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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Kosher Kitchen
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amother
Lavender
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 Thu, Sep 28 2017, 10:30 am
What's the Halacha, if one has an OTD relative living at home, and they say they will follow the rules of kashrus, but they are left on their own to cook their own food? Do the dishes and appliances become non kosher? I know that one can't eat food cooked only by him, a religious person would need to have a part of the cooking. But what is the status of the dishes and appliances if he cooks there unattended?
Thanks!
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amother
Slateblue
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Thu, Sep 28 2017, 12:13 pm
For the halacha, ask a shaila.
In terms of how much to trust the person, I would look at the bigger picture of your relationship with the person.
If, religious differences notwithstanding, this person cares deeply about you and respects you, and has a strong track record of respecting boundaries, being honest and reliable, and taking responsibility for their own behavior and mistakes, then I would think you could trust them with this also, even though it may not be meaningful to them personally.
If, on the other hand, he or she often breaks promises, makes excuses, fails to take responsibility, deflects ("What's the big deal, nobody got hurt?"), exhibits impulsive behavior, lies to avoid conflict, or similar, then I would not trust them to keep the kitchen kosher or to tell you when they make a mistake (as everyone does sometimes).
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Ruchel
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Thu, Sep 28 2017, 1:39 pm
Some can only eat if they are shomer, or head covered (yes this shocked me to the core because it would prevent you from eat at some chief rabbi's etc).
For shalom bayis though there have been kulos even by charedi rabbanim.
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amother
Burlywood
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Thu, Sep 28 2017, 3:12 pm
Xdh used our kitchen when no more religious. Consequently his siblings no longer came to eat at our house. Even though a Rov whom they went to ask a sheiloh said they may.
I asked that rov to after someone commented xdh cooking may be a problem. The rov told me I should try and turn the gas on for him.... which I know would push him further away as he's respectful and a mensch. I asked another rov ( a very clever person) who said I shouldn't shouldn't make a fuss about that. Which I'm my opinion is better. I choose my battles of what needed to be made an issue of.
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