My 12 year old son acts like he's 4

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

Goldenrod

Tue, May 05 2015, 10:30 pm

So my 12 year old son has some incredibly gross habits that are making me crazy. First of all if I don't force him to take a shower, he'll never take one. It doesn't matter how hot or sweaty he is. He would prefer to put his face against the air conditioner and dry the sweat rather than shower. He also hardly ever changes his underwear. When I do the laundry I often don't have to wash his underwear since he's still wearing the same pair from 3 days ago. I remind him, reward him, yell at him, explain it to him-all to no avail. Help!

Mimisinger

Tue, May 05 2015, 10:48 pm

He sounds like a teenage boy to me. There have been other threads about it.

rosenbal

Wed, May 06 2015, 12:03 am

I hear horror stories of boys never showering or changing underwear in sleepover camp lol!

Listen, behavior change is most effective when worked on with positive reinforcement. Is there some experience/item your child really wants? Trip to amusement park or baseball game? Lego set? Whatever. Have him earn it with an incentive chart.

Have clear expectations. Start off easy, make it easy to succeed. Ex: he must shower x times per week (don't make it everyday for now!), put on deodorant daily and change underwear every night (or start off a few times a week if this is really hard for him). One calm reminder from you ok. If have to nag or he doesn't do it...no checkmark. Do lots of positive praise as well (not in a babyish way though). Hatzlacha!

P.S. don't nag or criticise, it reinforces the behavior you dont want! Focus on positive and IGNORE the negative.

Notsobusy

Wed, May 06 2015, 12:06 am

Sounds very normal. Those are usually the same boys that, a few years later, end up showering multiple times a day. Very Happy

FranticFrummie

Wed, May 06 2015, 12:19 am

glutenless wrote:

Sounds very normal. Those are usually the same boys that, a few years later, end up showering multiple times a day. Very Happy

Or not. I've read plenty of posts from amothers who's DH doesn't shower or use deodorant, doesn't brush his teeth, and has cholent stains on his shirts all week. They keep saying "Why didn't his mother teach him better!"

Keep up the good work OP. Mothers are the civilizing force in the world. If it weren't for us, we'd all be living in caves like wild animals.

heidi

Wed, May 06 2015, 12:52 am

Teenage boy!!!
I have several!
Believe me, you will find yourself saying things you never thought you would. "Brush your teeth. With toothpaste this time." "You cannot possibly wash your entire body and hair in 30 seconds. Get back in there and this time use shampoo." "You are a growing up. You need to use deodorant. Yes, every day. Yes, even when you're tired in the morning."
Good Luck!!!
Mine are growing up and slowly, very slowly, becoming more hygienic.
I don't really agree with the poster who said to make sure he doesn't become a man with unhygienic habits. Those posts sounded to me like someone with depression. All the men I know seem to understand about showering etc.

heidi

Wed, May 06 2015, 12:52 am

Oh, I forgot, "why do I have to shower, I showered before Shabbos" on Sunday.

amother

Brunette

Sun, Jun 04 2017, 10:47 am

I see this is an old thread. Did he improve dramatically? After therapy for several issues when young and coaching when older and our own effort (maybe I should have done more) my son is not better and he is 23. I had to use unconventional methods recently. You can PM me if you want to hear a little more. Write anon again and ill give you my info

Page 1 of 1