Anxiety and/or Depression?

lavenderchimes

Thu, Nov 16 2017, 2:53 pm

amother wrote:

My 7 yr old son just started telling us that he feels sad, that he doesn't know why. He wakes up feeling happy and then starts feeling sad again. He says he can't explain it well. He is crying more than usual and seems more worried than usual. This is a new thing.

If anyone can provide advice as to how to best approach this (based on personal experience) that would be appreciated.

Please try not to alarm me more than necessary.

Thank you.

I was that kid, but I never spoke to anyone. It's GOOD that your son is talking to you about it! Try to keep your reactions calm, so that he feels comfortable continuing to discuss it with you.

What should you do? IMO, you should get him to a professional who can help figure out what is going on. It's really your choice who that is. You could start by seeing if the school uses anyone. If you don't want the school involved right now, look for someone privately who will take your insurance. Once you understand why this is happening, you can figure out how to handle it.

My guess is that you will get advice NOT to see a professional, but to try to handle this yourselves. Please think carefully before you take this route. It is true that you MIGHT be able to figure out what it wrong, but you also might accidentaly make things worse. If you push and say the wrong thing, he might not talk to you about it any more. I urge you to think of this like any physical problem with your son -- if he started complaining of terrible pain in his head and arm, would you try to take care of it at home? I bet you'd take him to a professional pretty quickly. This is no different.

If you do decide to wait it out, put a time limit on it. Don't let this drag on while your son suffers.

Don't be alarmed -- you just need to find out what's doing with your son. Hatzlacha!

amother

Natural

Thu, Nov 16 2017, 3:55 pm

I was depressed when I was that age. Depression looks different in children than in adults. But, it is also very treatable.

Please, please, please bring your son to an experienced and recommended child psychologist. Ask your pediatrician for a recommendation if you don't know where to start (yo udon't even need to go to the pediatrician for an appt, you can ask the office to recommend or leave a message). Therapy helped me so much, I was fine by the next year, didn't need medication or anything. Well worth it. Wish my parents had taken me sooner than they did when I first started being like this (they only waited a few months, I don't blame them, they didn't know what to do either, and they did get me the help I needed in the end).

I also recommend getting him evaluated for learning disabilities / ADD, etc., as this is a prime age and/or point in the school year where mild cases turn up because the kids are finally doing 'serious' school work, and sometimes even the kids who get good grades are struggling on the inside.

Usually, depression in this age is due to underlying circumstances, usually nothing terrible - difficulties in school, difficulties with friends, difficulties at home. Because they are often circumstantial, therapy is extremely helpful in teaching the child coping techniques for their feelings (something many children don't know how to do themselves at this age, but can be easily taught) and then addressing the external factors. For example, if social difficulties, teaching some extra social skills (the psychologist can often do this themselves). Or for learning disabilities or ADD, accommodations for the classroom/homework and learning skills to compensate. Or for difficulties at home, working with the family as well.

It's so good you are attuned to your son and want to get him help. My parents got me help and it really saved me.

lavenderchimes

Thu, Nov 16 2017, 4:10 pm

amother wrote:

Wow, this is such a great story -- thanks for sharing:) You reminded me of some things that I neglected to say:

Because I didn't talk to my parents about it, it wasn't treated. My parents figured out somehong was wrong because I started having trouble in school (plus other issues,) and I saw a psychologist and had all kinds of tests done by many Dr.'s. Unfortunately, because I wouldn't talk about my feelings, no one could figure out what to do.

I was finally diagnosed with ADD at age 12. But because I still wouldn't talk about my feelings, I wasn't treated for depression and anxiety until I was well into high school. By then, the problems were completely out of control -- I have spent my entire adult life trying to sort out what could have been dealt with when I was a child.

The fact that your son is able and willing to discuss his feelings with you is a blessing, and a testament to you as a good parent. You have an opportunity to help your son that my parents didn't have. Don't take this gift for granted!