Who do you love more?

amother

Cerise

Sat, Nov 18 2017, 6:21 pm

I think that when my children were little, I would have definitely said that I love my children more. But now that my children are getting older, and starting to get more independent... it's not that I love my children less, but it's that they will have to become independent and start their own lives, and Mommy hanging on to them will not be healthy for them...

It's not that I don't love them, but my relationship with husband is turning into more of a priority at this point in my life.

Motherhood

Sat, Nov 18 2017, 6:46 pm

Zehava wrote:

What do you mean by choose?
Choose to save? Kids
Choose to spend time with? Husband
Choose to spend the rest of my life with on a daily basis? Husband
Different kind of love

There! You got it to the T

amother

Brunette

Sat, Nov 18 2017, 6:53 pm

Is it just me but the question gave me the chills - I guess because I translated it as - if I could save one, which would I choose?
I love them both - immensely.
I guess I need my husband more but I love them both -differently obviously but not one more or less

amother

cornflower

Sat, Nov 18 2017, 8:01 pm

amother wrote:

I have a toddler and my initial reaction was my child but after reading other people's responses it got me thinking if maybe I'll feel differently after he gets a bit older and then I read your response. I wonder if my answer will change once he's older.

amother

Purple

Sat, Nov 18 2017, 8:04 pm

There are certain questions you don’t ask. This is one of them. I’m shocked that people are answering.

amother

cornflower

Sat, Nov 18 2017, 8:32 pm

amother wrote:

There are certain questions you don’t ask. This is one of them. I’m shocked that people are answering.

why? Because you feel like you love them both equally? because you feel like admitting the answer is a betrayal? because you feel like it's WRONG to love one more- or to say it?

trixx

Sat, Nov 18 2017, 10:13 pm

amother wrote:

why? Because you feel like you love them both equally? because you feel like admitting the answer is a betrayal? because you feel like it's WRONG to love one more- or to say it?

I think she probably means, don't tempt the devil
Al yiftach adam piv lsatan

Iymnok

Sat, Nov 18 2017, 11:15 pm

If you say you love your kids more, how old are they? How many?

How long have you been married? Did you go through much together? Did you have to work hard on your marriage?

yo'ma

Sun, Nov 19 2017, 5:04 am

Like others said, it's a different kind of love. One is a choice and one is nature. Like my 9 year old always says, I love you because you are my mother and you love me because I am your son. With my husband, it's not because he is my husband, it's more than that.

Butterfly

Sun, Nov 19 2017, 6:15 am

amother wrote:

It depends what day you made me make that choice. Some days it's husband and some days kids.

Butterfly

Sun, Nov 19 2017, 6:25 am

Zehava wrote:

What do you mean by choose?
Choose to save? Kids
Choose to spend time with? Husband
Choose to spend the rest of my life with on a daily basis? Husband
Different kind of love

Hopefully Hashem would never give us this challenge because I could never choose to sacrifice one over the other.
My choice would be to sacrifice myself instead!

amother

Goldenrod

Sun, Nov 19 2017, 5:55 pm

I think the answer changes as the kids get older, get married, and make their own lives.
Once all the kids are married then you concentrate more on taking care of each other, and this increases love.
Married 30 Yrs and everyday I love DH more.
My love for my kids is constant, immense, but constant.
Hard to describe.

Kiwi13

Sun, Nov 19 2017, 7:05 pm

amother wrote:

There are certain questions you don’t ask. This is one of them. I’m shocked that people are answering.

When I was a little kid an older cousin asked me who I loved more, my mother or my father. That’s inappropriate, in my opinion, because it messes with a little kid’s mind to start thinking in those terms. (Of course in that case my older cousin was only a few years older than me, so it’s not unheard of). This thread is kind of thought provoking. I still disagree with the premise of the question being discussed (that it’s eveb possible to compare these types of love), but I wouldn’t call it “inappropriate.” If people want to answer then they will. If not, not.