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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
Alternative name for Avos Ubanim
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Gitch




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 16 2017, 10:47 pm
I remember reading somewhere about some shuls that are calling their father/son learning program by a different name to be more inclusive of boys without fathers. I can't remember what term was used instead, but I like the idea and want to bring it up in our shul.
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yehudis1056




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 16 2017, 10:51 pm
Darchai in far Rockaway calls it dor l'dor
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rikki 1




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 16 2017, 10:52 pm
Well, how does it work without the fathers?? My son has this issue. He has a father bh but they don't get along so well and my husband is not living at home.
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yehudis1056




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 16 2017, 10:53 pm
rikki 1 wrote:
Well, how does it work without the fathers?? My son has this issue. He has a father bh but they don't get along so well and my husband is not living at home.


Boys can learn with a grandfather uncle or family friend etc
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 16 2017, 11:04 pm
Last year it was called learn and earn this year motzei menucha. The flyer says come with a father or a chavrusa.
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Gitch




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 16 2017, 11:08 pm
Is it embarrassing for the boys if we change the name? Meaning, they know it was changed because of them?
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amother
Aqua


 

Post Thu, Nov 16 2017, 11:10 pm
My neighborhood calls it Kol Han'arim.
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Kiwi13




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 17 2017, 12:26 am
I think BRS in Boca Raton, FL calls it “V’shinantam.”
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amother
Sapphire


 

Post Fri, Nov 17 2017, 5:51 am
By us it's called dor l'dor. its also open to daughters.
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JoyInTheMorning




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 17 2017, 5:56 am
A radical thought: Boys can learn with their mothers as well! If it encourages women to get up to speed on what their sons are learning, so much the better.

I like the name dor l'dor.
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amother
Sapphire


 

Post Fri, Nov 17 2017, 6:00 am
JoyInTheMorning wrote:
A radical thought: Boys can learn with their mothers as well! If it encourages women to get up to speed on what their sons are learning, so much the better.

I like the name dor l'dor.


It's open to mothers too. It's marketed as adults and children learning together.
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etky




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 17 2017, 6:09 am
In our yishuv it's called Limud Horim Ve-yeladim.
The school runs a similar once a month program and it's called V'shinantam.
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 17 2017, 9:27 am
Gitch wrote:
Is it embarrassing for the boys if we change the name? Meaning, they know it was changed because of them?


I know a school that used to have a "Mothers and Daughters Dinner" that is now called "Shalsheles." It could be that the few girls did feel weird that it was because of them, but future years probably thanked them.
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amother
Peach


 

Post Fri, Nov 17 2017, 9:30 am
JoyInTheMorning wrote:
A radical thought: Boys can learn with their mothers as well! If it encourages women to get up to speed on what their sons are learning, so much the better.

I like the name dor l'dor.


My shul has a father/child learning program that's on Shabbos afternoon on long shabbasim and on motzai Shabbos on short shabbasim. There was a vote held amongst the women whether we'd like to have a mother/child learning program and the overwhelming consensus was no because we deal with homework all week long and that is quite enough.
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amother
Bisque


 

Post Fri, Nov 17 2017, 9:39 am
our community just switched it to kol n'arim. wasn't sure why since it's only for boys but now I undersand
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amother
Sapphire


 

Post Fri, Nov 17 2017, 9:43 am
amother wrote:
My shul has a father/child learning program that's on Shabbos afternoon on long shabbasim and on motzai Shabbos on short shabbasim. There was a vote held amongst the women whether we'd like to have a mother/child learning program and the overwhelming consensus was no because we deal with homework all week long and that is quite enough.


That's exactly why I love the program. All week homework is a chore. This is learning lishma. It brings the joy back to it, instead of being a time to nag.
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amother
Fuchsia


 

Post Fri, Nov 17 2017, 10:25 am
I live in Baltmore. Th vaad harabanim of Baltimore recently announced a name change - it is now called Kol hane'arim. Meaning 'all the boys' not 'voice of hte boys' = Kol with a caf, not a kuf.

the reason given ws so that boys without fathers to learn with dont feel left out.
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saw50st8




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 17 2017, 10:40 am
Our shul calls it "Parent/Child Learning" but encourages anyone who wants to come to learn with anyone who wants to learn.
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 17 2017, 11:05 am
In my community (Chicago) it is not run by the shul but it is a division of Pirchei programming for boys. Its housed at different shuls in the community. My husband said he saw older boys learning with chavrusas instead of a parent or other adult.

I think its a really nice way for my husband and son to spend a hour together during the week. I am happy for them to go and dont feel insulted that I am not included.

One local shul has a mother daughter learning program on Sunday mornings and I think its really nice. I would love to see more shuls do that but I only have boys so its not so relevant for me these days.
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 17 2017, 11:31 am
Rabbi Bender wrote an op-ed about this in Mishpacha.

if one kid from a non-traditional family is hurt even once by the term "Avos U'Banim" the whole endeavour is not worth it.

Calling it "V'shinantam" or "MiDor L'Dor" or "Shalsheles" doesn't make that kid who shows up with his uncle, his big brother, the nice guy on his block who takes an interest in him, or his tutor - feel different.

It's just basic sensitivity, and as "Rachmanim B'nei Rachmanim" I think it behooves us to have that sensitivity.

As usual, Rabbi Bender is 100% correct.
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