Meltdowns | Imamother

amother

Lilac

Sun, Aug 06 2017, 5:41 pm

Hi .My dd age 13 cannot calm herself during her frequent meltdowns. they can last up to 45 minutes . Thy include uncontrollable sobbing hollering throwing things banging viscously on doors .. she admits she can't calm herself when angry. It can be over seemingly small things like me not taking her to target when she wanted to go. I need a good social worker / psychologist reccomendation in the New Jersey area that anyone has used and had amazing results with. I'm not sure that it's just a "teenage" thing. I'm thinking it's stemming more from an underlying anxiety at this point. Please advise ..

amother

Lilac

Sun, Aug 06 2017, 6:20 pm

amother wrote:

Hugs. Not directly answering the q but please know that are medicines that can m fake a HUGE difference with this sort of thing. Please look into that as well.

Yes however I would need a professional assessment before going that route

amother

Plum

Sun, Aug 06 2017, 8:58 pm

We're dealing with something similar with 10y.o DS. (He is violent during his meltdowns.) I am sure this is not developmentally normal and we are currently in the process of looking for help for him. I would really like to find a DBT child therapist because I think for him the root of it is inability to emotionally regulate. Sounds like it could also be the case for your DD. I would go the social worker/psychologist route before looking into medication. A good therapist will tell you if they think medication is indicated and refer you to a psychiatrist.

Aylat

Sun, Aug 06 2017, 11:44 pm

mha3484 wrote:

I would also look in Ross Green's books and website. I heard him speak at a school event and have been a big fan ever since. Www.livesinthebalance.org

There is a fb support group for implementing his methods. Search Plan B on fb. Caution: they are quite militant about following his methods to a T, so take things with a pinch of salt.

amother

Lilac

Mon, Aug 07 2017, 8:47 am

mha3484 wrote:

I would also look in Ross Green's books and website. I heard him speak at a school event and have been a big fan ever since. Www.livesinthebalance.org

Ty! I own the book so will def reread ..

amother

Lilac

Mon, Aug 07 2017, 8:48 am

Aylat wrote:

There is a fb support group for implementing his methods. Search Plan B on fb. Caution: they are quite militant about following his methods to a T, so take things with a pinch of salt.

Ty! will look into that ..

singleagain

Mon, Aug 07 2017, 9:43 am

op, call your local JFS, (or check your insurance for a similar group of social workers), when you call, you give them some info so they can match you with a specific social worker.

Also, kudos for realizing this is something that needs attention now. But I hope your DD will be willing to do the work/realize that she has an issue. I say this as a former child who had meltdowns/super high anxiety, but the school or whoever would call my parents, my mom would talk to me, and I would sit and stare, and be confused since part of my coping mechanism was blocking out the bad stuff. (Something I still do) In fact, to this day, I still can't remember huge chunks of my childhood bc my brain was trying to protect itself from my panic attacks etc.

amother

Lilac

Mon, Aug 07 2017, 10:16 am

singleagain wrote:

Hi and thx for writing..So sorry to hear of ur struggles... I contacted the local agency but wasn't pleased with any of their referrals .. she actually is perfect at School .. respectful and performs academically A1!!.. this is a problem at home so bh for that.. she realizes she needs help so I'm hoping that she will cooperate with us..I think she's overwhelmed with some other struggles she's been going through in her life thereby exasperating her explosive child nature.. ie: overweight and other health issues as well

amother

Mistyrose

Mon, Aug 07 2017, 4:43 pm

look into BehaviorWise in Short hills. They helped my daughter and family tremendously!
They are out of network but they will do home visits. So we had a lady come to my house once a week to help my dd deal with her emotions. She taught her what her "triggers" are helped her come up with coping mechanisms. I wouldn't say my daughter is 100% better but definitely about 90% there. I would totally recommend.

We saw a person named Maria. She was very upperclass and related well to my dd. She believes helping the child needs to be done as a family and she works with the family dynamic.

amother

Ruby

Tue, Aug 08 2017, 3:01 pm

Please Please Please have her immediately evaluated for s-xual abuse.
Your text is a copy of my child's behavior; she was perfect in school, straight A student, friends, popular, funny, you name it.
Meltdowns at home went on for hours over the most inconsequential things...
zero coping mechanisms.
turned out she was being s-xually tortured and keeping it all in.
I pray this is not the case... but check it out.
hatzlacha, hugs and strength.

amother

Mistyrose

Tue, Aug 08 2017, 3:04 pm

before we got this therapist, I brought her to the doctor because I was scared that chas v'shalom she was being abused. B'H that wasn't the case, but I second the other another- get her checked out first.