Why do the rich only want to marry each other?

southernbubby

Mon, Nov 20 2017, 11:39 am

amother wrote:

I definitely find this to be true for the most part. Of course there are always exceptions everywhere. I (as a lower income person) wouldn't want to be or feel indebted to anyone. Imagine always hearing things along the lines of "it's all my side that put in money for xyz,"
or imagine if the richer side gets resentful.....

similar culture as well, they are used to similar things.

I work in the secular world and this is just as common there. Rich with another rich, intellectual Phd with someone the same, etc. etc.

You won't find a doctor or a lawyer or a professor marrying the sales woman at the local GAP or wtvr even though there is absolutely nothing wrong with that and she might be a lovely girl.

But I have also seen rich marry poor because of secular culture. They met at college or somewhere else where they could freely socialize.

Mommyg8

Mon, Nov 20 2017, 11:41 am

amother wrote:

I would think its even more prevalent in the secular world. In that world, people live in communities and go to school and college only with people from the same socio-economic world. In our community, we're all in the same communities and the same schools, so there's more of a chance of finding your zivug from a different income bracket...

That said, I think both the rich and the poor would prefer to do shidduchim only with those with similar income brackets. The rich feel that the poor are just not on their level (let's face it, it's true), and the poor don't necessarily want to go into a shidduch where they will be the ones looked down on (also true).

amother

Blush

Mon, Nov 20 2017, 11:46 am

Growing up, my family was what I would consider "comfortable", but not wealthy. We had whatever we needed, and could afford some luxuries as well. My parents had a negative attitude towards any shidduch that came up where the boy was from a wealthy family. They felt that he would not be idealistic enough, he might be spoiled, and just not compatible...
Now, fast forward 11 years.... We're completely poverty stricken, unable to pay our bills, and therefore living a very stressful life!! Sad

Though I am bH happily married, I often wonder what life would be like if I would've married one of those guys from wealthy families.... Perhaps life would be a whole lot simpler... but maybe not. who knows...

southernbubby

Mon, Nov 20 2017, 12:18 pm

amother wrote:

But as believers in Hashem, we know that you married the person that was your bashert and that parnassa is also from Hashem and we don't know why he gives more to some than to others.

tryinghard

Mon, Nov 20 2017, 12:57 pm

amother wrote:

Who knows? Maybe his family would have lost all their wealth. If it's one's lot in life to not have material wealth, there's no circumventing that [she types, as she tries to figure out how to pay for XYX LOL

]

33055

Mon, Nov 20 2017, 1:02 pm

amother wrote:

Unless someone is attractive. Then the rich person will cross socio economic lines. Let's face it, attractiveness is a currency.

acemom

Mon, Nov 20 2017, 1:14 pm

amother wrote:

Wealthy family does not mean that YOU would've had more. There is more of a chance of higher expectations and lifestyle without having the means when coming from a family that has money.

amother

Plum

Mon, Nov 20 2017, 2:22 pm

I know someone who struggles financially who's son got engaged to a wonderful girl from a wealthy home. This mother was saying how stupid she felt with all the gifts she gave her future daughter in law, eg: the ring, flowers etc. She felt like everything she gave was almost a joke in the eyes of this rich girl and her family. At the wedding she probably also felt uncomfortable knowing that her mechutanim paid for the vast majority. (She was not looking for money, but this was the most suitable girl for her son.)

amother

Babypink

Mon, Nov 20 2017, 8:40 pm

amother wrote:

So what? That embarrassment is a tiny trade off if that will ensure that her son has better financial security for life.

Obviously money shouldn't be a big factor, but I find this thread amusing. Financial security is huge. If all else is equal, I think someone is crazy to turn down a good shidduch because they don't want money.

Mommyg8

Mon, Nov 20 2017, 8:55 pm

amother wrote:

Why would you think that marrying rich would equal financial security for life? Genuinely wondering...

And financial security comes in all shapes and sizes. A capable couple with good mazal can have great financial security (which they will have earned on their own!) even if they don't come from rich families.