What gives you that passion in the Torah way?

InnerMe

Tue, Sep 26 2017, 3:40 pm

So on my other thread...I'm seeing BT's being so connected to Judaism that they wouldn't trade it for anything. As an FFB, it is something I yearn to have. I want to really feel strongly about yiddishkeit, a passion, and inner desire to follow the torah life.

So my question is mainly to BT's but really everyone else also:
Can you share what inspires you to be part of the Torah lifestyle? Perhaps actions, ways of thinking? What is that makes you feel that joy- Wow, I am so happy to be a Yid and that feeling that you'd never trade it for anything.

amother

Vermilion

Tue, Sep 26 2017, 5:35 pm

I've lived completely non religiously and it was so empty. Shabbos is another day. It all starts to blur. Weekends you watch movies and go out to eat and it's just all so repetitive. There are so many places where you can eat everything, everywhere. You'd think that choice would be freeing but it gets empty also. So many decisions about which movie, which restaurant, nothing higher. And yes family life gives some meaning and people have successful careers but there is nothing more. Spirituality isn't tangible so it's hard to explain in words but having self control, knowing you won't pick up your phone on shabbos or eat chocolate when fleishig makes you feel like a person and not just an animal who fulfills every whim it desires.

s-xually things are exciting in the beginning but then it becomes all about your body and pleasure and passions. It isn't real. Waking up next to a stranger or a guy you knew for a few weeks isn't meaningful. Connecting to a man to love after a long wait is frustrating at times, but having daily relations would get old.

amother

Orchid

Tue, Sep 26 2017, 6:00 pm

wife2 wrote:

If someone told you today that you aren't Jewish and there was a mistake in your lineage and a mother or grandmother wasn't jewish, which way of life would you choose?
Think about why you would choose your lifestyle.

First I'd demand proof. Reliable, incontrovertible proof. I wouldn't take someone's say so. I'd have a documents expert assess any documents this person provided to make sure they're authentic.

If the docs proved authentic I'd be asking my rav's advice. And I'd be making emergency appointments for the whole family with the beis din for giyur. We're way too enmeshed--in a good way--to change. You don't just suddenly give up a whole way of life. The ds would be devastated to have to give up being cohanim. the dh would have to divorce me. That being so maybe I would give it all up after all. if I had to divorce the dh through no fault of my own, I'd be mad enough to want to chuck the whole thing. OTOH having no religion would be too weird and I'd have no interest in a different religion--good grief, the thought of having to start all over and learn a new way of life, no thanks--so probably I'd go for giyur anyway. I dont consider myself passionate about Yiddishkeit but then I'm not passionate about breathing,either, until I can't breathe.

There are very good reasons why we're not supposed to dig too deeply into anyone's background and what I wrote above is probably just scraping the surface as far as reasons why.

amother

Burlywood

Tue, Sep 26 2017, 6:09 pm

It's interesting. Just this rosh hashana, I had a conversation with Hashem, telling him that either the God I believe in is fake (the one that sends you to hell if your a tiny bit out of line, and he'll is worse than any of the crazy abuse I've suffered in this life)
Or I must not be Jewish.

I based option one off of the fact that God writes in his Torah "vchai bahem" and the way I believed in him until now was making me physically ill, so it has to be wrong. Being so ill from anxiety is not living.

So I told Him that I'm not making that decision. I will leave it to Him.
Either I'm not Jewish, and he can find a posek who is more machmir than me in hilchot shabbos, so I can still keep shabbos, or the God that I know is not the real God, and He should help me find the real God.

I don't plan on giving up being Jewish. I like it. I just don't want to live with the fear of hell over my head all the time. Or being told by rabbis that I have to put everyone else before me in order to keep the Torah properly. I am my own person, and intend to live life following the Halacha, but also following what my gut tells me to do.

For me it's all about the relationship.

chag334

Tue, Sep 26 2017, 11:03 pm

Really taking time to isolate myself and my thoughts and contemplate how everything comes from Him and everything was created by Him, and taking the time to thank Him for all the good that flows into my life whether it's shalom Bayis or food on my table. It's an avoda to calm our minds and thoughts down and put ourselves in touch with that in a visceral way. But it's crucial! Rabbi Doniel Katz speaks about this a lot. Strengthening these skills has changed my life

TeachersNotebook

Wed, Sep 27 2017, 1:36 am

Live mindfully. Don't just say davening by rote. Don't go about your Jewish day by rote. Infuse every action with meaning, because Judaism is especially rich with meaning. I recently read a classic article that touches this topic by Sara Yocheved Rigler - http://www.aish.com/sp/ph/4895.....e=yes

This is a tall order and something I'm always working on Smile

InnerMe

Wed, Sep 27 2017, 1:57 am

LovesHashem wrote:

When I go to the kosel and just feel everything else melt away. And nothing comes out of my mouth since there's nothing to say, I just want to be close, and that's it. Suddenly everything so important to cry and talk about have faded away.

I would never trade the feeling for anything.

yes that feeling is amazing.. though I don't live in Israel so I only have a few of those cherished memories.

InnerMe

Wed, Sep 27 2017, 2:03 am

amother wrote:

That's the unfortunate reality of today. I don't feel the 'real' yiddishkeit was given over to me. The one that creates joy, and positivity, that inspires you and uplifts you. I got a poor substitute which included a lot of negativity and threats. It's up to me to teach myself the real and beautiful torah life.

FranticFrummie

Wed, Sep 27 2017, 4:13 am

InnerMe wrote:

Have you learned any Breslov? I highly reccommend "The Garden of Emuna" and "The Garden of Gratitude". These books changed my life.

I became frum for a lot of reasons. Obviously, it was because I felt it was emes. I was craving structure and ritual in my life. I was craving community and connectedness. Most importantly, I was craving a way to connect with Hashem (who I've always believed in.)

I tried many other religions, but nothing stirs my heart the way Orthodox Judaism does. Even Reform and Conservative did not give me what I needed.

Structure and community are great, but it's that personal relationship you have with your loving heavenly creator that is the core. The more you work on your emunah and bitachon, the more you talk to Hashem in your own words, the more miracles you see in your life. The answers flow, the strength comes, and comfort and peace fill your heart.

Every time I look out the window, my soul sings Hashem's praises for His amazing world, created just for ME. I'd give up cheese burgers for that, any day.

I have always been a flighty person. I get bored easily, give up easily, and let go easily. I jump from one interest to the other the way a regular person changes socks (apologies to my two ex husbands!) The fact that I have stayed, and GROWN with Judaism is amazing to me. With all the restrictions, rules, chumras, etc. I've not only stuck with it, I've gone deeper and deeper. I am a much better person than I ever would have been otherwise.

octopus

Wed, Sep 27 2017, 8:43 am

amother wrote:

This sounds so christian. I'm so sorry this is what you grew up with (?). I don't live with this fear in my daily life (maybe I should? Twisted Evil

) .

L25

Wed, Sep 27 2017, 8:44 am

frantic frummie- couldn't help notice that you wrote two ex husbands, are you actually divorced now? I remember you posting that that was your hope but just trying to figure out a plan? I'm happy for you that it sounds like you have moved forward. Wishing you much hatlzacha and nachas ruach in the next chapter of your life!

simba

Wed, Sep 27 2017, 9:14 am

I feel so fortunate to have a path to take and that I don't have to rely on my instincts, moods and media for a moral compass. I am FFB and not really the naturally spiritual type (quite the contrary) I am very tempted by the "outside world" and am glad that I do not have it available to me as I don't think I would be proud of who I was if I did.

Some things that inspire me:
1. How detailed Hashem is. It gives me that sense that I know Torah is true because Halacha really covers everything (down to the order you cut your nails) and that is a sign of realness to me. I see that in other religions you have the times you are being religious but on a whole you live your life. Every moment we live are lives is by the torah.

2. Stories of Tzaddikim. They are beautiful and rich. I feel proud ot be part of this nation.

3. The Chessed I see around me (even on this site)

4. The fact that I am a partner with Hashem in raising my children

Ill think of more later...

InnerMe

Wed, Sep 27 2017, 9:55 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

Wow FF!! I admire you and am inspired by how connected you feel.