Wwyd, so disappointed

amother

Navy

Wed, Jul 05 2017, 1:51 pm

My dd went to camp last week with a friend in her class and other friends that my dd knew from previous summers. I just found out that my dd's friend from her class is miserable and begging to be sent back home because she feels lonely and is being left out, no one is outright mean to her but she is not being included somehow. This girl has been to camp before and never had this problem. I have heard from my dd and she sounded very happy so I didn't know this was happening, the girls mother met me and told me. I am so sad and disappointed and don't know if there is anything I can do to help the situation, these girls are going into 11th grade and I know this type of thing is "normal", but please tell me any suggestions on how to handle it. I realize that my dd is not to blame since she is just friends with the other girls and probably part of a group that is leaving out this other girl, but I can't help feel that my dd should be doing her part so that this girl isn't left out so much and miserable!

allthingsblue

Wed, Jul 05 2017, 1:58 pm

Well, yes, she should be doing her part! You're right, she isn't [solely] to blame, but maybe you can talk to her and see how she feels about what's going on, if she notices, and if she can make the effort to reach out to this girl.

amother

Navy

Wed, Jul 05 2017, 2:03 pm

I will try to call as soon as there are calling hours, would still appreciate any help on how to approach this. I kinda just wanna tell her to STOP IT! Just want to add that my dd is a very sweet girl but the rest of the group is from out of town and they all know each other and knew my dd and not this other girl Sad

amother

Burlywood

Wed, Jul 05 2017, 2:07 pm

I would let DD know that you heard her friend is unhappy, give her some encouraging mussar on how friends need to look out for each other.. and then leave it.

octopus

Wed, Jul 05 2017, 2:18 pm

You sound like a wonderful mother. How many times have I heard that a mother won't "get involved." You can't control your daughter, but you can encourage her to be more attuned to others. It's a wonderful chinuch opportunity, whether your daughter listens or not, as she will always have this situation as a measuring stick as to what her mother's expectations are.

Miri7

Wed, Jul 05 2017, 3:52 pm

Often camps have "camp moms" or some position like that whom parents can call. If she knows about this she can then take it to th counselors, who can help encourage the group to being more inclusive. Good counselors are good at dealing with this sort of thing.

marina

Wed, Jul 05 2017, 8:00 pm

octopus wrote:

This. OP, definitely let you daughter know what is going on and encourage her to show kindness so that when this girl looks back on this dark summer for her, at least your daughter will be remember as a ray of sunlight.