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No rav in ny available vent
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amother




Red


Post  Thu, Aug 10 2017, 10:42 am
amother wrote:
Ok that's still a nice perk that most professions don't allow, to be out of the area for 8 or 9 weeks.


Wow. Just wow. You clearly have no idea of the stress a Rabbis job entails and how time consuming 24/7 it is.
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amother




Lawngreen


Post  Thu, Aug 10 2017, 5:06 pm
Where is the Rav of your shul? Who do you usually ask shailas to?

I overheard a coworker complaining once that "Rabbi X won't make time for me. Please don't suggest or try it yourself... All I wanted was for him to set aside time to help my son" and went on to describe a mentoring type role at shul that would be an weekly ongoing need while the Rav was supposed to, I don't know, be running the minyan? She wanted someone to devote hours of time every week to tutor/guide/mentor her son (who wasn't the most docile or easy going).

The real kicker was she didn't even regularly attend that shul! I go there and see her once every few months. But she doesn't attend, try to "be a part of the shul" (like participating in women's events like women's shalosh seudos or shiurim or activities, send meals during a meal train formation for someone who had a baby, is sick, Shiva etc). I was appalled. For someone to openly bad mouth one of the nicest Rabbanim I know, at a warm and welcoming shul, because a near stranger wanted a very large and ongoing favor- it was just shocking.
I have asked shailas to him in the past and he gets back usually pretty quickly. I once had a major shaila and he went "up he chain" spending hours talking to other Rabbanim about the specific issues involved and even asked if we needed funds to help cover the costs associated with the resulting answer. (We didn't take it but I appreciated the offer). But we have a connection to the Shul and Rav. We aren't big machers, big donors or have any yichus. But we go to shul and events when we can.

Long story short- if you have a real connection to a Rav/shul you should be able to get a shaila answered in less than 3 weeks baring a medical emergency or death in his family CV.
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amother




Turquoise


Post  Thu, Aug 10 2017, 5:41 pm
amother wrote:
Ok that's still a nice perk that most professions don't allow, to be out of the area for 8 or 9 weeks.


And therefore...?
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amother




Aubergine


Post  Thu, Aug 10 2017, 5:50 pm
amother wrote:
Ok that's still a nice perk that most professions don't allow, to be out of the area for 8 or 9 weeks.


Who said anything about 8 or 9 weeks? A vacation can be just a few days to a couple of weeks too.
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seeker









  


Post  Thu, Aug 10 2017, 10:11 pm
amother wrote:
oh my gosh , I just came back on and read all replies . this is hysterical!!

So glad imamother has succeeded in providing you with your free entertainment for the day. Rolling Eyes
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Cmon be nice









  


Post  Fri, Aug 11 2017, 12:17 am
I think OP is looking for a high caliber rav. I can't believe there isn't a single rav in the city, especially during the week, but to find that certain type of rav is more difficult
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ProudMommie









  


Post  Fri, Aug 11 2017, 12:32 am
OP, I am outraged!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I normally would be quiet but I feel that this is SO ridiculous! People are here breaking their head to help you, answering you, suggesting things, sharing their experience...and you say it is HYSTERICAL?????

Wow! Your sarcasm and sharp tongue comes through in even in this anonymous forum!

I can see why you are having a marriage issue! If you speak like that with your husband I can only imagine the lovely response!

The gaiva, the chutzpah!

If you don't do some soul searching chas v'shalom very soon, it will not be a good thing.
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amother




Yellow


Post  Fri, Aug 11 2017, 12:47 pm
[quote="ProudMommie"]OP, I am outraged!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I normally would be quiet but I feel that this is SO ridiculous! People are here breaking their head to help you, answering you, suggesting things, sharing their experience...and you say it is HYSTERICAL?????

Wow! Your sarcasm and sharp tongue comes through in even in this anonymous forum!

I can see why you are having a marriage issue! If you speak like that with your husband I can only imagine the lovely response!

The gaiva, the chutzpah!

If you don't do some soul searching chas v'shalom very soon, it will not be a good thing.[/quote

Wow wow, I don't know who has more chutzpah you or her. From the two of you I would say probably you proudnommie. you have no idea what's going on other people's lives and how frustrating it can be to reach a Rabbi. I understand because my father is a rabbi and I know how busy he is and I know that situations can be very frustrating for people to reach him so I understand her. It sounds like you have everything got planned out for you and you know exactly the person that is writing it and you know why she has problems wow this is really something. All she wanted was a little understanding and all you people were doing is giving her ideas that she doesn't understand what Rabbi do blah blah blah. And I found it hilarious too. All people were busy with that instead of feeling with her and trying to give her ideas how she get a babysitter or even explain to her the other side of the coin in a nice way so she can listen you jumped on her back. I have
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amother




Silver


Post  Fri, Aug 11 2017, 1:14 pm
you get sympathy and understanding when you complain that there is no Rav around to meet with.. and you really need to speak to someone. You get bashed when you accuse Rabbis of making excuses. "I'm away for vacation" is not an excuse - its a valid reason.
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amother




Cerulean


Post  Fri, Aug 11 2017, 1:16 pm
amother wrote:
you get sympathy and understanding when you complain that there is no Rav around to meet with.. and you really need to speak to someone. You get bashed when you accuse Rabbis of making excuses. "I'm away for vacation" is not an excuse - its a valid reason.


For the whole summer?
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amother




Silver


Post  Fri, Aug 11 2017, 1:23 pm
amother wrote:
For the whole summer?


so the discussion is now - how much vacation is a Rabbi permitted to take? Let's leave the people who pay him make that determination.
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amother




Blush


Post  Fri, Aug 11 2017, 1:24 pm
Hi thank you for all your help and replies

Just to clarify, my husband himself is a Rav,
For the first time we wanted to discuss something with someone not in our shul, firstly they work with my husband and just was a different type of question

Also No this is not a marriage issue

To the amother who said what if I have a Dr appointment 8am sun, I don't understand the comparison please explain?
For a Dr appointment my husband can babysit or I can take kids, I cant take them to a Rabbi,
Also I don't know any high school girl in my area that will babysit for me at 730 sun morning even if I pay 20 dollars an hour, Sunday is the day they relax and sleep in,

And for those of you who were curious, we could not wait for Sunday to speak to Rav unfortunately so we did what we thought was a better option, I hope it's not a mistake....
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amother




Lawngreen


Post  Fri, Aug 11 2017, 1:29 pm
You haven't specified the issue as we mostly assumed it was a marriage issue. Be specific if you want help.

Your "hilarious" response just made me think you didn't want help and wanted to complain. Fine- but don't expect support. Why bother posting if you don't want answers?
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amother




Silver


Post  Fri, Aug 11 2017, 1:35 pm
amother wrote:
Hi thank you for all your help and replies

Just to clarify, my husband himself is a Rav,
For the first time we wanted to discuss something with someone not in our shul, firstly they work with my husband and just was a different type of question

Also No this is not a marriage issue

To the amother who said what if I have a Dr appointment 8am sun, I don't understand the comparison please explain?
For a Dr appointment my husband can babysit or I can take kids, I cant take them to a Rabbi,
Also I don't know any high school girl in my area that will babysit for me at 730 sun morning even if I pay 20 dollars an hour, Sunday is the day they relax and sleep in,

And for those of you who were curious, we could not wait for Sunday to speak to Rav unfortunately so we did what we thought was a better option, I hope it's not a mistake....


well just from your writing, you seem more at ease than you did earlier in the week.

I hope it all works out.
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amother




Blush


Post  Fri, Aug 11 2017, 1:37 pm
amother wrote:
well just from your writing, you seem more at ease than you did earlier in the week.

I hope it all works out.


Yes thank you, it was an absolute nightmare.
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amother




Silver


Post  Fri, Aug 11 2017, 1:37 pm
removed.
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amother




Blush


Post  Fri, Aug 11 2017, 1:39 pm
So now does my husband have to go on Sunday and tell him we are not coming or just leave it? It's half an hour away from us.. Also it wasn't a real appointment just like a 'if u want come by Sunday 8am see if u can catch me' that type of thing
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amother




Silver


Post  Fri, Aug 11 2017, 1:42 pm
amother wrote:
So now does my husband have to go on Sunday and tell him we are not coming or just leave it? It's half an hour away from us.. Also it wasn't a real appointment just like a 'if u want come by Sunday 8am see if u can catch me' that type of thing


is there anyway you can contact someone who can deliver that message to him (someone you know in the Rav's community who can knock on his door Motzei Shabbos?)
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penguin









  


Post  Fri, Aug 11 2017, 3:45 pm
Quote:
So now does my husband have to go on Sunday and tell him we are not coming or just leave it?
Quote:
if u want come by Sunday 8am see if u can catch me'
Surely not. If you want means, maybe you don't want.
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