Anyone know this meat/dairy halacha?

amother

Taupe

Sun, May 28 2017, 11:07 pm

Feels to late at night for AYLOR...

I had a dishpan full of just about every fleishig dish and silverware I own waiting in the sink to be cleaned from Shabbos. There was cool/room temperature water in it but I'm not sure how much - whatever accumulated from people using the sink over the last couple of hours? Literally no idea, I wasn't in the kitchen.

When I got to the kitchen I found DH conscientiously rinsing out our used yogurt containers... with boiling hot water... right over my full fleishig dishpan. shock

Now that I got over all the "HOW COULD YOU" and "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING" and "ARE YOU BLIND?" I would like to know whether I actually have a giant kashrus problem on my hands or not.

I'd like to think "not" but given the situation - yogurt containers with plenty of yogurt stuck to them, plus literally boiling water, plus dirtyish fleishig dishes that appeared to be only partly sitting in cool/old water... I just dunno... it doesn't sound so great.

I wish I knew who to ask... at 11 pm.

ra_mom

Sun, May 28 2017, 11:12 pm

Yad soledes bo is when the water burns you. If the water he was using to rinse didn't burn him (he didn't yank his hand back out from the extent of the temperature) then it doesn't need a shaila. If it did then leave everything in cool water, or wash in cool water now, and ask tomorrow.

amother

Taupe

Sun, May 28 2017, 11:18 pm

ra_mom wrote:

It was almost definitely yad soledes bo. He wasn't putting his hand in it, he was just holding the yogurt containers under it and pouring them out (INTO MY FLEISHIG DISHPAN!!! ARE YOU BLIND???) He tends to use scalding hot water in general.

I poured out the milky water as quickly as I could and then had no idea what to do next!

And he was like, "You've always been trying to get me to rinse the recyclables... why aren't you happy now?" Exploding anger

ra_mom

Sun, May 28 2017, 11:19 pm

amother wrote:

It's a shaila. It doesn't mean all is lost. Most probably everything will be ok. Just ask. No worries tonight.

amother

Taupe

Sun, May 28 2017, 11:25 pm

Just saw it's not literally all my dishes... only all my plates, all my soup spoons, and about half of everything else. And he had the nerve to tell me off for yelling Mad

ra_mom

Sun, May 28 2017, 11:35 pm

amother wrote:

Just saw it's not literally all my dishes... only all my plates, all my soup spoons, and about half of everything else. And he had the nerve to tell me off for yelling Mad

I know it's stressful. Hug

amother

Taupe

Mon, May 29 2017, 10:05 am

The water was literally steaming IIRC.
He is not observant so will definitely not be calling any rabbi or doing any kashering.
Morning has arrived, time to find a rabbi to ask...

amother

Navy

Mon, May 29 2017, 11:13 am

there must be a hotline you could call at night. I know there is one in monsey. the bais horaah. but I dont know where you live.

your dh might be so oblivious to the kashrus because of not being observant. so yelling at him wont make it better. I know you were frustrated. does he ususally respect that the house is run respecting your wishes as a frum house? then he just got so caught away. dont make this an issue. this may make him more upset. its a nisayon I know. but not your fault its his responsibility that he made this. (in theory he should be calling but you know he wont)

im sorry you have to deal with this.

CEF

Mon, May 29 2017, 11:41 am

What is more shocking to me is all your reactions written in upper case letters. I understand you were very angry. I would also be. But I can't imagine he was doing any of it on purpose. I don't want to act 'holier than thou' but cut him some slack - this happens to people all the time. OBSERVANT people. Maybe not to you, but seriously, it does happen all the time (absent-mindedness, stress, etc)

The cost of all the things being treifed up will also be considered by a Rav.

The shalom bayis also.

Maybe what you need to think about addressing more is how you are coping with being married to someone who isn't observant.

I hope I haven't been too forceful. I don't mean to be hurtful either. I just think we sometimes get lost in halachic detail to the extent of going mentally wild, when actually shalom bayis is also important in these situations.

Bluesky 1

Mon, May 29 2017, 11:43 am

[quote="CEF"]. I understand you were very angry. I would also be. But I can't imagine he was doing any of it on purpose. I don't want to act 'holier than thou' but cut him some slack - this happens to people all the time. OBSERVANT people. Maybe not to you, but seriously, it does happen all the time (absent-mindedness, stress, etc)

this.

FranticFrummie

Mon, May 29 2017, 12:28 pm

I totally understand the yelling. She was in SHOCK! shock

She's immediately thinking "What do I have to kasher? What do I have to throw out? How much money is this going to cost us? I can't replace this dish pattern, it's discontinued! That was my favorite pan, the one that never had food burn in it!"

I'd be yelling, too. Still, I had to LOL at how clueless men can be. Bless their little pea brains. Rolling Eyes

OP, if it's a big financial loss to replace things, explain that to the rabbi. Sometimes things are not so cut and dried, and there is room for leniency if you can't afford new things.

(If they're sentimental, it doesn't count. There's no lenincy if it was your grandmother's plates, but there is if it means that you can't buy shoes for your kids this week.)

sweetpotato

Mon, May 29 2017, 1:11 pm

I'd think the yogurt residue, mixing with a stream of water and then with the water in your dishpan would be batel b'shishim and wouldn't pose any problem to the keilim. It's not the same as pouring boiling hot pure dairy on the dishes.

marina

Mon, May 29 2017, 8:09 pm

Knives that have recently cut onions lemons or other spicy food may be a problem. Also the rav will ask you how dirty the meat dishes were and if it was actually meat or just pareve food. Gluck and let us know what happens!

Ruchel

Tue, May 30 2017, 6:15 am

Women never make mistakes? Pea brains, seriously? Like, Einstein or Rashi right? The man hating is out of control. But say a hundredth on women and you are sexist.

Seas

Tue, May 30 2017, 6:41 am

Ruchel wrote:

Women never make mistakes? Pea brains, seriously? Like, Einstein or Rashi right? The man hating is out of control. But say a hundredth on women and you are sexist.

My thoughts too, but then I realized her words were a result of her difficulties with her own husband.

OP,
It's a serious shaila. Please don't dismiss it on the say so of some posters here. The good news is that unless some pots or dishes were earthenware, they can probably all be kashered (though not in time for tonight).