Monsey preschools and young communities

amother

Taupe

Thu, Nov 16 2017, 10:02 pm

Looking into preschools in Monsey. Our hashkafa is we are neither litvish nor chassidish. We are sefardi with a strong Torah emphasis. We still want our kids to eventually be able to read English properly and do mathetics. Ambivalent about yiddish but open to it. I'm kind of put off my chassidish strict segregation of men and women (when they don't look at you) but chassidish and sefardi do share a value for Kabbalah and a certain richness that is hard for us to part with. We value middot above all else. We are against exposing our children to smartphones internet tv movies even kosher ones and also against non Jewish music.

Do we fit anywhere? Also from what age do they typically separate boys and girls I have both. How do we ensure our kids get into a school before we move there? I don't look or dress like a ffb should I put on a show? I wear colorful clothes (not flashy colors) and headscarves. Willing to change in order to fit in Bec I heard Monsey is very conformist but not sure in what sense diversity is frowned upon. I come from the most accepting city in the US where basically everyone fits in.

(Also any tips on what communities to look into for a young family would be extremely helpful!!!)

Thanks!!

naturalmom5

Thu, Nov 16 2017, 11:08 pm

I don't mean this in a nasty way, but if your current city is so accepting, why on earth would you want to move to Monsey..

Seems like you have it pretty good now.. If its for a job in the Monsey area, Pasaic is a SOOOO much better fit..

little neshamala

Fri, Nov 17 2017, 12:28 am

Um...im sorry but what?

Saying monsey is conformist is like saying america is conformist. Its huge, and simply too big too classify as a certain type. Its very very diverse, with plenty of different types of communities. Theres something for everyone.

I live in monsey and I love it. Welcome! It really is like a very big world, please dont change anything about yourself-just find the community that suits you best.

little neshamala

Fri, Nov 17 2017, 12:30 am

naturalmom5 wrote:

I don't mean this in a nasty way, but if your current city is so accepting, why on earth would you want to move to Monsey..

I dont understand why you would say something like this.

amother

Royalblue

Tue, Nov 21 2017, 5:16 pm

On the litvish side of the aisle, you have Degel Hatora & Cheder Dmonsey. On the chasidish side, you have Imrei Shefer. You pointed out a list of things you would like, probably you would not get everything in one place.

thunderstorm

Tue, Nov 21 2017, 6:21 pm

OP I think your boys may be a good fit for Degel Hatorah. There are many sefardim there. My son is in the highschool. He is the only boy from a Chasidish background there and has lots of sefardi boys in his class. Lots of mothers wear tichels. They all get along very nicely. The rest of that parent body are working litvish not yeshivish.
I don't think what you describe is a good fit for imrei shefer, they expect their boys to have curly peyos.
Bais Dovid is more yeshivish, heimish and have a school rule of mothers only wearing sheitel to the school.
As far as girls I don't have any but Yeshiva Spring Valley and Bais Yakov Chofetz Chaim come to mind when thinking of your type.

thunderstorm

Tue, Nov 21 2017, 6:29 pm

naturalmom5 wrote:

I agree that Monsey is NOT a very accepting place and I come from Brooklyn!!! I live here almost 20 years and still didn't find my place or that feeling of acceptance. And I'm not the only one who feels this way.

amother

Fuchsia

Tue, Nov 21 2017, 8:28 pm

We moved to Monsey a nice while back & my neighbors made it clear to me that the people that are moving out are causing the major traffic & the rising prices of real estate. One still makes sure to constantly remind me of that...
My DH grew up in Monsey & hated city life. My in laws are also going on & on that all city people should go back where they came from.
So no, Monsey isn't all warm & welcoming.

amother

Royalblue

Wed, Nov 22 2017, 1:03 am

amother wrote:

Bais Dovid and Bais Rochel have a mix of chassidish and Litvish. They may be hard to get into.

If a strong English department is a factor, than Bais Dovid is not really an option

amother

Royalblue

Wed, Nov 22 2017, 1:33 pm

amother wrote:

If you value good middot above all, I'm afraid you won't find that much emphasis is put on that in any of the Chassidish or yeshivish schools in Monsey.

I'm very happy that I have a totally different experience, my sons cheder instills in my boys great midos. I'm overjoyed with my sons cheder, yes it is in monsey & chassidish.

amother

Lemon

Wed, Nov 22 2017, 2:53 pm

amother wrote:

I'm very happy that I have a totally different experience, my sons cheder instills in my boys great midos. I'm overjoyed with my sons cheder, yes it is in monsey & chassidish.

Can you share which one?

amother

Bronze

Wed, Nov 22 2017, 3:02 pm

Bizzydizzymommy wrote:

Two of my Chassidish cousins send to Degel HaTorah. One has a high school age boy, and I think he isn't the only one is his class (they wear peyos behind the ears).

amother

Yellow

Fri, Nov 24 2017, 4:21 pm

Degel Hatorah and bais Yakov Chofetz chaim have a huge emphasis on midos. The fact that you dress differently might mean people will judge you and classify you before you even open your mouth. Not good or bad, a fact. So I would say it’s tricky because the message you convey through your appearance is that your different. Very Happy

imasoftov

Sat, Nov 25 2017, 10:50 am

amother wrote:

Are you saying that while the first two schools emphasize midos, there are others that don't, and there people judge those who dress differently, or that those two schools emphasize certain midos but being acceptive of others is not numbered among them?

amother

Yellow

Sat, Nov 25 2017, 9:58 pm

imasoftov wrote:

I’m saying that the first two emphasize midos more than the other schools - so comparatively speaking. How accepted one will be depends on the person. Everyone is different, some more judgmental and some less.