DD switching schools

amother

Goldenrod

Thu, Aug 24 2017, 1:16 pm

DD (kindergarten) is switching schools.

I am taking her out from a school where she is thriving, popular & has a ton of friends. She is the life of the party in her class.

I am so sad. Every time I think about it I tear up. I am anxious. It doesn't help that she isn't happy about the switch either.

How do you deal with these feelings? How do you soother your child when you yourself experience the feelings? I desperately want to put her at ease.

amother

Floralwhite

Thu, Aug 24 2017, 3:34 pm

I would validate her feelings. And also talk about how easily she makes friends and how well liked she is.. to remind her that it will take a bit of time, but she will probably make lots of friends and be well liked in her new school too.

amother

Goldenrod

Thu, Aug 24 2017, 10:18 pm

MagentaYenta wrote:

I guess the real question is why are you doing this?

If I would know why I would be more confident with my decision.

My husband made some changes religious wise and we don't belong in the school she's in now.

But now I'm doubting if this marriage will survivor and maybe I shouldn't have given in.

amother

Goldenrod

Thu, Aug 24 2017, 10:19 pm

amother wrote:

Thank you!

amother

Orchid

Thu, Aug 24 2017, 10:23 pm

sounds like there is a a lot more going on here than just a child switching schools.

for your daughter - put on a brave face, validate her feels, and offer her optimism. might help if she is introduced to a few of the girls in the class before the first day of school.

Doublestroller

Thu, Aug 24 2017, 10:24 pm

From what I'm seeing here is that your more worried and anxious about the switch then your dd. A kindergarten girl can easily adapt to a new school and changes.. it's you that needs to make up your mind and decide whether you want this switch or not.
Stay strong!!

CDL

Thu, Aug 24 2017, 10:25 pm

I think you should convey confidence in her social abilities, and the decision to switch schools (even if you have to fake it), and she'll pick up on it. If youre anxious, she'll probably pick up on that too.
Good luck, it sounds like you are in a very difficult situation, I hope things work out well!

amother

Papaya

Fri, Aug 25 2017, 12:25 am

amother wrote:

Is it too late to keep her in her current school? I don't see why your dd should suffer based on dhs change?

amother

Goldenrod

Fri, Aug 25 2017, 10:59 am

I changed her because I didn't want to confuse her. Seeing one thing at home and learning another thing in school.

I'm going to explain a little even if it might give away my identity.

I don't speak to my parents. Part of it was because they ruined my marriage, maybe for good.

People tell me all the time I should divorce DH but I don't know where the cut off line is. When do I feel ready and I'll be confident with my decision for the rest of my life?

amother

Purple

Fri, Aug 25 2017, 11:03 am

I think it's smart that you don't want to confuse her. Stability is extremely important to children, and "just bec dh changed " is a very valid reason to change the way you do things. It's definitely unfortunate. But sounds to me like its reality, and so it needs to be dealt with practically, not in terms of theoretics and ideals.

cnc

Fri, Aug 25 2017, 11:47 am

amother wrote:

Kindergarten is very young . (Is she leaving or entering Kindergarten?) Can you keep her where she is through preschool and then reevaluate? Would your dh be fine with her staying in her old school?

amother

Aqua

Sat, Aug 26 2017, 4:07 pm

Try to arrange a few playdates with the kids who will be in her new class. I had a friend who switched around kindergarten, her mom called my mom, introduced themselves and the girl came over for a few playdates. We became fast freidns and remained friends for many years and it made her transition much smoother!

I also want to say, we put my very social and happy daughter in a new preschool this past year - fro ma group of kids and place she loved, to her not knowing anyone. The first few weeks/months were a transition (aside from a new school, we just moved and there was other stuff going on at home as well), but she weathered it beautifully and made close friends. She grew so much this year and has come so far in all areas of development. I'm sure your daughter will be fine too - kids are so adaptable, and the happy sociable ones do so well in new environments. Let her talk about whatever she needs to talk about, but don't put it into her head that things are hard. Validate if she comes to you, but in general just praise her abilities to make new friends learn new things, and have a great time, and make sure to start making playdates throughout the year - this made the biggest difference for our daughter socially!

Also, give the teacher the heads up that this is a time of transition for your daughter, both in terms of school and home and to please keep an eye out. The teachers want to know these things and it helps both them an your daughter.