As a medical professional--I don't have the option of turning a blind eye. If I do, that is ethically wrong to the child and I also risk losing my license. As a side note, I find it VERY hard to believe that the NP spend TWO HOURS with the patient. Patients are booked in 15 minute slots for the most part. That's what insurance pays for. In an emergency I can see going for as long as two sessions but no way would it be two hours.

Also, in my training we learned to ask parents to leave for s-xual questions. Teens are less likely to admit s-xual activity in front of their parents. Especially in the frum world. Can also easily ask about safety when alone but it's usually not for terribly long and minor patients need to be accompanied by parents so someone should have noticed something was up.

Either way, the sad lonely woman who left her family years ago shouldn't be penalized for doing her job.
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MagentaYenta









  


Post  Thu, May 18 2017, 8:58 pm
amother wrote:
... Patients are booked in 15 minute slots for the most part. That's what insurance pays for. In an emergency I can see going for as long as two sessions but no way would it be two hours...


This.
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amother




Jetblack


Post  Thu, May 18 2017, 10:14 pm
I wish my doctor would have kicked my parents out of the room so we could be honest and show the signs of physical abuse. My dad intimidated us into saying we wanted him in the room. The nurse is protecting innocent children. A teenager should not be getting hit. A one time thing I wouldn't call CPS but regularly, I for sure would.
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