$3xual intimidation at work

amother

Wine

Thu, Jul 13 2017, 5:27 pm

Hi,

Because I'm still following an study at the university I sometimes work in the home care. Today something very bad happened... For the second time I went to this client and he made me feel very unsafe since the beginning. Today he asked me to come to his computer this men has a brain damage and is in his 50's on that screen I saw a nak3d woman who was ''pleasuring'' herself. This made me feel upset and I said ''I don't want to see this'' and I continued my work. When I wanted to begin with the laundry upstairs I saw something other confusing things.... I saw sxtoys in the sink this made me go away and I called my boss and she was glad I told this.
Now I'm blaming myself because I've learned some yichud last times. And yes I've been alone with this men, and yes the window was opened but it was not seethrough. I feel now a little mix between proud that I stood up from my self and brought myself into safety Baruch Hashem it went not furhter then that. And chas ve shalom I hope it will never happen to me again. So should I blame myself for yichud or something? I'm a caregiver, I feel guilty that man doesn't have clean laundry this week but I don't have to see such disturbing things...

I hope I will have a good night, and tomorrow I need to be at a woman an old woman. Most of the time they are nice but I wan't never go again to this men.

And like did this happens to someone in workingplace? I really need some spiritual things I've davend in silent to hashem for protecting me and I think He did He gave me the strength and the courage to ran away.

tichellady

Thu, Jul 13 2017, 5:57 pm

I don't understand the whole story but it sounds like you did nothing wrong and were put in a tough situation, told your boss and will not have to deal with that situation again ( and hopefully your boss will make sure to deal with it appropriately). I don't see why you need to blame yourself for anything. If your job entails working alone with strangers you should learn some safety tips- I don't have much experience with that situation so can't advise.

DrMom

Thu, Jul 13 2017, 11:43 pm

amother wrote:

Is this in anyway relevant? Are you suggesting a different response may be available if she is not American?

Maybe the question was supposed to mean "are you employed in the US?"

The intention being "will advice about US zxual harassment laws apply to your situation?"

amother

Wine

Fri, Jul 14 2017, 11:06 am

He OP here,

Since my hb s out of town and I will see him Sunday I don't want to bother him, but today I had a bad time. In the afternoon I had a very heavy panic attack and I went to my someone on my gallery she is a nurse a [cleaner] but she has great chochme so I went to her and she advised me to talk with my boss so I went to the office and I told I was in stress. They told me to go to my doctor and we talked about these things. She have managed this problem as well and she said it make here feel blemished... and that did hurt and its normal that the pain is coming afterwards like the stress is coming afterwards so I feel supported now and that is fine. For the record I'm not American I live in Europe and this client was mentally ill he had a brain injury and took a lot of medicines my doctor said: '' He did not put htese toys because he accidently forgot he did that out of a reaction, and why he wanted that reaction it is because of his disease and that is ok but he is crossing borders and you were brave to ran away and you should not blame yourself.'' That really helped me also told about her experiences that she acted very normal and good when a patient in her office wanted to several things iwth her and she sent him out of her office and afterwards she cried out load and asked her assistents coming over to give her support. For now I really need some safety some comforting.

amother

Ecru

Fri, Jul 14 2017, 11:15 am

DrMom wrote:

Maybe the question was supposed to mean "are you employed in the US?"

The intention being "will advice about US zxual harassment laws apply to your situation?"

Ok. Her employer told her she shouldn't go back. What laws would we be advising her on?

You are very kind to interpret the question that way.