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S/O what's great about being a woman?
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DVOM




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2017, 9:01 pm
I love being a woman!

I think I would probably fall on the feminine, traditional gender roles side of the spectrum. I love looking pretty and smelling nice. I love when my husband tells me how beautiful I am, or just follows me with his eyes so that I know he's thinking about how beautiful I am. I love feeling cared for and protected and cherished and loved by the men in my life. I love being able to scream really loud when I see a bug and having my husband and 4 sons come running. I love having doors held open for me and cups of coffee and tea made for me and thermostats lowered and highered to keep me comfortable. I love being led into the house half asleep at the end of long drives and being tucked into bed while my guys unpack the car. I love that my husband keeps my car filled with gas. I make the money in our family right now but I don't feel the pressure of managing or budgeting it. I don't pay any bills.I even love the luxury of having a good long cry every now and then.

I love being a mother. I love to cook and serve meals to my men. I love making our home beautiful and warm and welcoming. I love listening carefully to my earnest little men while they painstakingly explain how lightbulbs or car engines or backhoes work. I love painting and drawing and creating with them (my five year old drew a frog diving into a pool today; I am so in love with this kid!) I love reading to them. I love tucking them in at night and singing with them.
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crust




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2017, 9:04 pm
Love your post DVOM.
(As usual:) )
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Maya




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2017, 9:20 pm
DVOM wrote:
I love being a woman!

I think I would probably fall on the feminine, traditional gender roles side of the spectrum. I love looking pretty and smelling nice. I love when my husband tells me how beautiful I am, or just follows me with his eyes so that I know he's thinking about how beautiful I am. I love feeling cared for and protected and cherished and loved by the men in my life. I love being able to scream really loud when I see a bug and having my husband and 4 sons come running. I love having doors held open for me and cups of coffee and tea made for me and thermostats lowered and highered to keep me comfortable. I love being led into the house half asleep at the end of long drives and being tucked into bed while my guys unpack the car. I love that my husband keeps my car filled with gas. I make the money in our family right now but I don't feel the pressure of managing or budgeting it. I don't pay any bills.I even love the luxury of having a good long cry every now and then.

I love being a mother. I love to cook and serve meals to my men. I love making our home beautiful and warm and welcoming. I love listening carefully to my earnest little men while they painstakingly explain how lightbulbs or car engines or backhoes work. I love painting and drawing and creating with them (my five year old drew a frog diving into a pool today; I am so in love with this kid!) I love reading to them. I love tucking them in at night and singing with them.

But, none of this is inherently about being a woman.
A wife can do all of your first paragraph for her husband, and a father can just as well appreciate all the aspects of motherhood that you enjoy as described in your second paragraph.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2017, 9:33 pm
Maya wrote:
But, none of this is inherently about being a woman.
A wife can do all of your first paragraph for her husband, and a father can just as well appreciate all the aspects of motherhood that you enjoy as described in your second paragraph.


Most things aren’t inherently about being a man or a woman.

For example, if the question would be asked to men, “what do you like about being a man?”

Some might say, I love that I am bigger and stronger then my wife and that she feels protected and loved by me. I love seeing her dress up for me and getting her nails done because I like it. I love paying the bills and buying her things and feeling like I provide for her and care for her. I love being a dad and a role model for my sons. I love taking them to the park and teaching them how to play ball. I love the way it feels when my wife asks me for help when she needs things fixed or bugs killed. I love being her provider and protector... etc......

Another guy might read this and say, “totally not like that for me. My wife is 100 pounds more then me and makes all the money, and I wouldn’t kill a roach if you paid me.”

Really, there is only one thing that only one s-x can do. Become pregnant and birth a child. Only women can do that.
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amother
Lime


 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2017, 9:41 pm
Dvom, nice post but not everyone is so lucky to have such a caring husband...
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DVOM




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2017, 9:46 pm
Maya wrote:
But, none of this is inherently about being a woman.
A wife can do all of your first paragraph for her husband, and a father can just as well appreciate all the aspects of motherhood that you enjoy as described in your second paragraph.


True. But these are still the things that make me feel womanly. You perhaps have other things that you love about being a woman. Mommy3b2c makes a good point (as usual!) that pregnancy and childbirth are really the only things a woman can do that a man cant.
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SuperWify




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2017, 10:02 pm
I love not having to daven with a minyan (or at all) and learn.
I love not worrying about money (even though I make it)
I love buying clothes and makeup and sheitels looking good (and spending money)
I love buying my baby cute clothes and shoes and hats
I love being comforted during a good cry
I love that DH carry’s all the heavy stuff and groceries
I love feeling pretty
I love feeling good for taking care of my boys (the little and big one) even when they are demanding
I love the power I have to say no (no were not having guests for shabbos, no were not having zex tonight and no were not giving our DS a sibling anytime soon- unless you want to carry the baby this time)

On flip side:
-I hate that women have to do 99% of the work ( after his sperm donation that was no pain: period, conceive, carry, deliver, nurse and recover) of bringing kids into this world. Doesn’t seem fair.
- I also don’t love that the cooking, food shopping, errands, cleaning etc - ruinning the home- is also 95% my job

But... all in all I’m glad I’m a woman!
Hey I have imamother, DH wishes he can read this!
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amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2017, 10:40 pm
SuperWify wrote:
I love not having to daven with a minyan (or at all) and learn.
I love not worrying about money (even though I make it)
I love buying clothes and makeup and sheitels looking good (and spending money)
I love buying my baby cute clothes and shoes and hats
I love being comforted during a good cry
I love that DH carry’s all the heavy stuff and groceries
I love feeling pretty
I love feeling good for taking care of my boys (the little and big one) even when they are demanding
I love the power I have to say no (no were not having guests for shabbos, no were not having zex tonight and no were not giving our DS a sibling anytime soon- unless you want to carry the baby this time)

On flip side:
-I hate that women have to do 99% of the work ( after his sperm donation that was no pain: period, conceive, carry, deliver, nurse and recover) of bringing kids into this world. Doesn’t seem fair.
- I also don’t love that the cooking, food shopping, errands, cleaning etc - ruinning the home- is also 95% my job

But... all in all I’m glad I’m a woman!
Hey I have imamother, DH wishes he can read this!


I’m a woman, who is starting to believe that I’m really transgender. (Actually, I always felt a bit that way.). Although I’m a happily married mother and grandmother, even my husband agrees that my aptitude and affinity are more for the male role.

I both make and worry about the money (bills, budgeting, etc.)
I hate spending money, especially on trivial things like clothes and makeup, etc.
I hate crying.
I try to carry all my own packages, and I hate imposing on anyone else (even when they offer).
I take care to look good, because it’s expected/required of a woman, but I’d love to be able to eschew makeup and go out clean and unadorned.
I don’t see that women have any more power to say “No” than men do.

I agree that women have an unfair burden with regard to bringing children into the world and with regard to managing the household.

In addition to women having all the physical disadvantages and the lower status role, we are disenfranchised with regard to Torah and mitzvos, as well. I don’t see how anyone who believes that Torah and mitzvos are the most important things in the world (the purpose of creation) can be fine with being deprived of all the central mitzvos - including those where we do most of the work (e.g. giving birth to and educating our children).

I’m already a well-educated professional, who makes the bulk of our income, davens 3 times a day and goes to shul, whenever possible. I learn as much as I can, and I definitely feel that my husband got a much better deal by being able to sit and learn all day. (Not only did I get the role to which it am less suited, but by subjugating my natural inclination, I get looked down on, as well.). If I had a choice, I would definitely be a man!

The only positive for me about being a woman is DH, whom I love dearly and who is both sympathetic and supportive. He is encouraging me to go back to school for my doctorate (even though I already have a graduate degree, and it would not enhance my income) just because he recognizes how much I need the intellectual stimulation. Unfortunate for me, however, I find the male role much more appealing than the female role.
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InnerMe




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2017, 11:36 pm
DVOM wrote:
I love being a woman!

I think I would probably fall on the feminine, traditional gender roles side of the spectrum. I love looking pretty and smelling nice. I love when my husband tells me how beautiful I am, or just follows me with his eyes so that I know he's thinking about how beautiful I am. I love feeling cared for and protected and cherished and loved by the men in my life. I love being able to scream really loud when I see a bug and having my husband and 4 sons come running. I love having doors held open for me and cups of coffee and tea made for me and thermostats lowered and highered to keep me comfortable. I love being led into the house half asleep at the end of long drives and being tucked into bed while my guys unpack the car. I love that my husband keeps my car filled with gas. I make the money in our family right now but I don't feel the pressure of managing or budgeting it. I don't pay any bills.I even love the luxury of having a good long cry every now and then.

I love being a mother. I love to cook and serve meals to my men. I love making our home beautiful and warm and welcoming. I love listening carefully to my earnest little men while they painstakingly explain how lightbulbs or car engines or backhoes work. I love painting and drawing and creating with them (my five year old drew a frog diving into a pool today; I am so in love with this kid!) I love reading to them. I love tucking them in at night and singing with them.


Super post! I agree. Those are all things that I like about being a women. I guess the theme for me is feeling like there's someone other then myself carrying the "real" burden. And being able to be loved, and give love in it's pure and real form. A cycle of flowing emotions that is like water flowing gently, smoothly, rhythmically. Transferring from ourselves onto others, creating bonds. Yes, the emotional, vulnerable nature of women appeals to me, allows me to really feel and experience the beauties in life. To experience emotions in all colors on the spectrum. I see the magnificent beauty in that.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 21 2017, 5:18 am
I love being taken care of, would probably lose patience with a husband needing to be comforted/taken care of. I have a very strong personality, I'll be the one telling a guy not to talk badly to his wife lol. But yes I enjoy the benefits of men helping, etc, I would hate to have the hardships and none of the perks. Please don't get angry when people want to help you and spoil it for other women... People do not mean it badly when they want to help (the things you hav e to write on Ima....).
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DVOM




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 21 2017, 5:46 am
amother wrote:
Dvom, nice post but not everyone is so lucky to have such a caring husband...


True, though I loved being a woman when I was single too, and many of the same examples still applied to my dad and brothers and male friends/coworkers.

I was thinking a lot about this after I wrote that post: a lot of what I love about being a woman is really what I love about being his woman. That relationship is so defining for me, so central to who I am that it's almost frightening. I think that all very wonderful relationships must have that sobering edge of vulnerability to them. By loving and being loved so completely, we open ourselves up to the potential of terrible loss. A conversation for another time...
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crust




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 21 2017, 5:52 am
DVOM wrote:
True, though I loved being a woman when I was single too, and many of the same examples still applied to my dad and brothers and male friends/coworkers.

I was thinking a lot about this after I wrote that post: a lot of what I love about being a woman is really what I love about being his woman. That relationship is so defining for me, so central to who I am that it's almost frightening. I think that all very wonderful relationships must have that sobering edge of vulnerability to them. By loving and being loved so completely, we open ourselves up to the potential of terrible loss. A conversation for another time...


So true.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 21 2017, 6:08 am
I am beyond grateful to not have to go to minyan every day, to not have to wear talit and tefilin, to not be michuyevet to as many mitzvot that are time bound that men are. My life, as a woman, is already full of so much to do, that would just make it unrealistic to do anything.
I am so grateful for the experience of carrying and birthing (no matter how painful it was) a child. That by itself is enough reason, for me, to say that I am grateful for being a woman. (I say that after 3 years PIF and now still 9+ years SIF, so grateful for that, even if it never happens again.) I am always amazed at how hashem made the female body and what it can do. Its completely awesome.
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amother
Wheat


 

Post Tue, Nov 21 2017, 6:34 am
amother wrote:
I’m a woman, who is starting to believe that I’m really transgender. (Actually, I always felt a bit that way.). Although I’m a happily married mother and grandmother, even my husband agrees that my aptitude and affinity are more for the male role.

I both make and worry about the money (bills, budgeting, etc.)
I hate spending money, especially on trivial things like clothes and makeup, etc.
I hate crying.
I try to carry all my own packages, and I hate imposing on anyone else (even when they offer).
I take care to look good, because it’s expected/required of a woman, but I’d love to be able to eschew makeup and go out clean and unadorned.
I don’t see that women have any more power to say “No” than men do.

I agree that women have an unfair burden with regard to bringing children into the world and with regard to managing the household.

In addition to women having all the physical disadvantages and the lower status role, we are disenfranchised with regard to Torah and mitzvos, as well. I don’t see how anyone who believes that Torah and mitzvos are the most important things in the world (the purpose of creation) can be fine with being deprived of all the central mitzvos - including those where we do most of the work (e.g. giving birth to and educating our children).

I’m already a well-educated professional, who makes the bulk of our income, davens 3 times a day and goes to shul, whenever possible. I learn as much as I can, and I definitely feel that my husband got a much better deal by being able to sit and learn all day. (Not only did I get the role to which it am less suited, but by subjugating my natural inclination, I get looked down on, as well.). If I had a choice, I would definitely be a man!

The only positive for me about being a woman is DH, whom I love dearly and who is both sympathetic and supportive. He is encouraging me to go back to school for my doctorate (even though I already have a graduate degree, and it would not enhance my income) just because he recognizes how much I need the intellectual stimulation. Unfortunate for me, however, I find the male role much more appealing than the female role.


I don't think any of those things are inherently male. But then I grew up with a mother who never wears makeup except maybe for weddings, has a phd and a professional job as well as a very large number of children, grandchildren and great grandchildren who all love her and she loves them. She and my father actually have very similar jobs. My mother definitely did more around the house but she in reality spent very little time cooking, no patchke dishes - everything is quick meals or crockpots.

I don't get any sense from anyone that my mother is less respected then my father. Do you think Hashem respects you less or values your torah and mitzvos less then your husbands? I don't.

I actually think its more of a female trait to provide for your children. How many mothers drink up their salaries? How many divorced fathers do not provide child support while living well themselves?
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amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Tue, Nov 21 2017, 7:17 am
shabbatiscoming wrote:
I am beyond grateful to not have to go to minyan every day, to not have to wear talit and tefilin, to not be michuyevet to as many mitzvot that are time bound that men are. My life, as a woman, is already full of so much to do, that would just make it unrealistic to do anything.
I am so grateful for the experience of carrying and birthing (no matter how painful it was) a child. That by itself is enough reason, for me, to say that I am grateful for being a woman. (I say that after 3 years PIF and now still 9+ years SIF, so grateful for that, even if it never happens again.) I am always amazed at how hashem made the female body and what it can do. Its completely awesome.


I can’t understand how frum women are glad to be deprived of Torah and mitzvos. If you truly believe that Torah and mitzvos are the most important things in the world, then having LESS Torah and FEWER mitzvos makes one LESS important. (Having and educating children are among the mitzvos given to men - not to women!)
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 21 2017, 7:57 am
amother wrote:
I can’t understand how frum women are glad to be deprived of Torah and mitzvos. If you truly believe that Torah and mitzvos are the most important things in the world, then having LESS Torah and FEWER mitzvos makes one LESS important. (Having and educating children are among the mitzvos given to men - not to women!)


We are not commanded to have children, but we get a mitzvah for having children. We have it so much easier. We are exempt from many mitzvos and get Schar for doing them if we choose. What is bad about that? And speak for yourself about being less important.
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Simple1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 21 2017, 8:17 am
amother wrote:
I can’t understand how frum women are glad to be deprived of Torah and mitzvos. If you truly believe that Torah and mitzvos are the most important things in the world, then having LESS Torah and FEWER mitzvos makes one LESS important. (Having and educating children are among the mitzvos given to men - not to women!)


We might have fewer specific mitzvos, but we have the freedom to choose other mitzvos instead. If a women feels deprived, she can spend all her hours doing chesed, for example.
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amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Tue, Nov 21 2017, 8:48 am
mommy3b2c wrote:
We are not commanded to have children, but we get a mitzvah for having children. We have it so much easier. We are exempt from many mitzvos and get Schar for doing them if we choose. What is bad about that? And speak for yourself about being less important.


The schar (and by implication - value) is not the same, if not commanded.

And I’m not the one saying that women are less important - it’s the gemara and halacha. That’s why men are saved ahead of women (and the reason for shelo asani isha).
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farm




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 21 2017, 10:11 am
Sleeping late on vacation days = happy I am female.
Eschaya, I would LOVE to have your family for a Shabbos and get to know you. You rock!
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Simple1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 21 2017, 10:14 am
amother wrote:
The schar (and by implication - value) is not the same, if not commanded.

And I’m not the one saying that women are less important - it’s the gemara and halacha. That’s why men are saved ahead of women (and the reason for shelo asani isha).


I decided a long time ago that this goes into a category called "it's best not to overthink things". My life is far from perfect, but I feel there has never been a better time to be born a women.
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