being easy going...

amother

Copper

Sun, Aug 06 2017, 11:10 am

our you easy going when it comes to infants?
idk why I struggle with this.. bh had my 3rd almost 3 months ago and I get stressed out easily from her..

and rationally I know that infants go through stages and have good days and bad days, but even though I know this, I still get stressed out about small things like did she eat enough? is her stomach hurting her? why is she so kvetchy today?

and what bothers me is that I want to have a big family! (with Hashems help) and my dh keeps asking me how do I want a big family if I get so stressed out from infants?

I guess this is just a vent- we are having a very hard day!

amother

Seagreen

Sun, Aug 06 2017, 1:03 pm

I get very stressed out as well. I have a two month old and if he doesn't sleep at night I get especially stressed out. I have a 3 yr old as well, so there are plenty of stressful times these days! What I do is:
-Plan ahead as much as possible to avoid potential issues. Always have materials handy (bottles, diapers, wipes, food, toys, change of clothing). Plan around the children's schedule; don't be out when they are bound to be kvetchy/tired/hungry.

-delegate. Ask your husband to help when necessary. Give him certain tasks that he does every day so you won't have to ask him every time.

-sleep when baby sleeps if possible.

-on kvetchy days, enlist more help! And on those days, take it extra easy. Simple dinner (or takeout); save household tasks for another day etc

-send to a babysitter for a few hrs a day/week if you need to

-smile even if you don't feel like it. And/or Say "thank you Hashem for my healthy baby who's crying right now. Please help me figure out how to help her!"

My personality is somewhat anxious. I like to plan in advance- for example I plan my menu for shabbos on Tuesday. Therefore, we space out our children. We'd rather have a happy, healthy family environment with perhaps fewer children than a harried, stressed, angry environment with more children (which is how it would be if we had more). I have a 3 yr break between my first two and will probably do the same iy"H with the next. This way, we can concentrate on creating a happy, loving, less-stress (never 100% stress free though; that's probably impossible) family unit.

amother

Copper

Sun, Aug 06 2017, 2:30 pm

op here
I guess I do have a little anxiety but it doesnt affect my day to day life I am still managing and dont feel like im falling apart
theres just something abt infants , their scheduling, the sleeping all of it just has me worried...mostly for the future.

today was a very hard day, non stop crying and very little sleep and my big ones had very little patience and were also very kvetchy..
I was in a bad mood the whole day and kept worrying... like whats going on w baby, will she be like this forever? is this her new normal?

thanks again for letting me vent!

behappy2

Sun, Aug 06 2017, 6:16 pm

I think many ppl find it to be the hardest stage in parenting especially given that it comes on the heels of the trauma of giving birth. Your body is weak. Your hormones are in Flux, you are adjusting to a new person in the family and this new person is very unpredictable. I personally find it very very hard. With my first I remember calling up a neighbor on the block that I had almost nothing to do with to watch my baby bec I really just couldn't. If you find that they are much easier to handle as they get older than you can view it as a short term crisis and plan accordingly. Get suppers from friends and family. Buy take out. Have your husband bring the laundry to the laundry mat. Get babysitting help. A lot. Make sure your self care isn't dropping. Eat well, shower and do whatever else makes you feel ok. May Hashem bless you with the strength to continue bringing neshamos into this world and caring for them.

amother

Yellow

Tue, Aug 08 2017, 1:59 pm

amother wrote:

op here
I guess I do have a little anxiety but it doesnt affect my day to day life I am still managing and dont feel like im falling apart

You sound like me when my kid was a baby. Now my kid is 4 and I'm an even more anxious, overprotective, and worried. It's already starting to affect your day to day life in jus the ways you described and it's best to nip it in the bud as soon as possible and not wait until you are me. . .