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S/o on having more children than one can handle



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southernbubby




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 25 2017, 5:59 pm
Just wondering for those who grew up in large families that didn't manage well, were your parents overly involved in community work? Were they pressured to give up too much of their time, which was needed for raising the children? Had they cut back or been more selective as to what types of community involvement to spend time on, would the kids have had their needs met?
My theory is that many families of my generation were expected to be heavily involved outside the family and this caused so much stress for the kids that they did not internalize a positive feeling about either big families or of community involvement (or both).
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amother
Vermilion


 

Post Thu, May 25 2017, 6:47 pm
Yes yes yes, my mother busy taking care of the world.. How sad. She had 15 kids but was too busy to love them.. Laugh with them
So nebach we got married and she is left alone. As if she has no kids... We barely speak to her, she disconnected herself from us
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amother
Cyan


 

Post Thu, May 25 2017, 7:24 pm
Nope they wouldn't have been able to manage that either.
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Thu, May 25 2017, 7:42 pm
I'm from a large family (a dozen), and my mom was a sahm. She was not involved in school or community affairs.

I wanted a large family myself, though when I realized dh wasn't interested in helping out at all (such as, can you please get me something from the grocery on your way home from kollel...), I recalibrated and settled on a tiny family.
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amother
Peach


 

Post Thu, May 25 2017, 10:38 pm
No not very much. My mother just couldn't manage the house (12 children) so she spent alot of time out of the house (at the library, or shopping at the mall) instead of taking care of the family.

I think my mother simply didn't have the personality/skills to manage a large family. She was a more creative, scattered type of person who found housework difficult and couldn't settle down to daily housekeeping chores. Plus the noise, squabbles, etc..overwhelmed her. She had a large family because she was taught that it was her halachic obligation.
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Thu, May 25 2017, 10:51 pm
amother wrote:
Yes yes yes, my mother busy taking care of the world.. How sad. She had 15 kids but was too busy to love them.. Laugh with them
So nebach we got married and she is left alone. As if she has no kids... We barely speak to her, she disconnected herself from us



THIS!
Hey! Are you my sis???
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