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Leaving children alone
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unexpected




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 27 2017, 10:35 pm
I live in Brooklyn. I let my 5 year old play outside without supervision if there are other kids outside. I let my 8 year old cross one way streets at the corner with a light. I think this is a much safer option than having a child wait for an adult to cross them. I let my 10+ year olds walk or bike to school. I don't understand the parents who allow their children to run back and forth across the street in large giggling gaggles of girls but don't let them walk 2 blocks to the grocery store.
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Fri, Jul 28 2017, 12:45 am
Chayalle wrote:
They have false illusions of safety.

My parents were once visiting Israel. They were in the vicinity of Tachana Merkazit (Central Bus Station) and they saw a young girl, maybe about 8 years old, sobbing hysterically. Apparently she had lost her cartis (bus card) and could not get home to Neve Yaakov (a totally different area). My parents felt bad and they took her home in a cab.

It's ridiculous that such young children are left to get around on their own.


No, this is exactly why Israeli parents are more trusting with their kids. Because they know that wherever their child falls short, society will step in.

Here in small town America, I can't trust that the strangers on the street will do the same.
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heidi




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 28 2017, 12:58 am
amother wrote:
No, this is exactly why Israeli parents are more trusting with their kids. Because they know that wherever their child falls short, society will step in.

Here in small town America, I can't trust that the strangers on the street will do the same.

Either society will step in, or a predator (adult or teen) will see a perfect opportunity.
Also, why should your child have to count on the kindness of strangers to help him cross the street or get him down from the monkey bars in the park?
Parents, for goodness sake, parent.
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amother
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Post Fri, Jul 28 2017, 1:24 am
I agree, don't have your kid walk home from school alone if he can't cross the street.
Don't send him to the park alone if he can't figure out how to get off the swing.

However, I may choose to let my kid walk a few blocks by himself even if he doesn't know an alternate way of getting there should the sideway be blocked for some reason.

In Israel, I can count on society to help on the off chance that something unexpected happens, while the same may not be true for all parts of America.
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Aylat




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 28 2017, 1:33 am
heidi wrote:

Also, why should your child have to count on the kindness of strangers to help him cross the street or get him down from the monkey bars in the park?.


I don't know why this doesn't bother me like it obviously does others. I'm happy to help kids cross the street just like I'm happy to give lifts to hitchhikers (when I deem it safe for me). I also don't feel like I have failed as a parent if my child has to ask for help if they are out and I am not around.
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deena19k




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 28 2017, 2:42 am
Aylat wrote:
I don't know why this doesn't bother me like it obviously does others. I'm happy to help kids cross the street just like I'm happy to give lifts to hitchhikers (when I deem it safe for me). I also don't feel like I have failed as a parent if my child has to ask for help if they are out and I am not around.


I personally don't mind crossing other kids when they ask me, but I think its really not a safe practice.

I've seen kids wait a while at the corner, obviously too shy to ask adults, and then suddenly just dash across the street. I'm sure they tell their mother that someone crossed them.

I've also seen men offer to cross kids across, and I'm sure they all mean well, but sometimes, they'll hold the little kid's hand when crossing, especially if its a really busy street.. I think this gives kids really mixed messages about stranger danger and about strangers touching them.
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amother
Cyan


 

Post Fri, Jul 28 2017, 4:33 pm
MagentaYenta wrote:
Children of nicotine addicts are likely to become addicted to the same substance as teens. I think your real concern is how smoking is going to impact your child in the long run. And for goodness sakes learn a bit about the impact of 3rd hand smoke and your baby.


HA! If I had the power to control any thing that DH does, smoking would be low on the list.
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MagentaYenta




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 28 2017, 4:42 pm
amother wrote:
HA! If I had the power to control any thing that DH does, smoking would be low on the list.


In that case I have even more pity for your children, they never asked to be substance addicts. Third hand smoke is a real health hazard to children, every time your husband picks up your baby he/she is coming into contact with nicotine. Your child's risks for respiratory illness increases every time every time a nicotine addict exposes her to the toxin.

It's truly sad you can have such a cavalier attitude about something so serious.
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Sun, Jul 30 2017, 6:55 pm
MagentaYenta wrote:
In that case I have even more pity for your children, they never asked to be substance addicts. Third hand smoke is a real health hazard to children, every time your husband picks up your baby he/she is coming into contact with nicotine. Your child's risks for respiratory illness increases every time every time a nicotine addict exposes her to the toxin.

It's truly sad you can have such a cavalier attitude about something so serious.

Dear MagentaYenta,

PP perhaps does not treat smoking cavalierly, she is obviously referring to the fact that her husband has many damaging behaviors, and she has no control over them.

She is not saying that she doesn't care.
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 31 2017, 5:23 am
MagentaYenta wrote:
In that case I have even more pity for your children, they never asked to be substance addicts. Third hand smoke is a real health hazard to children, every time your husband picks up your baby he/she is coming into contact with nicotine. Your child's risks for respiratory illness increases every time every time a nicotine addict exposes her to the toxin.

It's truly sad you can have such a cavalier attitude about something so serious.


Please share with us your magic abilities to change husbands behaviour. We would all like to know this.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 31 2017, 7:00 am
You can't change someone. But they need to understand it's dangerous.

I was born in the 80s. EVERYONE smoked (or almost). My father started at the Liberation. The GIs would give him cigs because they saw that poor little boy (you read that well). He smoked until he learned my mother was pregnant, then he literally threw the cigs away. You CAN stop, if he stopped after starting 40 years before during his formative years.
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mom2six




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 31 2017, 8:56 am
I lives in Israel and don't even let my 8-year-old play outside alone for more than 5 minutes at a time. My kids cross the street from 9 (but can't cross other children until older) so that's when they start walking to school themselves. That's also when I let them go to the park with friends. I let them stay home alone from 10-11 for short periods of time. They have to be at least 13 to stay home alone at night, and I still keeping checking in with them by phone.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 31 2017, 10:10 am
If I made alia, I would definitely want to enjoy the perks, which include no helicoptering as Americans say.
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