Need a hashkafa/emunah boost

amother

Cyan

Mon, Oct 23 2017, 11:20 am

My husband and I are simple people, we don't spend extravagantly. We have operated a Torah home, we have done our best to be upstanding, ehrlich, doing chessed and giving tzedaka. We come from a solid Torah hashkafa where we have both done a lot of hishtadlus to be able to support ourselves, and live within our means. We've seen lots of siyatta dishmaya in our lives and while we are "boteach baHahem" that He will continue to provide However, "crisis" after "Crisis" keeps coming up and whenever we think we've come up with the answer, the gap never seems to close. One of the biggest problems we are facing is tuition--and we are getting financial aid. I'm even learning with a Torah Mate who's learning in order to keep her children in yeshiva and they are helping her with tuition, thus it would be ridiculous for us to even consider public school. I was just learning with her a section about avoiding debt and living withing your means. And its like, right now we've put Sept and Oct tuition on a credit card, and our car just died and we need that vehicle if nothing else to get to work. My husband left kollel and put his plans for working as klei kodesh on hold because a great work opportunity came up--but its still not enough. Its like Hashem what do You want for us? We are trying so hard to do YOUR will but we are not getting the means to do so?? I myself am in a great working environment, but the finances are just not adding up. We don't understand why we can never make the ends meet. L'Hashem hayeshua--but we don't seem to be getting anywhere!

simba

Mon, Oct 23 2017, 11:27 am

Don't think about how you will ever get there. Push through one day at a time and daven that it will get easier.
The big picture is scarier then today's tasks.
If it helps we are all struggling with paying tuition for our kids. A frum lifestyle is extremely expensive and the numbers DO NOT EVER ADD UP!

Hashem has to provide and he always does.

amother

Cyan

Mon, Oct 23 2017, 11:31 am

simba wrote:

Thank you. I guess one thing I've told myself is that "Hashem approves credit and loans too" but what "hurts" in our situation is that as much as we've done hishtadlus and even if we were just "earning up to our potential" we wouldn't been in as big of a mess as we are. Its an aveirah to "take a loan" and not know how to pay it back. We've been in this situation practically our WHOLE marriage and its hard to say its something we DID wrong. Its like we got a yeshua and I was led to believe that it was a positive "omen" if you will, so I made a bold decision, but since then its like one big expense after another has been coming our way and I'm so confused if I made the right decision.

Mommyg8

Mon, Oct 23 2017, 12:12 pm

I often see articles about mesilah, and about spending responsibly, in local publications. I really wonder sometimes which audience they are addressing. Most people I know are barely making it through the month, and true, maybe they spend a little extravagantly at times, but really, any of these "extras" are just a drop in the bucket, anyway. So, I really wonder sometimes, why they bother?

amother

Puce

Mon, Oct 23 2017, 1:05 pm

I'm sorry if you are already doing this, but have already upped your power in the area of davening? Learning sefarim on bitachon, and concentrating on certain parts of tefillah have a great influence on opening the gates of parnassah. If you would like me to elaborate on which areas of tefillah to increase your concentration, I would be happy to do so when I have a little more time. Let me know. Keep your chin up, the most important thing is not to despair, just keep turning to the One to whom all riches belong.