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Forum
-> Parenting our children
which would you skip?
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| newborn |
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30% |
[ 23 ] |
| terrible two's |
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18% |
[ 14 ] |
| chutzpah 5's |
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9% |
[ 7 ] |
| jumping now, teens |
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20% |
[ 15 ] |
| other |
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21% |
[ 16 ] |
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| Total Votes : 75 |
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yo'ma
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 Wed, Nov 22 2017, 10:13 am
It's said that one of the punishments for eating from the eitz hadaas was that when a child was born, you had to take care of them, they're not all grown up. There are advantages and disadvantages to every stage of a childs (and adults) life, but if you can skip one as a parent to a child, which would it be? This is light!! Of course we learn and the child learns from each stage.
If you don't have older children, it's obviously is harder for you to choose.
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amother
Cerulean
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Wed, Nov 22 2017, 10:43 am
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Newborn. Actually, the first year or two even. I don't really like babies at all.
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unexpected
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Wed, Nov 22 2017, 11:28 am
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None. I really love every age and stage. Now I would love to skip the crying jags of my newborn, the messes of my toddler, the quiet shoulder-shrugging of my four year old when I'm trying to dress her, the fighting of the 6-10 year olds, the back talking of my preteens, the excuses of my teenagers- somehow nothing is ever their fault, but I guess it's a package deal and if I miss out on all the tough stuff how would I ever appreciate the endearing sweetness of their apologies and experience the pride in their tremendous growth?
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imasoftov
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Wed, Nov 22 2017, 11:47 am
| yo'ma wrote: | | It's said that one of the punishments for eating from the eitz hadaas was that when a child was born, you had to take care of them, they're not all grown up. |
Where did you hear that?
Rashi on Bereshit 3:16 says talks about the pain of child raising, but doesn't say that children were previously born full-grown. Similarly, Adam is cursed that he will plant one sort of seed but another plant will come up (Rashi on v. 18), while earlier he was placed in the garden to tend it. So the way I learned it is the curse is not having to work or raise children, it's that one may not get the results they worked for.
The same root, עצב, is also used about HKBH at the end of the parasha before deciding to destroy humanity, which also did not turn out as intended.
http://www.chabad.org/library/.....=true
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Iymnok
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Wed, Nov 22 2017, 11:54 am
Tzaar gidol banim has many possibilities.
I have heard it said that the pain of labor takes away from other pains, so avoid the epidural. And other similar things.
A man went to a gadol to complain about tzaar gidol banim, and was told , "That's regular gidol banim".
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amother
Scarlet
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Wed, Nov 22 2017, 12:00 pm
I have a friend who's beautiful child was born unable to breathe or eat on his own. He is getting full nursing care at a facility and hasnt come home. I have a baby close to that age and every time I am woken up at night or he is being particularly difficult, I just feel blessed. And then there are babies lost to SIDS or those desparate for a child for years.
Sorry.... but as much as babies can drain us (I completely agree), we definitley need to appreciate them.
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imasoftov
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Wed, Nov 22 2017, 12:02 pm
| Iymnok wrote: | | I have heard it said that the pain of labor takes away from other pains, so avoid the epidural. |
And I heard that a curse is not something we need to help along.
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octopus
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Wed, Nov 22 2017, 12:27 pm
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ehh...if you think an epidural takes away all labor pain, you are living in a dream world.
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amother
Goldenrod
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Wed, Nov 22 2017, 12:53 pm
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I would love to skip my anger. It's so hard to keep working on it. Just one day of really feeling calm inside, and not needing to control myself, and really enjoy my 3 under 4, without the struggle that comes along with learning to let go.
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top mom
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Wed, Nov 22 2017, 12:55 pm
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I wouldn't skip any part of raising kids, although I do LOVE the newborn, nursing, cuddling in bed stage, and I find it getting harder for me, as my kids grow up
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boysrus
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Wed, Nov 22 2017, 1:00 pm
none.
cherish each day.
challenges exist through every stage. but thats life. Life was never meant to be easy.
children are the biggest bracha.
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Shoshana37
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Wed, Nov 22 2017, 1:03 pm
I agree I would not skip any stages. I grew with each kid as well. I learned to appreciate each and every one of my kids and it’s truly a blessing.
Yes of course it’s hard but I’m blessed and thank gd every day for all my children.
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agreer
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Wed, Nov 22 2017, 1:14 pm
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I would skip the teenage stage, for sure. I"m actually not there yet, but I was such a rotten teen, I am scared for what my kids will do to me.
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flmommy
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Wed, Nov 22 2017, 1:32 pm
Different stages in different kids.
Oldest was crazy around 5. Diagnosed with ADD now BH he is doing great for many years and is a pleasureable teen to be around for the most part.
Middle child was an easy baby and difficult pre-teen so I guess that stage.
Youngest being a challenge NOW so again 5-8 range skiparoo. But yes like many said obviously will take the food with the bad!!
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amother
Red
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Wed, Nov 22 2017, 2:36 pm
Shidduchim!!! 
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BayMom
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Wed, Nov 22 2017, 2:40 pm
| amother wrote: | | Shidduchim!!! |
And toilet training!
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amother
Red
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Wed, Nov 22 2017, 2:42 pm
| BayMom wrote: | | And toilet training! |
Neh, thats kids play!
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nw11
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Wed, Nov 22 2017, 2:43 pm
| BayMom wrote: | | And toilet training! |
Absolutely!!!
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