How have you helped your inattentive (add) child?

fish

Sun, Oct 29 2017, 4:57 pm

Hi, im looking for suggestions on how to help my inattentive child at school. The school is pretty clueless about how to help. Tia

amother

Bronze

Sun, Oct 29 2017, 5:16 pm

fish wrote:

Hi, im looking for suggestions on how to help my inattentive child at school. The school is pretty clueless about how to help. Tia

I’ll be following.

Happydance

Sun, Oct 29 2017, 5:26 pm

Have him engage in "heavy work" before going to school like riding his bike, going on swings, pushing a heavy stroller,

imasinger

Sun, Oct 29 2017, 5:36 pm

At school, he should sit near the rebbe/teacher, he should have checklists to help him manage his tasks, he should get lots of positive feedback for staying on task.

Are you medicating,?

amother

Cerulean

Sun, Oct 29 2017, 6:19 pm

rlm wrote:

Have him engage in "heavy work" before going to school like riding his bike, going on swings, pushing a heavy stroller,

Above sounds more helpful for hyperactivity than inattentiveness but not sure.

How I've helped my now-high-school, inattentive dd:
- Advocate advocate advocate for her without alienating the school. Explain to teachers that she is motivated to try when she believes she can succeed but loses interest when it is clear she's being asked too much. Then, we figure out together what she is responsible for and what she can skip for tests. I even had her principal agree to excuse her from all homework at one point because I explained how badly she needed time after school to unwind when she's trying so hard to stay focused in school.
- Involved her in after-school activities that focus on her strengths so she can feel like a success and her self esteem isn't destroyed during school years.
- Constantly compliment her empathy, her intelligence (she is really smart in putting stuff together, finding out-of-the-box solutions), her creativity... and all the other wonderful parts of her, to further help her see herself as a smart, successful person.
- Pray she survives school so she can thrive in life afterwards!

It's a tough journey. Hatzlacha.

fish

Sun, Oct 29 2017, 8:42 pm

imasinger wrote:

Are you medicating,?

We are not against medicating but have not made that decision yet

wantavaca

Sun, Oct 29 2017, 9:02 pm

Medicate.

amother

Chocolate

Sun, Oct 29 2017, 10:54 pm

medication and tutoring
and her understanding why she needs it
she's very smart - knows more then most but pays attention to too much losing what the teacher is saying

amother

Amber

Mon, Oct 30 2017, 8:00 am

I've medicated some years and skipped others. This year he is in grade 7 and was struggling tremendously to grasp gemarah. Since his skill level is ok, and we restarted meds under his doctor's guidance , he is doing so well. His learning at home and ability to do homework, is also improved.

When Rebetzin Spetner from Israel, gives her parenting classes, she says a few sentences about medicating when needed. She says it can save the kid's life. I agree fully. Sometimes, they need to learn skills and by medicating them we help them focus and learn skills that help them later in life. She emphasises it is not a lifetime decision but it can be a decision for right now. Also, consider that the child themselves may be suffering from their lack of focus and truly wants that help. If there is truly a chemical imbalance , then all these other things wont be the only fix. Expecting such a child to fully control attention is like telling a diabetic to produce insulin....

Hatzlacha!

fish

Mon, Oct 30 2017, 10:59 am

Beyond medicating what are somethings that would help in school? OT? Oraganizer?

amother

Babyblue

Mon, Oct 30 2017, 11:15 am

amother wrote:

Above sounds more helpful for hyperactivity than inattentiveness but not sure

It is helpful for hyperactive as well
But it is very regulating for inattentive
Definitely seek ot help

amother

Oak

Thu, Nov 02 2017, 3:31 pm

Make sure your child sits right up front in the first row, and on the side of the room away from the windows. I don't know how many years of my life I wasted daydreaming at school (I have ADHD). This made a huge difference.

If your child agrees (ask first), make a discrete sign with the rebbe to keep your child on track - like a brief tap on the corner of his desk if it looks like he's really not focused (not every time, that would be too much).

See if there is something he can do during class which allows him to physically interact with what he's listening to - for instance, if the teacher is reading from a book or sefer in class, have your child underline the text in pencil (it's erasable so it doens't deface anything).

You can get a ADHD coach who can help maybe.