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Does your toddler .....



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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Thu, Jul 27 2017, 6:34 pm
I am forced to work, so I am not home with my toddler. But, now everyone says my child needs therapy. He is supposed to know the basics like colors, shapes....such that he can pick up the correct toy/item following the directive...... as the therapists say.

So, I was wondering, to working women, how do your toddlers learn the basics?? I can spend time when I come home from work, but my toddler is so exhausted that she does not want to spend that much time listening/learning activities. My problem is that my babysitter does not teach my toddler these things. I talk to my toddler but I need a lot of time to teach her colors, shapes,and different things. For example, if the parent feeds the toddler a piece of grape, the parent would say "grape" or "you are eating a grape" and eventually the toddler learns the different names of the foods..... but if the babysitter does not talk like this, the toddler will not learn "as fast as therapists expect them to" just from the weekends.

If you put your toddler in daycare/learning program, I know they will learn these things, but I can't afford the tuition now.

To those women who work full time and have their toddlers home all day with a babysitter, how does your toddler learn all these "basics"? Does your babysitter sit with your toddler to teach him/her??It is frustrating for me because if I was home with my children, I would be teaching them all these important skills.
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amother
Blue


 

Post Thu, Jul 27 2017, 6:39 pm
What is your babysitter doing with your child? Do they interact at all?

ETA: I know doctor, who when I babysat him at 3.5 didn't know his colours. Some kids just take longer.
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MagentaYenta




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 27 2017, 6:41 pm
You've identified the source of your problem. A baby sitter who could care less about basic child development as it applies to a child in her care. Get a new one who knows developmental benchmarks and how to stimulate a child.

What does the current sitter do with your child? Do you even know?
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amother
Emerald


 

Post Thu, Jul 27 2017, 6:41 pm
Yes, my babysitter does all those things. She does pretty much exactly what I would do, except she's never on her phone and she has endless stores of patience embarrassed
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iammom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 27 2017, 6:46 pm
My toddler goes to a playgroup rather than a babysitter. All the kids are his age and while they are too young to be taught a lot of things, the Morah does age appropriate activities, stimulation and projects.

I'm not sure where you live but can you find a playgroup? Where I live, playgroups start at 12-18 months so it starts right when the kid needs to stimulation.
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21young




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 27 2017, 7:35 pm
Firstly, if a child needs therapy they might have been delayed whether you worked or not.
Ways you can now improve:
1. Get a new babysitter who interacts with the child, plays with him, etc. Often a good babysitter who isn't distracted with laundry, dinner, etc. can do a better job than a SAHM
2. Send him to playgroup where there are peers, a schedule, and more stimulation
3. Spend lots of time with him in the morning before work and on weekends
4. Get him the therapy he needs during hours that you or the babysitter are around and the caretakers should do the carry-over. Therapy a few times a week isn't going to make the difference, it's the day to day caretakers who have to do it, therapy is there to teach the caretakers what to do
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sarahmalka




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 27 2017, 7:40 pm
don't beat yourself up so much! Some kids are just delayed and it may have absolutely nothing to do with you working or your babysitter being lame. Start with the therapy and go from there.
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sarahmalka




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 27 2017, 7:41 pm
Also I'm surprised a babysitter is that much cheaper. Where I am, daycare is WAY cheaper than a private sitter.
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Thu, Jul 27 2017, 8:21 pm
Thanks for the replies. I am the op. The reason daycare is not cheaper is because I am out the entire day. I leave very early in the morning, so I have no time to really teach my toddler until the weekend.

21young, I don't know of a babysitter who would do better than me if I were sahm. I am a hard worker and spent a lot of time with my older child teaching him things and taking him out... when I was a sahm.

Blue, while I agree some kids take longer, according to the evaluation from the agency, toddlers are supposed to know a lot at each stage. The therapists do not say "well some kids take longer"....

I appreciate all the replies, but from all the replies, so far only one mom says her babysitter teaches all these things.....Am I the only one who does not send to playgroup???maybe!!
I saw a lot of babysitters when I went walking on my day off, they did not seem to be interacting too much(were sitting in the park talking to their friends who were also babysitting), but maybe those toddlers are going to daycare???
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shana rishona




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 27 2017, 8:36 pm
Yes my babysitter teaches and interacts with my toddler all day but I have a great babysitter
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amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Fri, Jul 28 2017, 10:23 am
My babysitter taught these things to my daughter as a toddler. She knew shapes, colors, etc.

My child also had a delay, but in motor skills. It was obviously unrelated to the babysitter. We took her for therapy because she needed it.

Also, therapists absolutely do say that some kids do things later, so if they are telling you your child is late, you can believe them. But, you should clarify whether it's the late end of normal and they are recommending early intervention, or whether your child is already past the normal age and really is delayed. Either way, intervention is recommended.

Two things:
1) Whether it's because of the babysitter or not, please take your child to therapy. He needs to catch up regardless of the reason.
2) Whether there is a delay or not, your babysitter can and should work with your child on these concepts, it is not unreasonable to tell her this. Her job is not just to do the minimum to make sure your child is fed and safe, but to foster development. You and the babysitter should work together to teach your child things, each one supplementing what the other is doing.

Also, how old is your toddler? What exactly is he behind in?
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amother
Jade


 

Post Fri, Jul 28 2017, 10:46 am
If your child was developing prior to the babysitters presence normally, and now has this delay, I would be very alarmed. I care less about what is the norm for the babysitters and if others do the bare minimum. That is on the other mothers to decide if its okay.
A person that is involved all day long with MY child has to have a bond with him/her and play and talk etc with her. I would look into what she does with your precious one all day. I would be paranoid enough to even install cameras. It is absolutely not normal not to talk to a kid. It is the most natural thing. And if she is not capable or not willing to she is in the wrong business.
Most importanly what is your gut saying?
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keym




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 28 2017, 11:11 am
I want to point out that even if your kid is tired when you come home you could still teach him but not sitting down and teaching. I got home at 6, and my toddlers and I would do colors every night while cutting up the salad. Have her pull a chair next to the counter. Green lettuce orange carrots red yellow green peppers etc. Yellow ducks blue ducks in bath. Pink towel. Puple pajamas.
Donr get so hung up on sitting and teaching. Have her help you.

About the babysitter if she is not fluent in english it may not be helpful to have her talk to your toddler. For emotional development its great but speech and cognitively there may be issues.
Dont beat yourself up. Do the best you could and take whatever therapy your eligible for.
Dont let perfect be the enemy of good.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 28 2017, 11:23 am
Where is she from? I don't go out of my way to "teach" these things. They pick it up, or not, until school.
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 28 2017, 11:34 am
Why was your child referred for evaluation by a therapist?

BTW, therapists do, of course, say that there is a range in which certain milestones should be reached; a delay is beyond the range.

In any case, yes, your sitter should absolutely be talking to your child all day, interacting, and teaching through play. Our sitter did. The other sitters we knew did as well.

Buy crayons, or washable markers, and lots of paper. Let's draw a blue circle! Can you give me the red crayon? The leaves are green, but the trunk is brown. Let's draw a tree with a brown trunk and green leaves!

Buy wooden puzzles with shapes and colors. Can you put the circle in the puzzle? No, you silly, that's the triangle! Look, it has 3 sides. A circle is like the sun. Can you find it for me?

Do you want to wear your blue shirt today, or your pink one?

Play matching games.

Have fun with her!

Also, if you're in the US, ask about Early Intervention.

Good luck.
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amother
Emerald


 

Post Fri, Jul 28 2017, 11:39 am
keym wrote:
I want to point out that even if your kid is tired when you come home you could still teach him but not sitting down and teaching. I got home at 6, and my toddlers and I would do colors every night while cutting up the salad. Have her pull a chair next to the counter. Green lettuce orange carrots red yellow green peppers etc. Yellow ducks blue ducks in bath. Pink towel. Puple pajamas.
Donr get so hung up on sitting and teaching. Have her help you.

About the babysitter if she is not fluent in english it may not be helpful to have her talk to your toddler. For emotional development its great but speech and cognitively there may be issues.
Dont beat yourself up. Do the best you could and take whatever therapy your eligible for.
Dont let perfect be the enemy of good.


I don't think there is any basis for saying that a child is better off not having interactive language all day just because the caregiver is not speaking fluent English. There are many speech and language skills to be gained, and plenty of cognitive development happening, without perfect English.
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oliveoil




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 28 2017, 11:52 am
Honestly, it sounds like you are taking this way too seriously. Your toddler does need to officially learn anything. These are things he or she will pick up, maybe quicker, maybe slower. As long as the kid is developing steadily, it really doesn't matter if they know their colors at 2 or 3 or 4.

There does need to be exposure to language of some sort, but I can't imagine the babysitter is sitting in silence with your kid all day.
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keym




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 28 2017, 11:56 am
amother wrote:
I don't think there is any basis for saying that a child is better off not having interactive language all day just because the caregiver is not speaking fluent English. There are many speech and language skills to be gained, and plenty of cognitive development happening, without perfect English.


True. What I meant and didnt write clearly is that even a babysitter who talks and interacts tons, the child may still have speech delays due to being a partial bilingual child. My ped says that overall the child Iis better off being multi lingual but in the short term the kid may have speech language or articulation delays.
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