4 year old refuses to wear certain clothing

amother

Peach

Tue, May 23 2017, 11:17 am

Hi, my four year old son refuses to wear any clothing with buttons. He won't even wear it if the buttons are for decoration. He also won't sleep with a blanket that has buttons on it.
Now that the weather is getting hot he told me he won't wear shorts or short sleeve shirts.
He also only wants to wear long pants that have a cuff and refuses to wear loose pants.
Anyone have any experience with this?
Is he just trying to manipulate us or is this a sign of something else like a sensory problem?
TIA

amother

Ruby

Wed, May 24 2017, 6:01 pm

My 3 yr old son refused to wear shorts and short sleeves at the beginning of this season because he's so used to warmer, longer clothing that he forgot it's normal to wear shorts and short sleeves.
So one day (90 degrees) I put on shorts and told him I'd take him for ice cream if he wears them. I also showed him pics of him last summer, when he wore shorts etc, and that helped too. Ever since he wore shorts that one day, it's been a lot easier to remind him that it's normal to wear shorts in the summer.
Part of the problem is also that he's our oldest, and he never sees me in short sleeves or shorts (other than pajamas), and my husband usually doesn't wear them either, so he wasn't used to the idea.

amother

Mustard

Wed, May 24 2017, 9:49 pm

I empathize!
You have to pick your battles. This is what works for me: forget the buttons. There are enough shirts without them.
Allow him to wear short sleeve shirt with a light sweatshirt on top. This is a good time because mornings are still chilly. Later in the day he will want to take the sweatshirt off, and will be wearing short sleeves. I started this when it was still a bit cooler and he kept his sweatshirt on all day. The third day he took it off and it was his choice, I didn't force him or comment.
I do not force ds to wear shorts. I'm happy he wears short sleeves above 80 degrees.
Good luck!

Last edited by amother on Wed, May 24 2017, 11:14 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Olive

Wed, May 24 2017, 11:05 pm

It definitely sounds sensory. I wouldn't push it. To this day, I have to cut the tags off all my clothing, and I can't wear wool items, because both of those bother me so much. So his thing is buttons. Find clothing that doesn't bother him and don't make an issue out of it. If it truly bothers him, he can't help it . Look into getting him evaluated for O/T. That might help him.

MitzadSheini

Thu, May 25 2017, 12:26 am

Just wanted to note the irony of all the threads trying to force three year old GIRLS to wear long sleeves and stockings, whereas here you are trying to get a BOY to wear short sleeves and shorts.

Just - interesting.

seeker

Thu, May 25 2017, 12:50 am

It sounds like a sensory preference, not a sensory problem. Respect his need to feel comfortable. Don't push it. Make sure the clothes you're offering are nice and soft. It is very likely that he will become more comfortable with short sleeves as he gets used to the idea, it is often uncomfortable to change what you're used to.

A sensory problem would be if this were happening in many areas of life and/or seriously enough to impact his ability to function. Insisting on wearing long sleeves in the spring does not qualify.

amother

Azure

Thu, May 25 2017, 1:05 am

My DD is somewhat "sensory" - not enough that I consider it a problem, but she does have lots of specifications about what she will or won't wear, and the specifications change over time. I have learned not to make a big deal and to buy clothing that I know she will like. Truth is that I am pretty sensory myself and I have lots of specifications of my own about what I wear, so I know where she is coming from.

amother

Peach

Thu, May 25 2017, 2:08 am

Op here: thank you all for your replies. Very helpful. It was 88 degrees the other day and Ds agreed to take his shirt sleeve shirt in his backpack to school and he wore it while they were playing outside. So hopefully he is getting more comfortable.

amother

Smokey

Thu, May 25 2017, 5:16 pm

seeker wrote:

I strongly disagree.

I have sensory issues. As a child, it mainly manifested in particularities about clothing. There were no other obvious signs until I was much older. And I still suffer from sensory issues to this day, because no one thought my clothing 'issues' were serious enough to warrant an evaluation, and I never got help for it. And only as an adult did it become clear just home many areas of my life my sensory issues were affecting ,and how many had been affected by my sensory issues, but apparently weren't clear to the untrained eye. Please take your child to get evaluated - it's a win-win - if there is a problem, you can help it early, and if there isn't a problem then you know things are fine and can focus more on approaching the behavior.