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Update:One month old baby only likes to sleep in our bed
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amother
Babypink


 

Post Tue, Jul 11 2017, 8:14 am
amother wrote:
Are you speaking from experience? In my experience (and I have a number of kids BH), child rearing is full of challenges, and most of the time it doesn't seem to matter whether a habit is changed a few months earlier or a few months later. That goes for sleep arrangements, nursing, bottles, pacifiers, toilet training, naps... Childhood is by definition constantly evolving. So yeah, changes are made all the time. Unless there is a particular reason to make this change now, don't worry about it. He resists sleeping alone now, and he will resist it later too (probably). At least later it will be only a habit, and not necessarily as much of a true need in addition to a habit, as it is now.



yes I am speaking from experience, have a few kids BH
while I agree with you 100% that childhood is constantly evolving and babies and kids change all the time, in regard to sleep I found that the 'hardest' challenge
I had that exact experience with my oldest- she was in my bed when she was a few weeks old, I kept her there bc she craved it and needed to be close, but we hard a really hard time transitioning her to her own crib when I realized that I wasn't so happy with a baby in my bed anymore.

im not saying to not listen to your baby and do what they need, rather to just look at the whole picture (of sleeping) especially if the parent is not happy about the situation
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amother
Burlywood


 

Post Tue, Jul 11 2017, 8:16 am
amother wrote:
yes I am speaking from experience, have a few kids BH
while I agree with you 100% that childhood is constantly evolving and babies and kids change all the time, in regard to sleep I found that the 'hardest' challenge
I had that exact experience with my oldest- she was in my bed when she was a few weeks old, I kept her there bc she craved it and needed to be close, but we hard a really hard time transitioning her to her own crib when I realized that I wasn't so happy with a baby in my bed anymore.

im not saying to not listen to your baby and do what they need, rather to just look at the whole picture (of sleeping) especially if the parent is not happy about the situation


So please advise me (I'm op)!
I want my baby to be happy and comfortable. But I'd prefer he sleep in his own crib. How do I get to that?
(Although I did just order a cosleeper because these posts have been making me feel guilty...)
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amother
Azure


 

Post Tue, Jul 11 2017, 8:18 am
He's unable to regulate on his own because his nervous system is still developing. Smart baby, asking for what he needs. Let him sleep with you until he's ready to transition to his own place.
If you absolutely can't have him sleep with you, then sleep with his sheet so your smell transfers to his sheet. I don't know if it will satisfy him because a sheet doesn't have body heat, but worth a try. Infants have such underdeveloped nervous systems, they need all the PHYSICAL security they can get. Once they get their fill, they're ready to move on. If you deprive him of his physical security needs, he may take a lot longer to feel safe in his body and be able to move on to the next milestone.
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amother
Azure


 

Post Tue, Jul 11 2017, 8:21 am
I want to add that when an infant feels physically safe in the arms and body of his protectors/caretakers, he is able to use his energy to develop. If he's not feeling the safety he needs, his ability to develop in other areas is diminished.
Birth is a traumatic experience for many infants, and having lots and lots of physical contact helps to soothe and reset the nervous system.
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amother
Tan


 

Post Tue, Jul 11 2017, 10:56 am
borrowed a cosleeper. it seemed like a good compromise instead of doing bedsharing. now I am happy that I didnt buy. my baby is now 7 weeks old and refuses -mostly- to use it. instead baby prefers to sleep next to me. or in a carrier. (but I'm ok with it)
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amother
Babypink


 

Post Tue, Jul 11 2017, 11:28 am
amother wrote:
So please advise me (I'm op)!
I want my baby to be happy and comfortable. But I'd prefer he sleep in his own crib. How do I get to that?
(Although I did just order a cosleeper because these posts have been making me feel guilty...)


dont feel guilty! you have to do what works for you! keep in mind your baby is only 1 month old and thats still very tiny. he will change so many times and go through so many different stages
what is are you putting him in when he goes down for the night? is he happy there for those few hours? is he next to you ?

I loved the cosleeper
the rock n play is amazing also

good luck
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amother
Pearl


 

Post Tue, Jul 11 2017, 11:46 am
My newborn sleeps for 4-5 hours at a time when she's in my bed. When she sleeps in her bassinet she wants to eat every hour. But I was told that having her sleep in my bed increases the risk of SIDS and I see the AAP has strict guidelines on safe cosleeping that I believe excludes bed-sharing Sad
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baschabad




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 11 2017, 12:17 pm
I know about the recommendations for baby sleep and I coslept with all my kids anyway. I read about safe co-sleeping, and I know that I am personally very conscious of the baby's presence in my bed to know that it is a safe sleeping situation. My husband would not co-sleep with the babies for example. Having no other experience, I can't say for sure that my children were happier this way, but I know that it was most convenient for nursing, and never interrupted my sleep.
Trust your gut and your instincts as a parent!
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shaqued_almond




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 11 2017, 12:56 pm
Hi, my baby is almost 2 months and I had similar issues. Here's what I did: I figured that baby had a lot of gas and in order to relieve his pain he would try to nurse. so I made sure only to nurse every 2-3 hours not for comfort. now I got a baby ktan baby carrier which got him used to sleep swaddeled. then I would swaddel him and hold him just asif he was in the carrier. once he fell asleep, off to the bed he went. also put some white noise while they are falling asleep
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amother
Burlywood


 

Post Tue, Jul 11 2017, 2:47 pm
amother wrote:
My newborn sleeps for 4-5 hours at a time when she's in my bed. When she sleeps in her bassinet she wants to eat every hour. But I was told that having her sleep in my bed increases the risk of SIDS and I see the AAP has strict guidelines on safe cosleeping that I believe excludes bed-sharing Sad


Op here. Same situation.
I just ordered a cosleeper to put on the bed, it seems to be a mini bassinet that prevents parents from rolling over onto baby, which would make it safer. We'll see if baby likes it.
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DREAMING




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 11 2017, 6:17 pm
Maybe try feeding in a chair and not in your bed? And putting baby down drowsy but still a bit awake
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lucky14




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 11 2017, 9:56 pm
Have you tried swaddling? Or some kind of vibrating bassinet? My child was comforted by those two things. Oh and white noise (we'd play youtube "sound" clips all night. now we just use a fan).

I disagree with those who are so strongly saying you should keep him in your bed. If you want to that's fine, but if you have strong reasons for wanting him to be able to sleep on his own then you should feel comfortable with trying to transition him even if he's "only" one month.
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amother
Fuchsia


 

Post Wed, Jul 12 2017, 12:02 am
amother wrote:
Op here. Same situation.
I just ordered a cosleeper to put on the bed, it seems to be a mini bassinet that prevents parents from rolling over onto baby, which would make it safer. We'll see if baby likes it.

As long as your being safe about it, it's fine. the first few months of life are hard on the baby and being next to u is so comforting. Just be safe.
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amother
Burlywood


 

Post Wed, Jul 12 2017, 4:20 am
Last night I was all ready to have him on my bed, no expectations of anything else... But I fed him later than usual (9 pm) and he fell asleep, so I put him in his crib. He slept until 2! The. He woke, I fed him, and put him back in... He slept until 7!!!!
Maybe I have to put him in bed a little later? Or maybe this was a fluke...
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amother
Linen


 

Post Wed, Jul 12 2017, 4:54 am
Perhaps this is your first lesson in what I feel is the main thing I have learned through parenting.

You control nothing outside of yourself
Whatever you plan it will turn out differently
You can only do your best
And daven for good results
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