Possible to have young kids,clean house, no yelling?

amother

Saddlebrown

Wed, Jun 21 2017, 10:37 pm

amother wrote:

My dh printed out a piece of paper on my fridge that has the following on it:

it has a big triangle
top point says MY SANITY
bottom left point says HAPPY KIDS
bottom right says CLEAN HOUSE

and in huge letters says PICK TWO.

Love it!
Though on second thought, picking 2 is a pretty tall order!

And to answer ops question from my point of view: ya totally possible to have clean house- for about 2 minutes a day!

Alot of it depends on children's personality and how much you're out of the house or working in the house, plus if and how much you have cleaning/babysitting help or husband pitching in.

Another thing, how much junk/clutter is in the house compared to amount of space/closets.

A big one: are kids able to self entertain and how easily they have access to unpack/ mess up etc.

GENES!!!! (My kids didn't get those) some kids are just naturally perfect and will clean up after themselves from a very young age and of course not make such a mess to begin with.

Last edited by amother on Mon, Jun 11 2018, 1:02 am; edited 1 time in total

chocolatecake

Wed, Jun 21 2017, 10:37 pm

This thread makes me feel good. I have three kids age 4 2 and ten months. Cant have everything. There is literally no point in cleaning up the baby toys till she is asleep. She can mess up faster than I can clean.

lucky14

Wed, Jun 21 2017, 10:48 pm

Tzutzie wrote:

No it's not. Unless you have only one baby and you are a sahm Smile

Well that sure makes me feel crummy... I'm a SAHM with only one and my house is always a mess Sad

I don't understand how people with more kids do it. I'd either have to ignore my child in order to clean during the day or sleep only a couple hours a night. There's so many house chores to do! Unfortunately my house was unorganized to begin with and now it's only playing catch-up to the mess (which is the real problem I know. I'm trying to throw out and organize everything, but I only have enough time just to clean up the days mess and do the other chores).

justforfun87

Thu, Jun 22 2017, 5:13 am

I have four friends who I can think of who have cleaner houses than me...
1. Very wealthy, doesn't work and has cleaning ladies after housing shabbos guests!
2. Doesn't work, no kids home and just a neat person in general.
3. Works but has one child who is 8 and is obsessive compulsive about cleanliness.
4. Works but stays up until past midnight with husband cleaning up.

Everyone else basically lives in a mess!

Tzutzie

Thu, Jun 22 2017, 8:24 am

lucky14 wrote:

Well that sure makes me feel crummy... I'm a SAHM with only one and my house is always a mess Sad

Hey! I said it's possible, not that is expected. There are a select few superwomen who can, the overwhelming majority of us who aren't should, just deal with it move on.

Or you can be like my sisters mil, she has a kitchen in her basement where she does all the cooking and leaves the mess, then serves and hosts in her upstairs elegant kitchen.
Bizarre.

amother

Chocolate

Thu, Jun 22 2017, 9:15 am

lucky14 wrote:

Well that sure makes me feel crummy... I'm a SAHM with only one and my house is always a mess Sad

Don't feel crummy!!
When I had one and was a sahm, the house was a mess. First, we had all these new gifts and paraphernalia laying around the apartment until I could deal with it.
Then I had dishes and laundry that didn't get done, because I didn't have time- I was nursing or sleeping etc
Then baby got older and began to eat and make a mess...
Things did not improve until we moved into a house, which I find easier to clean.
(I have cleaning help twice a week, and it was still impossible to keep my apartment clean!)

amother

Slateblue

Thu, Jun 22 2017, 11:01 am

I'm gonna be the odd one out here... besides for between 3:30-8ish my house is always spotless. It bothers me so much to have a mess, dishes in the sink, toys out etc. Don't have a baby at home now (my kids are 6, 5, and 3) but I'm due soon and my house has always been like this even with kids at home.

I have cleaning help once a week, she does all the scrubbing, toilets, mopping etc. I don't work. I cannot unwind at the end of the day unless the house is perfectly clean, and first thing I do after my kids leave for school in the morn is clean up from breakfast, make beds, pack away whatever came out since the night before.

When my kids are home and up, aprox 3:30-8 there's definitely a mess but because it's not days worth of dishes and toys it takes me max an hour to clean up.

mommy3b2c

Thu, Jun 22 2017, 11:08 am

amother wrote:

My house is also pretty clean during the day. That doesn't count.

amother

Crimson

Thu, Jun 22 2017, 11:24 am

This thread was so validating!
My house is always a mess except for the days the cleaning lady comes, if my kids play outside afterward.
I work nights, so no cleaning up after my kids go to sleep and while I try to sweep and clean a little each morning, I'm usually too busy with appointments, laundry or cooking.
A good dinner and clean clothing are my priorities.
I have a friend whose house is always clean because she barely cooks and another one who hardly sleeps and will stay up to 3am cleaning.

amother

Ivory

Thu, Jun 22 2017, 11:58 am

My house is clean but messy, except right after the cleaning lady comes.

When my friend's DH got a huge promotion the first thing she did was get a housekeeper to come for 2 hours each morning after the kids left for school to "reset" the house. To her this was the ultimate luxury.

I'm currently trying to get rid of 1/3 of our possessions or so in the hopes that it will be easier to keep tidy if we have less stuff. DH is not a hoarder but likes to hold on to things that I think we are ready to pass on.

I also find that summer is harder because kids are home more hours and make mess. I wish I did better at insisting they clean up more.

Tzutzie

Thu, Jun 22 2017, 4:18 pm

amother wrote:

My sil does that, she has a cleaning lady every morning and a relative as a paid housekeeper / nanny that does the laundry and cooking and takes the kids that come home before her off the bus.....

And her house STILL isn't spotless.

Also, I find that after I purged, it was a LOT easier to keep my house clean.
My motto is "every item / possession in my house, needs to have a home - a designated place- if it doesn't have a home, it doesn't belong in my house.

But now I live in an apt with very little odd storage. Iyh when we move, it'll be a lot easier .

shnitzel

Thu, Jun 22 2017, 7:17 pm

Sure it is. While the kids are sleeping.

What I have found to help massively is to donate as much stuff as you can, the less stuff you have the less there is to clean. I also started doing a toy rotation. I don't have a ton of toys accessible at once and I rotate which ones are out, I also find the kids enjoy playing so much more this way because they are constantly rediscovering their toys.

LittleDucky

Thu, Jun 22 2017, 7:59 pm

So validating!! Thanks Imamother!!!
I don't have the inner natural ability to keep my place clean... I have gotten better over the years and moving to a bigger place has helped as there is more closet space. Also what has helped is making a concerted effort to NOT buy something unless I have a real need and a place for it (Also has helped our bottom $$ line!).
I feel I cannot keep on top of my kids toys- I organized them all into different containers, labeled with pictures/words, and within a week they were back into a huge mess. ARG! And the crumbs!

gold21

Thu, Jun 22 2017, 8:21 pm

Seriously wrote:

Maybe not possible

Please prioritize not yelling over a clean house

It's funny, so on Imamother many posters claim they never yell, but in real life everyone I know admits to yelling from time to time. I myself yell from time to time. I'm not talking about verbal abuse, I'm talking about "I said to stay in bed!" Or "stop fighting already!" Yeah, a little bit of yelling is NORMAL and perfectly okay. Maybe not on Imamother but in real life. Lol. Honestly, just thinking about it now, some of the best moms I know (dedicated, fully engaged, loving, confidence boosting...) get frustrated and yell sometimes.

Honestly, a clean house is very important to me and I work hard to control the chaos. That doesn't mean it's actually clean and neat, lol, but it isn't totally out of control. And I think that seder v'nikayon is important to a certain extent, within reason obviously... I mean, my house is always messy when my kids are around, but I do make an effort to clean up and do my best to maintain some semblance of order.
Tongue Out

Super Mom

Fri, Jun 23 2017, 4:55 am

I couple of rules for my kids helps. Only food and drink while sitting at the table. They must clear their own place after. Put the toy away before getting another one. Get undressed next to the laundry basket. They tidy their rooms before shabbat. No eating in the car. It's still a struggle but manageable.