How to get your children to look where they are going?

amother

Maroon

Wed, Jul 12 2017, 2:36 pm

My darling dc has a tendency to not look where she is going. Her head will be turned sideways as she walks. She's very curious and likes to take everything in but it makes me crazy. Today she made it so that a man couldn't get through. She was holding on to both banisters and didn't see that there was someone right in front of her! I got so annoyed at her and now I feel bad Sad

LiLIsraeli

Wed, Jul 12 2017, 3:58 pm

This doesn't sound like a vision problem, but a behavioral one. Not to say this is uncommon or abnormal, but it sounds like she just needs to be reminded to face forward!

We have this chant in our house: "Eyes in front to look where you're going, then go where you're looking." I still have to remind my kids but hopefully it will sink in one day!

MMCH

Wed, Jul 12 2017, 8:43 pm

this made me laugh because you described my 4 year old!
especially the holding onto the banister part- that is her in a nutshell.
she also is clumsy and trips alot, or bangs into corners often.

I am always reminding her 'eyes forward!' watch where you are going

and yes, its all the curiosity she also has a million questions and notices every detail about things..

im assuming she will grow out of it.

yogabird

Wed, Jul 12 2017, 8:52 pm

There's a lot more to vision than just visual acuity (20/20) and just because she wears glasses doesn't mean her vision is great. What does she wear glasses for? Who prescribed them? It's easy to think of this as behavioral but she may also very well be lacking certain skills. Focusing is a skill, and filtering out what's all around a skill, and noticing what's around her and also in front of her is a skill. An OT, PT or vision therapist can assess her and help you figure out what's going on.

FranticFrummie

Wed, Jul 12 2017, 8:53 pm

I told DD "I know you know exactly where you are going, but you are little, and it's hard for people to see you. You need to watch for other people, so you don't get bumped into."

This worked well for crossing streets, too. "I know you're being careful, but it's really hard for the people in the cars to see you - and sometimes they are not paying attention! People in the cars might be drinking coffee, or talking on their phone, or playing around with the radio, and then BAM, you get squished like a bug!"

This became a game for her, and she loved pointing out "people who weren't watching where they were going" or talking on their cell phones while driving. She'd make a great traffic cop, because nothing got past her! LOL

ETA: this is part of developing Theory of Mind. DD thought that because SHE knew where she was going, that everyone else did, too. I had to explain to her that tall people have eyes up here, and her eyes were down there. If tall people are in a hurry, they won't be looking down to where she is, even though she can see the tall person just fine.

amother

Cobalt

Wed, Jul 12 2017, 10:38 pm

I was like that as a child. My sister's complaint that I was very hard to watch because I would just walk away without even noticing. Once when I was an 8th grader I walked into a poll while walking off the bus I was so embarrassed of my freinds that I started pressuring myself to be more focus. I still bump into things once in a while especially when I'm in a hurry. My kid have it to and it drives me nuts. ( Because when a child does it they don't even notice doing it but my son I watch it

)
No amount of pressure would help only if the child it self has once a real embarrassing episode that would wanna make him change.
Frummie I love your idea I will try it with my son.

amother

Rose

Thu, Jul 13 2017, 6:44 pm

My dd is like this. I was like this too. I did not outgrow it - in my case it's a combination of ADHD (everything is so much more interesting to look at) and dyspraxia (not having good control of where my body is in space). My daughter's PT and OT (unrelated to this) mentioned that it would have helped me to go for OT/PT when I was little. But just keep reminding them that they need to be aware of where they are and where other people are. My dd does this with so many things - when she washes her hands, she looks everywhere but at what she's doing, and usually ends up with a ton of soap still on them, it drives me crazy, but she's still young so I just remind her over and over. . . Even though I still have this problem a bit, it has significantly improved from when I wa a child, so even if not outgrown, it can get better. My parents acutally made me a reward chart for looking where I'm going o nthe stairs, because I fell on them at least 3 times a day. It worked great, actually, so a reward chart sometimes helps.

Funny story, my husband is also spacey this way, and while we were on a date, I was so absorbed in something across the street that I walked straight into a pole. And my husband was so focused on what he was saying that he didn't even notice that I walked into the pole! A match made in heaven Smile

We still constantly move each other out of people's way, but I don't think it interferes in our lives. Even if your daughter does this forever, her life (and the lives of others) won't be significantly impacted by the fact that people on the street have to say excuse me to her once in a while. So even if it annoys you, remember that it won't play a major role over the course of her life and she can be a happy, successful, functioning member of society anyway.