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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
amother
Ivory
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Sun, Jun 04 2017, 2:43 am
Not quite sure which forum to put this in but here goes:
A couple of years ago we moved to a different country. It was mainly because DH was unhappy where we were and I needed a lot of convincing including from my in laws. Part of the discussion and reassurance was that we would sell our house, rent at first and then buy within the first couple of years with help from my in laws (prices here are higher than where we were).
DH works with his brother and father now. A good opportunity has come up to buy in a great location (not cheap but bigger than any other property going at that price). In order to buy, father in law and brother in law both need to be involved. However, DH says he doesn't want to discuss it with them now because there are some things going on at work that aren't going so well and he doesn't feel comfortable asking them for money.
Father in law had a conversation with DH at the beginning of the year saying that he hopes we'll buy something this year. He knows we're looking and that this is all part of the arrangement. I feel like if we miss this opportunity he would be upset that we missed it because where we are things like this don't come up every day. On the other hand, I understand DH feeling uncomfortable discussing this right now. He would speak to them based on my argument that they know we're looking now etc etc but I don't want him to speak only to make me happy. I just feel it's an amazing opportunity that we could miss...
Do I just need to come to terms with this or should we try our luck? I guess they could just say no, not now, which is fine but I also don't want us coming across as entitled which I really hope we aren't... WWYD?
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amother
Lemon
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Sun, Jun 04 2017, 8:18 am
Any way you can do the arrangements for the house with your mil and not fil or is she not like that?
Also, my dh also works with my fil - things sometimes get sticky at work but we still eat at each others houses on Shabbos and things like that. maybe have a family bbq on sunday afternoon, invite them over, make sure work doesn't come up and then mention it and see what they say...
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amother
Navy
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Sun, Jun 04 2017, 9:26 am
If you can discuss it as a possibility and without a lot of expectation, I think it can't hurt to bring it up, can know at least that you tried & if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. At least you can leave the door open so if it is bashert, it will work out. But if it doesn't, realize that it was bashert also (& don't hold it against your husband's family - that didn't keep what they said they would, just realize that something else will I"YH come up at the right time). Hatzlacha Rabba - I hope it works out!
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amother
Ivory
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Sun, Jun 04 2017, 11:50 am
Thanks for your replies. MIL is not involved so can't go that route but I seem to have gotten through to DH to at least bring it up. I was just hoping that I wasn't pushing for something that really wasn't appropriate but you're right; I think we'll regret it if we don't at least try.
Thanks again.
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