Kids fight all day! Need advice to stay sane!

amother

Black

Wed, Jun 21 2017, 4:26 pm

My 8yr old DD who is borderline autistic and ADD fights constantly with my 5 yr old DS. I literally cannot get 2 minutes of a break from them fighting. My son has tantrums and burst out crying from every little thing. I snap at them all day because I have lost all my patience. Im so j of my neighbors kids who seem so we'll behaved and calm. My kids have an attention span of max 5 min and constantly complain they r board. They also wake up crazy early and this def doesn't help! I have tried pushing off their bedtime so they wud sleep later but no matter what they r up by 5! Any advice? Im losing my mind!

amother

Cobalt

Wed, Jun 21 2017, 7:26 pm

is your dd on meds. that should help. hugs to you. I have a child with adhd. I know mine got much better because of meds

your dd has probably very little coping mechanisms how to deal with frustration and negotiation. that is typical of adhd. add autism to the mix and it gets worse. im just explaining. I dont have any ideas.

except that your child thats five does this child also have issues? dont forget its hard for that child too. your dd is getting her way or not understanding and this other child needs help too.

one thing I learned is that the calmer you are and can figure out solutions the better the atmosphere. and your dd needs meds. it will be so much better for everyone including you and its a life changing.

anonymrs

Wed, Jun 21 2017, 7:48 pm

For me, the only way to cope is to have a schedule of activities to keep everyone busy THE ENTIRE DAY. No moments of dead time, otherwise the complaining, bickering, and fighting begins. It's so hard but so worth it.

The way I look at it is I have a choice; either work hard keeping them busy or work hard dealing with the fighting. I choose the first.

Good luck!!

amother

Brunette

Wed, Jun 21 2017, 7:49 pm

I don't have advice, just want to let you know that you are not alone! I have three young children, close in age, and they fight constantly. I literally cannot leave them alone to go to the bathroom for 30 seconds. And I am not exaggerating one bit. It's been like that since my second one was born, 3 years ago, so I'm used to it by now... I try my best to channel their energy into outdoor activities - but it's extremely hard. My sanity is kept intact by the fact that I have a full time desk job, where I have peace and quiet, and I just brace myself for craziness once I arrive at home. My kids are also up at 5.

Pickle1

Wed, Jun 21 2017, 11:05 pm

my kids are regular kids - and the book 'siblings without rivlary' by adele faber - was lifechanging for me. its fun to read - and her tips really work! not gonna say they never fight - but I have all the tools to resolve them, and prevent them so they are much fewer and far between

FranticFrummie

Wed, Jun 21 2017, 11:08 pm

I saw a group bonding thing with siblings on Super Nanny. She got some zip ties, and handcuffed the kids together. They couldn't go anything without the other kid's help. It was funny, and it made them get creative with cooperation.

daagahminayin

Wed, Jun 21 2017, 11:13 pm

Visit your "happy place" inside your mind whenever things are really crazy. Mine's a beach. My husband's is a log cabin in the mountains. If you don't know where yours is, spend some time discovering it - the place where you feel calm, centered and safe. Take some deep breaths and know that all is well in your world.

This is where we go when our kids are screaming and we're losing our sanity. Doesn't help them but it helps us Smile

Ruchel

Thu, Jun 22 2017, 4:32 am

Separate. Reward. Punish.
"I'll punish everyone unless you work it out" works. Of course not when there's a real problem. But it seems 99% it isn't.