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Is it possible to live on this salary?
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amother
Yellow


 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2017, 6:34 pm
amother wrote:
Ive never had cleaning help (except for 1 full day before pesach) but it will free up my evenings since I can get the housework done during the day. Maybe I can get a job for an hour or two in the evening to earn a little money.
I can spend time cooking healthier and more nutritious meals because I'll have more time to cook.

And most importantly I can be a mommy and not have the guilt that hangs over my head that I'm having someone else raise my children.


Just so you know being home with a toddler and a baby (not sure how old you toddler is) all day does not always leave a lot of time during the day for working at home, cooking from scratch or cleaning. I find myself still with a lot of cleaning up and lunch prep etc in the evening.
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amother
Natural


 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2017, 9:06 pm
Op, I completely understand you. I wish I could be sahm too, but I have to work because I dont know how others manage(maybe relatives pay for their extras???) but my family is not able to manage with 78,000 a year. We don't pay full tuition but its high and we have to eat rice and beans/cheap food to be able to pay our bills. We don't even own a house can't afford dwnpayment and we don't send our kids to camp.

I dont know anyone who lives as frugal as everyone I know send their kids to camp, have hired help,get new sheitels etc. I'm not complaining but I would love to know how others do it.
So, I agree that you should Stay in your job because when you have to pay tuition for your older kids, how will you pay? You will have more expenses and in my kids schools, they ask about both spouses working before giving a discount.

Before others attack me I want to explain that I am a big believer in sahms but only if the dhs salary is enough for the expenses of the family. I wish I can stay home with my kids as I am out around 12 hours a day and I also work erev yomtov/Fridays regular days. I'm exhausted and stressed like you.
So, I just shared my experience and this has shaped my views. Op, after reading all the different views here, ultimately you'll decide to do what's best for you.

To the poster who said that "if your husband works that's hishtadlus and the money for tuition rent weddings etc will come..." well, this didn't work when I grew up. My mom was a sahm. My dad had a great job but with tuition and mortgage, we had no money for anything else and we were very poor. All my friends had 2 working parents.so, how do you know its enough hishtadlus if the dh only makes $78,000???with tuition nowadays, it eats majority of income!! How can you decide what's considered enough hishtadlus???if the dh is making $200,000 for a family of 3 kids, then its more reasonable to say that !!
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amother
Bisque


 

Post Fri, Jul 07 2017, 1:57 pm
amother wrote:
DH makes 78,000 salary. He also gets our full family health insurance paid and a company car with gas.
Is it possible for a family of 5 (3 kids) to live somewhat comfortably on this salary?
When I say comfortable I mean, frugal but not shopping at a thrift store. Chicken for supper but not steak or meat. We almost never eat out, etc..
When I add up our expenses it just doesn't make sense that his salary will cover all the bills.

Some rough numbers:
Mortgage with insurance $2000
Food $1000
Utilities $400
Tuition $500-600
Medical $150
None of this include the extras that come up every month but it's a start..

The reason I ask is because I have been working and making 50,000 and I am due soon with #3 and since I'll have 2 little kids not school age it doesn't make sense to spend $10-11 per hour for a babysitter whereas I was spending $6 per hour dropping off toddler at a babysitter.

It seems to make sense to quit my job as my full salary will end up going to babysitting but I have no idea how we can afford to live and pay our bills.



HI OP, I read pretty much the whole thread and I wonder if you live where I used to live... based on the cost of childcare and how you use the term Kindergarten - and K tuition...

It is hard place to live financially, but so are so many other places. When I was a PT working mother there with a few kids, I also really wanted to just quit and keep my preschoolers home, save babysitting/preschool costs, etc.... it is so much over there!

I don't know how to help you. I never quit, but my DH didn't make as much as yours. Maybe if you work on getting your grocery and basics bill down - no take out, chicken only on shabbos or maybe one more time a week. Don't buy everything in that one and only convenient frum grocery store across from the park... if you really are where I think you are LOL order basics in bulk from Dovs by the case or online? And then you need to find someway to take in more money - like a work from home job that is super flexible.

But doing both of those is hard. You will have 2 beH kids home all day and third after school hours and you won't have your nights to yourself with the baby beH and your night job and you will feel pressured. What is your DH's night schedule and availability to help at that point? And shopping around town with little ones is challenging too.

BTW, shopping at thrift shops isn't so bad. It saves a lot. And try to swap handmidowns. Or buy baby items at a consignment shop (better than thrift shops). Seriously, why not?
If you spend a lot on kids clothes and shoes, then you need to really look at all that and realize it isn't frugal.

Back to the fact that your schedule would be hard... Do you have any friends or neighbors who are home? Maybe you can have a rotation for a little break - she takes your toddler on Mondays and you take hers on Tuesdays - just for 2-3 hours or so so you each have a little break?

I am trying to think how to make this work.... I will luk if I think of anything else.

I do agree with PP that your emergency fund is not fully funded so I am nervous for you to quit... you need 3-6 months of expenses in an emergency fund.
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amother
Bisque


 

Post Fri, Jul 07 2017, 2:14 pm
OP, it's me again.

Can you work at your current job PT? or find a different part time job? If you don't know of any options like that, start asking around to a lot of people... office jobs are there, you just have to find them.

It will give your more time at home with your kids, and will decrease your childcare bills a lot and your take home pay might not change too much.

That's why I never worked full time, I just felt the numbers didn't add up and I didn't make that much less working PT due to all the childcare/babysitting savings.

Crunch the numbers and let me know if they look good to you.
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amother
Chartreuse


 

Post Fri, Jul 07 2017, 3:36 pm
I don't think 78K is enough, unfortunately :-(
Someone I know who lived extremely frugally and was a SAHM was not able to afford much in tuition. The tuition committee, (which is known in my city to be very reasonable) told the husband that the wife needed to go out and get a job. Be aware that that could happen to you too.
I like the idea of a part time job. I think it accomplishes a lot of things for you-keeps you in the workforce, cuts down on childcare costs, and shows the tuition committee that you are trying.
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amother
Taupe


 

Post Thu, Jul 27 2017, 10:20 am
Update: I decided to stay with my job. I'm a little sad about it but I think it's the only way we can keep afloat.
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amother
Burgundy


 

Post Thu, Jul 27 2017, 1:14 pm
amother wrote:
Update: I decided to stay with my job. I'm a little sad about it but I think it's the only way we can keep afloat.


Sounds like the right decision. Now you can try to see if you can build up savings etc to the extent that maybe you can cut down to part time in the future.
Hatzlacha!
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amother
Taupe


 

Post Thu, Jul 27 2017, 1:35 pm
amother wrote:
Sounds like the right decision. Now you can try to see if you can build up savings etc to the extent that maybe you can cut down to part time in the future.
Hatzlacha!


There's not enough for savings when I'm working, we are still extremely tight especially since we didn't qualify for a tuition discount.
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