 |
|
 |
 |
|
|
Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
|
amother
Aquamarine
|
 Sun, Jul 16 2017, 11:29 am
|
When I get an invite to a bday, kiddish or other gathering via WhatsApp I am happy to reply that we'll attend on the chat. But if I won't make it I always call with regrets. Now I'm making a party and the responses from those not attending are just a quick line like we can't come or hopefully for the next one. I feel so bad
| |
|
| Back to top |
 4
 2
|
|
amother
Mistyrose
|
Sun, Jul 16 2017, 11:31 am
|
Why? It seems totally reasonable to respond in the same form as the invitation.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
31
|
zaq
|
Sun, Jul 16 2017, 11:34 am
|
Why? They are responding in the same medium as they were invited, which is 100% correct. By inviting via this very informal medium you are setting the tone for the party and for responses. You are going above and beyond when you call to decline. That's admirable but in no way obligates others to follow suit.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
37
|
|
amother
Bisque
|
Sun, Jul 16 2017, 2:45 pm
|
Gosh - in my world people aren't always polite enough to sent regrets no matter what the medium of communication is.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
12
|
|
amother
Mustard
|
Mon, Jul 17 2017, 12:05 pm
| zaq wrote: | | Why? They are responding in the same medium as they were invited, which is 100% correct. By inviting via this very informal medium you are setting the tone for the party and for responses. You are going above and beyond when you call to decline. That's admirable but in no way obligates others to follow suit. |
It doesn't obligate others to follow suit but obligated or not I still think it's the right thing. I made a small simcha at my house and I appreciated the calls from people who couldn't make it. If they couldn't be there it made me feel good that they took the time to wish us mazel tov. I wouldn't expect a phone call from every neighbor or shul member who can't attend my child's wedding, but at a smaller family/ close friend affair or a hostess inviting to a simcha in her own home, making that call is for sure the mentchlich thing to do.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
DREAMING
|
Mon, Jul 17 2017, 12:51 pm
| amother wrote: | | It doesn't obligate others to follow suit but obligated or not I still think it's the right thing. I made a small simcha at my house and I appreciated the calls from people who couldn't make it. If they couldn't be there it made me feel good that they took the time to wish us mazel tov. I wouldn't expect a phone call from every neighbor or shul member who can't attend my child's wedding, but at a smaller family/ close friend affair or a hostess inviting to a simcha in her own home, making that call is for sure the mentchlich thing to do. |
If the invite is through WhatsApp it's perfectly ok to respond the same way
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
13
|
zaq
|
Mon, Jul 17 2017, 1:43 pm
OP, I had a high school friend Janice Rosen who had very strict standards of behavior. She went lifnim mishurat hadin on everything related to etiquette and thinking of the other person.If she was going to be two minutes late she'd call you before she left to let you know she'd be two minutes late. She was miffed that other people wouldn't bother calling unless they were going to be five minutes late. She wondered why they were so thoughtless and I told her "because they aren't Janice Rosen. But they don't have to be."
And I say to you that whereas amother aquamarine is showing the highest possible level of courtesy and thoughtfulness by making a personal phone call to decline a what'sapp invitation, other people don't, and they don't have to. The official rules of etiquette are that responses to accept OR decline are returned in the same format and medium as the invitation was sent. Call to invite, get a call to respond. What'sapp invite, what'sapp response. Engraved invitation in the mail, engraved response in the mail. Sorry if you're miffed that everyone doesn't do what you do, but the "right thing" is to follow the rules of etiquette. That you want to take it a step further says a lot in your favor; that you choose to be offended by people who are following the rules and not following your "chumrah" ...not so much.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
11
|
|
amother
Lavender
|
Mon, Jul 17 2017, 6:11 pm
| amother wrote: | | It doesn't obligate others to follow suit but obligated or not I still think it's the right thing. I made a small simcha at my house and I appreciated the calls from people who couldn't make it. If they couldn't be there it made me feel good that they took the time to wish us mazel tov. I wouldn't expect a phone call from every neighbor or shul member who can't attend my child's wedding, but at a smaller family/ close friend affair or a hostess inviting to a simcha in her own home, making that call is for sure the mentchlich thing to do. |
It must be a personal thing.
I think, If u can't come, dont call me up with your excuses.. I'm prepping for a simcha I have enough things to do...
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
4
|
WhatFor
|
Mon, Jul 17 2017, 7:39 pm
|
I would personally prefer to receive notification via Whatsapp and would assume that that's the inviter's preferred medium, especially as she chose to use that to contact me.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
3
|
|
amother
Denim
|
Tue, Jul 18 2017, 12:15 am
|
Yes. It's not polite to call to decline unless the invite was a phone call. It's annoying. Who has time for extra phone calls?
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
3
|
MiracleMama
|
Tue, Jul 18 2017, 12:20 am
| amother wrote: | | Gosh - in my world people aren't always polite enough to sent regrets no matter what the medium of communication is. |
My thoughts exactly.
Sometimes asking people to just reply "Y" or "N" in a whats ap or text group is like pulling teeth. Never mind email or paper invitations.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
Imamother may earn commission when you use our links to make a purchase.
© 2024 Imamother.com - All rights reserved
|  |
 |
|
 |
|
|
