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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
Teen dd in camp and anxiety is back



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amother
Magenta


 

Post Sun, Jul 09 2017, 8:22 pm
dd has been through the wringer with friends/ bullying/ learning differences, its been rough. She has had plenty of therapy and felt ready to go away to camp this summer. Already I got the phone call, from her about the nervous feelings that are cropping up and the doubts and the whats ifs and maybe she is just a homebody and maybe she wants to come home.
By the way dd chose this camp , albeit across the country, it has been around for years, well organized and a safe place. dd said the girls are nice, but at the end of the conversation she switched everything around in her head and said some are nice, some use foul language all the time and drives her nuts and some are the know it alls. ok- yeh- that is everywhere! I tried to explain to her- find your group and stick with them. I also tried to remind her of the techniques she learned about not letting the "whatif" seed start to grow- she needs to tell it- I am not listening to you and move on. It seems its worse when there is down time. I told her she needs to keep busy whenever she can.
Everything that was positive turned negative by the end of the conversation. I feel badly also, but I told her she needs to stick it out. There is nothing bad going on- except in her head. if she does not make it throught the summer I don't think she will have another fear to deal with. I told her to speak to her counselors or the head counselor, but make a relationship so she will have someone to talk to and help her guide. oy- its eating me up- don't know what else to do.
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amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Tue, Jul 18 2017, 6:15 am
My DD is calling me an average of 4 times a day.
How's your DD doin?
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 18 2017, 11:03 am
Unless DD is at serious risk for harm, she should tough it out.

https://www.popsugar.com/moms/.....age_1

My DD has severe anxiety and some OCD. I learned in therapy that all my mama bear instincts to protect her were only making her worse. I was reinforcing to her that she can run away from distressing feelings whenever she wants. I wanted to save her and protect her, but it ended up making her feel more and more out of control of her life.

PLEASE, tell your DD that she is capable of dealing with camp, and that you believe in her - no matter how negative she gets.

I'd give anything to be able to go back in time and do things differently with my DD. She's in full time therapy now.
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Tue, Jul 18 2017, 9:52 pm
amother wrote:
My DD is calling me an average of 4 times a day.
How's your DD doin?

I am so sorry to hear about your dd- Thankfully after a about 5 days, dd realized she needed to connect with different girls than the ones she first met and things are looking up. It could be that I told her she can't come home that gave her the quick in the pants she needed, even though she knew she wasn't coming home and I felt sick to my stomach saying it. Plus the programing made it easier to move to a different "crew" of girls. Most recently she called me and said she noticed another girl crying on to her parents on the phone and dd asked me how could help her since she knows what its like and wants her to have the best summer ever as well. I suggest to always do her best to call the girl over when in a group and help make her feel included.
Is your dd upset with the program or the girls or just misses her cozy room?
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amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Tue, Jul 18 2017, 10:10 pm
So happy for you and your DD OP.
My DD loooves every minute!! She really does. She is a very warm, excitable kid and wants to share every detail.
I don't think it's very healthy. I also don't think it's that terrible. If I am available, I talk. If not she talks to one of her siblings, filling them in on her exciting day.
I sent other kids who called me like, um, twice a week mostly. So, yes. I do see that she is much more homesick and vulnerable.
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