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Forum -> Household Management -> Cleaning & Laundry
Cleaning lady etiquette
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 31 2017, 2:53 pm
ra_mom wrote:
I think the hot meal is over the top.
I always offer a choice of lunch like pizza in the toaster, turkey on rye, yogurt... something that's workable for me to offer. Along with a pastry, fruit, drink. They're usually happy with that though sometimes they decline. If I'm around and making food then of course I make for her too.
Someone who is fussy or has special dietary requirements usually brings their own food.
That said I wouldn't have a problem buying lactaid milk if more than 2 tablepsoons per week for her coffee were being used and the rest didn't end up spoiling and being thrown out only for a new one to have to be bought again. I think it would make more sense for her to bring some along in a thermos. Or offer soy milk.

Non lactose intolerant people can drink lactaid milk too and it actually lasts much longer in the fridge than regular milk.
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DREAMING




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 31 2017, 2:56 pm
It sounds like your being taken advantage of.

I serve lunch. Usually cold (one main like turkey, tuna, yogurt, and fruit and bread,) some definitely prefer hot and if I have leftovers from I rewarm but usually I give a cold lunch. No breakfast (I do offer a drink when they arrive and give a snack or pastry when they leave .
When one lady couldn't drink coffee/milk I gave juice or water or tea
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DREAMING




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 31 2017, 2:57 pm
Squishy wrote:
In terms of time, effort, and money the cleaning lady is OP's boss several hours a day. This is not a good situation. I wouldn't let it go. OP already resents it.

OP has to make sure the cleaning lady has a specific hot meal of chicken and rice daily! This is ridiculous. That means she has to cook extra to cater to the cleaning lady's tastes. A hot fleisch meal 5 days a week is burdensome when she is not feeding her own family that. Now the cleaning lady is adding a 20 minute breakfast. Soon she will want an omelet when she arrives. She has OP buying special milk for her.

OP your cleaning lady is taking advantage of you with your own help. Who comes to work and gets a 20 minute breakfast daily?

OP, are you a sham or a part time worker?

Is this lady Spanish?

Is there a language barrier?

Unless you stop this now, your resentment is going to build, and she will find other ways to push. It is not a question of if you can afford it, it is a question of the relationship and respect. This is not a beloved aunt coming to your house to watch your child for free. The lady is there to free up your time.

Tell her starting tomorrow there is no more breakfast. You need her help. Give her more chores like cleaning the fridge or the glass to keep her busy right away. Give her a coffee snd mezones which she can eat while working when she first arrives.

I would also limit which food she can take. I would designate a fruit bowl. She can sit down for a coffee break midmorning if you like. If you have a hot lunch left over, you will gladly give it, but if you don't have it, then she must accept an alternative.

This woman knows what she is doing. She is increasing her paycheck. You need to learn to manage and set boundaries.


This
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 31 2017, 3:46 pm
INSANE. I happen to take low lactose milk because a lot of lactose can give me a migraine. It's expensive. I'm not buying it for the cleaning lady. I'm baffled at what I'm reading here. It never occured to me to ask to be provided with any food, let alone GF and lactose low.
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Mon, Jul 31 2017, 4:08 pm
Where I live, it's common that household help does not bring their own food to avoid kashrus issues. In that case, the OP does have to provide food for her.

It is kinda crazy to provide breakfast... she really should do that at home. You can buy her some cake and tell her it's for the week. If she eats it up on Tuesday, it's too bad. Banging head

Re the lactaid: I would probably go for this before the chicken and rice. Tell her you'll buy her special milk but you can't keep making chicken. You don't eat it that often. Be honest. Tell her it's too hard for you to do every day.

But since you do want to feed her to keep your kitchen as kosher as possible, you'll have to offer her some appropriate solution. YOu said she hates tuna, but does she like cream cheese/peanut butter/yogurt? Chocolate spread? ;-)

Sometimes we have to have uncomfortable conversations, but they help us out in the long run. Your growing resentment towards your help is not going to be good. Nip it in the bud! Cool Cool
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 31 2017, 4:34 pm
Ruchel wrote:
INSANE. I happen to take low lactose milk because a lot of lactose can give me a migraine. It's expensive. I'm not buying it for the cleaning lady. I'm baffled at what I'm reading here. It never occured to me to ask to be provided with any food, let alone GF and lactose low.


Do you have a cleaning lady in your house full time- every day? I think there is a difference between having someone come a few hours a week vs being a full time employee?

I agree that the OP doesn't have to make a hot lunch for the cleaning lady, that seems excessive but I don't think having milk and coffee for a full time employee is excessive
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amother
cornflower


 

Post Mon, Jul 31 2017, 5:10 pm
imasinger wrote:
I think you need to figure out what makes you comfortable, and talk to her.

First, figure out what you want to discuss.

Among the options:

- You keep providing her with hot or cold meals of her choice 2x a day, and giving her 20 minutes twice a day to eat them.

- You provide her with menu options that don't stress your time/pocketbook too much, and let her choose.

- You buy a small used microwave for her use and let her bring her own chicken and rice to warm up.

- You tell her she needs to bring her own meals, but you will give her break time to eat them.
- You record the expenses of her food, keep track of her breaks, and subtract one or
both both from her paycheck.

Once you are clear in your own mind, go to her and say, "I love the work you are doing, but I need to clear up a misunderstanding. When I hired you and we agreed on salary, it didn't include the time or expense of 2 meals a day. I can't keep playing restaurant; the cost in
time and money of the breakfast and lunch you have been eating is getting too much for me. Here are 2 choices, which do you like better, or do you have any other ideas?"

The tone is about a misunderstanding that needs to be cleared up, not any finger pointing.

And work it out.



Imasinger, your points are excellent and well, to the point.

I agree on all, except for the ones I bolded.

I would be very afraid to have a non-Jewish cleaning lady (who spends so many hours in OP's
home,) bring her treif chicken and food into my home.
I just wouldn;t trust her - any "mistakes" can happen.
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 31 2017, 5:14 pm
Hence why I listed as many options as I could think of.

Different people have different ideas and emotions.

Me, if I trusted someone to come into my home and care for my house and my 3 month old, I'd trust them to wash my dishes, and to handle my rules with outside food.
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mame1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 01 2017, 1:12 am
I say you should make her a lunch, put it in a brown bag, and write her name on it, just like you make your other kids lunches for school, and have some snacks out. Or, tell her that she is welcome to bring snacks and she can keep it there. It's a bad habit that was started and she absolutely is taking advantage. She can bring a lunch and I don't think it's outrageous that you provide her a lunch, but you don't need to be shtipping her food all day long, giving her breakfast, or taking specific orders from her. You need to have an understanding that she can't just help herself to whatever she wants.
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UnFarvosNischt




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 01 2017, 3:04 am
Maybe suggest her to start 30min later (and finish later or pay less) so that she has time to eat breakfast in the morning by her house.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 01 2017, 8:41 am
Even my kids know not to touch mommy's milk because it's not regular milk. Shrug. I guess I'll never get it, even as someone who worked at people.
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