Listening to advice

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Forum -> Judaism -> Halachic Questions and Discussions

Listening to advice

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amother

Burgundy

Mon, Nov 13 2017, 3:00 am

I'm just curious, if your husband got advice for you (not on a strict Halacha question, but on a daily life situation) and then he told you and you didn't think the advice would be good for you. If your husband says you could do something else , do you still need to listen to the advice or is it ok to just let your husband help you to do what it is that you want to do?

amother

Orange

Mon, Nov 13 2017, 3:19 am

I don't understand the question.

Iymnok

Mon, Nov 13 2017, 4:16 am

You should ask yourself. If it's hadracha, not clear cut halacha, you need to have clarity and tools for your own decision.

salt

Mon, Nov 13 2017, 5:51 am

Why should you have to follow any advice. Are you worried about offending the person who gave you the advice?
Did you ask your husband to get advice for you?
Didn't quite follow.
Sounds like you could take it or leave it. If you think your husband's advice or your way of dealing with this situation is better for you than the advice given, just do it your way.

Is it that you are you worried that you've got advice from a rabbinical authority, and you want to do otherwise?
If it's not halacha, you can probably do it however you want. Unless you think that person giving the advice is greatly wiser than you, and probably knows better, then might be better to take his/her advice. But then that's your decision.

I think my answer is more complicated than the original question!

amother

Teal

Mon, Nov 13 2017, 7:29 am

Before the 90s most boys didn't learn halacha like girls did, today's days they do. But if a posek says something and your husband doesn't have smicha then you listen to the posek unless it will cause sholem bayis issues I would ask that posek again.

imasoftov

Mon, Nov 13 2017, 7:57 am

amother wrote:

Without knowing more about the question on which OP received second-hand advice "not on a strict Halacha question" it's rather hard to tell if either sentence of your post is applicable to her or not.

PinkFridge

Mon, Nov 13 2017, 8:55 am

I thought that the point of asking for an eitzah vs. a psak is that it's not binding.

Now if you have a situation that needs clarification, I can understand your husband wanting to bounce things off of someone older and/or wiser. I can understand him sharing it with you. But if it impacts you, you should be part of the discussion. Maybe you can both talk to the eitzah giver together?

Hatzlacha!

iyar

Mon, Nov 13 2017, 9:31 am

imasoftov wrote:

This.

Was the Rav giving you a psak halacha? It sounds like that's not the case.
If he was offering you guidance (but not specifically a psak din) you're not obligated to do what he said. Even if it was a halachic matter, if what he told you to do is hard for you, you can call him to discuss this further, especially because it's going to have an impact on your life and you're not the one who presented the problem to him in the first place.

Mommyg8

Mon, Nov 13 2017, 9:32 am

You are not required to listen to "advice" from a Rav. It's completely optional.

If you are asking for advice, and you trust the person that you are asking, then it's probably a GOOD IDEA to follow what you are told, but if your husband asked ... well, that would probably go into the category of shalom bayis, IMO.