Phobia of dogs REALLY affecting my life. HELP

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Miscellaneous

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

calaflower

Thu, Jun 08 2017, 8:25 am

My phobia of dogs feels like it's interfering in my life now way too much.
I used to love going on hikes with my family, and although I was never comfortable getting too close to dogs, it never stopped me. Now, before we go anywhere, I think to myself whether or not there will be dogs there. If so, I won't go.
If I'm waking down the block and I see a dog is walking with its owner, I'll cross the street.
I know it's not good. My kids have always been worse than me when it comes to this, and for their sake and mine, I have to deal with this.
My question is: do I need to see a therapist specifically (bc I don't have the time or money to do that right now) or is there another method- tried and true- that I can follow?
Anyone ever deal with this before? What helped?
Thank you!!!!

DallasIma

Thu, Jun 08 2017, 8:41 am

This is me, totally. Following. And thank you for posting.

FranticFrummie

Thu, Jun 08 2017, 8:46 am

PM sent. I can help.

I used to be terrified of dogs, and now I'm a big dog lover. I can't say you'll ever love dogs, but you can learn to stay calm around strange dogs, and your friend's pets.

mommy3b2c

Thu, Jun 08 2017, 8:56 am

I love dogs, so I literally cannot comprehend the phobia, but maybe if you go to an animal shelter and stand close to the dogs when they are in cages? Or go to a pet store and pet the tiny puppies?

Sadie

Thu, Jun 08 2017, 9:15 am

mommy3b2c wrote:

I love dogs, so I literally cannot comprehend the phobia, but maybe if you go to an animal shelter and stand close to the dogs when they are in cages? Or go to a pet store and pet the tiny puppies?

A shelter will usually have a lot of lot of barking and stressed out animals, so even though it's safe it probably will increase her stress. Starting with puppies is a good idea. There are also organizations that train therapy dogs for kids and guide dogs, maybe OP could get a prescription from a therapist to spend time with a dog like that (there is a such a thing as a prescription for a dog!)

benny

Thu, Jun 08 2017, 9:29 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

PM sent. I can help.

I used to be terrified of dogs, and now I'm a big dog lover. I can't say you'll ever love dogs, but you can learn to stay calm around strange dogs, and your friend's pets.

Can you please pm me as well? Same issue. Thanks!

FranticFrummie

Thu, Jun 08 2017, 9:41 am

PM's sent!

I've gone to frum schools to teach dog safety to kids, and had Chassidish people send their kids to my house to get over their fears.

Anyone else?

Thu, Jun 08 2017, 10:35 am

I don't have a phobia of dogs, but I'm not overly fond of them. I don't know how to overcome a phobia, but it is possible to control your environment to minimize the stress.

For example, before going to someone's house, ask if they have a dog. If so, politely request that the dog stay in another room during your visit. Dog lovers don't seem to mind - in fact, they often offer to do so (that's how I got the idea).

If you are hiking and see a dog off-leash, assertively call out to the owner "Please hold on to your dog until my family passes by. Thank you."

And so on. I hope this helps.

Violet123

Thu, Jun 08 2017, 10:49 am

Ok.
Where do I start?I used to cross the street too.
Now I cross the street to pet a dog.
I used to be PETRIFIED of dogs.
Our daughter has a medical condition and we now have a dog
I can say I really love dogs now
For a long time I actually wanted to help people to get over their fear of dogs for now definitely as a chesed.
cuz I know how embarrassing and debilitating it is to be afraid.
Please,please please PM me if you're interested.
I would love to help anyone I can

agreer

Thu, Jun 08 2017, 2:30 pm

I had a much more intense phobia and it has lessend now, but I am still afraid.

If you go to therapy, the most likely tool used would be systematic desensitization or exposure therapy.

You can do it on your own if you have a friend with a dog that is willing to help. You do not need to go to a random shelter/park with strangers. Do it with a friend.

Note: These steps are my baby steps but you can break them up any way you feel comfortable. You can do them all in one day or in a few days (I would recommend a few days and then continued exposure for maintenance).

Step 1: have friend hold the dog. See how uncomfortable you feel. See how long you can talk to friend with her holding the dog.

Next step: Pet the dog while friend is holding the dog.

Next step: Have friend hold dog on leash. Let dog come near you.

Next step: You go near dog and pet while on leash.

Next step: Dog is off leash but friend controls/makes sure that dog does not come near you, but in the same room.

Next step: Friend lets dog roam free.

You can do as many of the steps as you like. You can add your own or do more/fewer steps as your fear allows.

I had a good friend that helped me do this, and it was very effective, but then I haven't seen her dog in a while and my phobia returned, but it's not as intense.

Hatzlacha!!!

FranticFrummie

Thu, Jun 08 2017, 3:34 pm

I don't offer any exposure therapy if you're not ready for it yet. Severe phobias take a lot of background work before you can get there.

I offer Torah perspectives based on how the Zohar discusses dogs, practial tips on how to behave around dogs, and emotional support. Reframing your thoughts is a powerful tool, and when done right, you only need to do a bare minimum of exposure to get past this.

MrsDuby

Thu, Jun 08 2017, 4:15 pm

I recommend CBT - which (simply) like the above mother suggested, you slowly work your way up. First you work on looking at a picture of a dog... then touching the picture of the dog... and you desensitize yourself to the situation. Work slowly in baby steps. Thats one method.

I also recommend (and you can do both at hte same time) is EFT tapping ... if you go to youtube you can find tapping videos you can follow along about phobias of all kinds ... (or you can find a pracitioner but theyre usually extremely expensive)

dont feel bad - everyone has their "thing" ... but you should know its something that can be healed.

Good luck !!

BSD1

Thu, Jun 08 2017, 4:52 pm

A CBT therapist is your answer. If you do the HW after each session you will likely be cured :-). Imagine that!

BSD1

Thu, Jun 08 2017, 4:58 pm

Just read the full thread-- agreer's post is how you would do CBT on your own-- if you do that you can potentially achieve the same results as those in treatment with a therapist.

Last edited by BSD1 on Thu, Jun 08 2017, 5:01 pm; edited 1 time in total

sequoia

Thu, Jun 08 2017, 4:59 pm

I found this thread amusing because I love dogs.

Then I imagined applying all this advice to my own phobia.

Nooooo.....

calaflower

Thu, Jun 08 2017, 11:02 pm

Wow I really appreciate everyone's responses! I have a lot to think about. Just to be clear I actually like dogs- I like the idea of them and I think many of them are really cute. My problem is getting too close to them and the fact that I for some irrational reason feel that they will do me bodily harm- and honestly their bark scares me as well- even when trying to be playful.

newface34

Thu, Jun 08 2017, 11:16 pm

I have dogs if you'd like to slowly come get used to them. They are very friendly and I can easily pick them up so I have more control over them. Brooklyn.

Violet123

Thu, Jun 08 2017, 11:27 pm

I would really really love to help anyone with a fear of dogs. BTDT
Monsey.

calaflower

Thu, Jun 08 2017, 11:54 pm

agreer wrote:

thank you! I think part of it is also how unpredictable animals can be. So if it's a friend/relative, I know I'll be safe. I know the dog is trained, and the owner is someone I trust. But what about the dogs on the street? The owners and dogs I don't know?
Don't get me wrong- I don't know how I'll get through those steps even with a friend, but I worry what the next step would be.

FranticFrummie

Fri, Jun 09 2017, 1:42 am

calaflower wrote:

Dogs are extremely predictable, if you learn how to read their body language. They are signaling their feelings to the world every second of the day. Even a dog with CVS rabies acts in a very specific manner that is pretty easy to recognize, once you know the signs.

That's a big part of what I teach about dog safety. Most people get in trouble when they misunderstand what the dog is trying to tell them. For example, perked up ears and a wagging tail do not always mean "I'm happy to see you". I depends on the set of the ears, and how high or low the tail is being carried.

It's not enough to just "face your fear", you need practical advice on how to evaluate the situation. Knowlege is power, and power is what overcomes your fear.

Page 1 of 1