S/O- One of Us | Imamother

amother

Blue

Thu, Oct 26 2017, 11:32 am

One of the scenes in the movie has a Hasidic man talking to Luzer (watch the clip below). Does anyone know who the Hasidic man is? Do you think that he was being sincere or was it just a setup for the cameras? What do you think about this scene?

From Yakov Horowitz--

text and subtext of their conversation -- (my "mefarshim/commentary" has a YH for clarity)
starting at 0:16
Friend -- -- "did you come back to see your hometown?"
Luzer -- "Yes, I live in LA"
F -- "Do you have a life?"
L -- "surprisingly I do"
L -- I'm a different person (YH -- this friend obviously knew Luzer back in the day when he was, well, you know.......)
Friend -- looks at him as if to say, "yeah, right"
L -- "let's put it this way, I've mellowed"
Friend -- smiles (YH -- not really sold that he's mellowed.)
L -- "I'm not an a***** (I muted this part)
L -- I've never been an a*****
(YH; this part of the exchange is really hysterical)
F -- (breaks into a huge smile and says), "I don't know about that!"
L -- laughs (YH -- as if to say, "you have a point...")
Short pause
L -- "Do you care if I'm happy or not?"
F -- (gets deadly serious and says emphatically) "YES"
F -- I told you back then (YH; when Luzer was a teenager, "back then" that this friend always was concerned that Luzer be happy [as opposed to only being concerned about his level of religious observance])
L -- "That's why I only got along with you and Chaim Mayer" (YH -- because you weren't judgmental. [I'd really like to meet this Chaim Mayer fellow.])
F -- I won't judge you on what you do with your life. Whatever path you chose in life, let Him (YH -- friend points to heaven, as if to say, "let God deal with it.")
(YH -- at this point, it seems that the non-judgmental attitude of his friend gets Luzer to reflect a bit.)
(YH -- no sound here -- it seems like the friend pointed to his place of business, meaning he needs to go to work. The friend makes a motion with his hand like he is counting money. Luzer gives him a full smile and playfully mimics the motions of his friend.)
YH -- as this segment ends, the sound goes to the next part, the Kiddush of the Shabbos meal
Lots and lots to discuss about this exchange. tonight 7 pm FaceBook Live

https://www.facebook.com/yakov.....group

amother

Azure

Thu, Oct 26 2017, 11:36 am

"Let G-d deal with it" may come across a tad judgy. Why the reference to G-d , juxtaposed to whatever else they're talking about....the mention of G-d , at least to me, has an edge to it, however subtle or mild.

Zehava

Thu, Oct 26 2017, 11:38 am

Knowing the guy I'm pretty sure this was spontaneous. No need to read into it so
Much.

amother

Azure

Thu, Oct 26 2017, 11:40 am

"Let G-d deal with it" insinuates there's a wrongdoing here, and someone other than I will handle it.

amother

Seashell

Thu, Oct 26 2017, 11:42 am

If it was a set-up it would have been set-up better. It looked edited - in othewords we didn't get the full dialogue, but what we did get wasn't scripted.

It was touching.

Kiwi13

Thu, Oct 26 2017, 11:43 am

amother wrote:

Nah, I don’t think so. Not in general anyway. That all depends on how the individual people in the conversation might take it. I think the friend is just saying it’s not his place to judge and he’s going to accept L and not let this stuff interfere with their relationship. Sounds like they’ve known each other for a long time. He probably knew whether or not L would mind that comment and how he’d internalize it.

ETA: it’s pretty obvious these two people practice differently and have different beliefs. Saying “let G-d deal with it” doesn’t necessarily mean “I’m right and you’re wrong and G-d will get you.” It could just mean, “we’re both trying our best and G-d understands and will deal with each of us kindly in the way we need to be dealt with.”

Last edited by Kiwi13 on Thu, Oct 26 2017, 11:47 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Seashell

Thu, Oct 26 2017, 11:46 am

amother wrote:

"Let G-d deal with it" insinuates there's a wrongdoing here, and someone other than I will handle it.

Well ya - its known in that community that Luzer isn't living a frum life (neither chassidish, nor frum). That is wrongdoing if your belief set is the Torah.

How to treat someone like this a theme of the film.

SixOfWands

Thu, Oct 26 2017, 11:54 am

Kiwi13 wrote:

ETA: it’s pretty obvious these two people practice differently and have different beliefs. Saying “let G-d deal with it” doesn’t necessarily mean “I’m right and you’re wrong and G-d will get you.” It could just mean, “we’re both trying our best and G-d understands and will deal with each of us kindly in the way we need to be dealt with.”

You said it better than I could, so I'll quote.

It seems that they were friends. They are friends. And Luzer's Friend (LF) accepts Luzer the way he is, and leaves the judgment to Hashem. While Luzer accepts his friend's way of doing things as well, and keeps his judgment to himself.

amother

Blue

Thu, Oct 26 2017, 12:16 pm

Zehava wrote:

Knowing the guy I'm pretty sure this was spontaneous. No need to read into it so
Much.

How do you know him? Why do you say that it was spontaneous and not a setup? And is it true that he is estranged from his own kids (from a previous marriage), two of whom are OTD or not chasidish themselves?

Zehava

Thu, Oct 26 2017, 3:32 pm

amother wrote:

Seriously amother? You want me to gossip with you and give you private info about someone when I'm under my SN and you're anonymous?

SixOfWands

Thu, Oct 26 2017, 3:49 pm

amother wrote:

The guy was caught on camera saying a fast hello to an old friend, who happens to be OTD.

That doesn't give you the right to start gossiping about him, and spreading rumors, or whatever it is that you're doing.

Does it matter? Does it change your life?

Leave the guy alone.

HonesttoGod

Mon, Oct 30 2017, 11:42 am

I actually felt like this guy proved against the point the film was trying to make (to me anyway).
The whole thing is how crappy their life is and how awful they are being treated but this guy was just being a nice normal person catching up with someone they haven't seen in a while and honestly said he doesn't care what he is like now, it isn't his problem it is between L and G-d.

amother

Seashell

Mon, Oct 30 2017, 11:44 am

HonesttoGod wrote:

He demonstrated the logical principle of 'the exception proves the rule".

amother

Plum

Mon, Oct 30 2017, 11:58 am

HonesttoGod wrote:

Wow- that's a gigantic leap you're taking. So we agree the point of the documentary was to demonstrate how difficult it is for people within the group to leave the group and thrive in the secular world. We have Etty, who hardly sees her 7 children, someone deliberately ran into her with their car, she is estranged from her family, then we have the 18 year old kid who was molested, who is struggling to find his way, Luzer doesn't have contact with his 2 kids, none of these people have education or decent jobs, and you're saying that the fact that the older chassid was willing to say hello to Luzer shows that life isn't miserable for these ex chassidim? I thought the over point of life being very difficult for those that chose to leave was very clear.

debsey

Mon, Oct 30 2017, 2:41 pm

amother wrote:

He demonstrated the logical principle of 'the exception proves the rule".

....which is a perfect example of a logical fallacy.......