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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
Eating a shabbos meal with someone



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amother
Navy


 

Post Thu, Aug 17 2017, 6:36 am
Dh and I were invited for a shabbos meal and I'm wondering what we should bring with us or give before shabbos?
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OOTforlife




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 17 2017, 6:39 am
Mevushal wine is a pretty safe bet.
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simcha2




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 17 2017, 6:40 am
Depends where you live/how well you know them. In our community on getting an invite the response is always "what can I bring?". Some people will say, bring a side, a dessert etc. Other people say, bring yourselves. In that case a bottle of wine, flowers or a candy platter before Shabbat are appropriate.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 17 2017, 7:07 am
Ask. If they say bring nothing, I agree to still bring something, knowing that you cant please everyone. When people bring us wine, we appreciate the thought but not the wine because we arent wine people. We love candy platters. Others dont like candy and prefer nuts. Others have nut allergies but would love netilas yadaim towels. Others need another towel like a hole in the head. Still, dont come empty handed.
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doctorima




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 17 2017, 7:32 am
Another vote for asking. If you don't want to, wine is the most popular, or a candy or fruit platter for dessert, occasionally flowers.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 17 2017, 9:27 am
I'm not much of a wine drinker but if you bring me a bottle I will appreciate it twice: a. When you bring it I appreciate the thought and b. When I regift it, send it for Mishloach Manot or serve it at the Seder I will appreciate that I didn't have to go out and buy it.
Or dh will open and serve it when we have company and he will appreciate looking like a generous host.
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Blessing1




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 17 2017, 9:45 am
If someone invites you for a meal why would you ask if you should bring anything? They invited you so it's assumed they don't need anything for the meal. Get some flowers, wine, nice chocolate, candy, nuts, fruit platter.
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cm




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 17 2017, 10:14 am
Blessing1 wrote:
If someone invites you for a meal why would you ask if you should bring anything? They invited you so it's assumed they don't need anything for the meal. Get some flowers, wine, nice chocolate, candy, nuts, fruit platter.


In some circles, it is considered polite. The answer is often, "no thanks; just bring yourselves and your appetite," in which case wine/candy/flowers would be suitable.

Among closer friends or in a less formal setting, the answer might be (for example) "sure, please bring a salad." And according to many threads on Imamother, in some circles bringing a kugel seems to be pretty standard.
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amother
Gold


 

Post Thu, Aug 17 2017, 10:27 am
cm wrote:
In some circles, it is considered polite. The answer is often, "no thanks; just bring yourselves and your appetite," in which case wine/candy/flowers would be suitable.

Among closer friends or in a less formal setting, the answer might be (for example) "sure, please bring a salad." And according to many threads on Imamother, in some circles bringing a kugel seems to be pretty standard.


I host almost every week. If someone asks what to bring I usually respond sure can you bring a side or salad regardless of how close we are. It's a huge help to me and enables me to host every week.
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rachel6543




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 17 2017, 10:52 am
I'll often bring some sparkling apple cider as a gift. It's non-alcoholic and always popular with kids.
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Boca00




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 17 2017, 11:40 am
Do they have kids? An age-appropriate game or toy they can play with on Shabbos (ex a new card game, bananagrams, pick up sticks) would be very appreciated. I still remember a guest who brought us games as a kid.

Otherwise, any of the above ideas are very thoughtful as well.
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