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Forum
-> Parenting our children
which would you skip?
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| newborn |
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30% |
[ 23 ] |
| terrible two's |
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18% |
[ 14 ] |
| chutzpah 5's |
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9% |
[ 7 ] |
| jumping now, teens |
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20% |
[ 15 ] |
| other |
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21% |
[ 16 ] |
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| Total Votes : 75 |
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Iymnok
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 Wed, Nov 22 2017, 2:51 pm
| BayMom wrote: | | And toilet training! |
Nah, Bedwetting!
(I have two on meds for it, it works for one.)
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Chayalle
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Wed, Nov 22 2017, 3:42 pm
| MiracleMama wrote: | | I wouldn't skip a thing. |
Me neither.
When my child challenges me (which is not infrequent) I remember the times I begged Hashem for her. I'm grateful to Him for giving me another chance to deal with: keeping me up all night, terrible twos, tantrum-full threes, etc...all the way up to 9 1/2 year old my-teacher-hates-me fourth-grade-woes....
I'm glad I get the chance to flex my parenting skills, and I find there's so much truth to love coming from giving.
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Raisin
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Wed, Nov 22 2017, 4:52 pm
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I love the newborn stage. I love 4 or so and up. Toddler years have a lot of cuteness with all the mischief. Teens are ok. I would just love someone to take each kid for a couple of days and toilet train them PERFECTLY. No night accidents, no missing the toilet bowl.
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eschaya
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Wed, Nov 22 2017, 5:25 pm
I find the newborn stage mind-numbing, boring and overwhelming. I'm sure having difficult, colicky babies who barely sleep has contributed to this personal opinion...
To give you an idea of how difficult my babies are; so dc1 was born when we were in Israel, and it was a few months till MIL was able to come and visit. When she finally got to meet her granddaugher she apologized to me for being choshed biksherim. She told me that when she had heard us complain about how difficult our baby was (ie screaming all the time, barely sleeping, never relaxed) she - a seasoned mother of 10 - assumed that it was my incompetance as a mother (I'm from a much smaller family, didn't really take care of babies much as a teen) and she was sure that as soon as she arrived she'd calm and quiet this darling granddaughter of hers and teach me how to care for a baby. And then she met my child. And was stumped. She had never met a baby who slept so little and was more often than not inconsolable.
So yah, I hate the baby stage. For me, it's all sleep-deprivation, endless crying, and holding the baby all day. And all this while still recovering from childbirth.
Can't say that I haven't struggled at all with many of the other stages, and we are only in the beginning of the teenage phase, but fingers crossed...
My mother always said that Hashem gives each person a certain measure of tzaar gidul banim, and since it appears that difficult babies run in my family, my mother always felt that she had an easier time than most with her children during childhood and adolescence. I'm hoping she's right!
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ssss1
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Wed, Nov 22 2017, 6:58 pm
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Newborn, my son now is terribly colicky and all hours of the day revolve around his screeching!
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creditcards
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Wed, Nov 22 2017, 7:13 pm
I love newborns. The age when they are a little older than newborn and I can't talk to them yet and tell them, get into pajamas, go into bed...is the hardest for me.
So that is probably terrible 2.
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rowo
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Wed, Nov 22 2017, 7:40 pm
I know this is a light hearted thread, but it really got me thinking.
Like most of you I'm dealing with a few stages and ages now.
They all have their challenges and frustrations, but to say I would rather skip it? I don't know...
They each have their beauty as well. So thanks for making me think about it and appreciate!
Like someone else mentioned, pregnancy is super hard. I love newborns, but I don't if I can do pregnancy again.
But then, maybe part of what I love about the newborn stage is how hard I worked to get there, and especially with my last few I tried really hard to be present and enjoy it (despite the brain fog, feeding issues, family adjusting and fatigue ..)
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animeme
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Wed, Nov 22 2017, 7:48 pm
Fourth grade. Seriously.
The whole social structure changes. Schoolwork takes a jump. The kids aren't old enough yet to get themselves from place to place or stay home alone, but desperately want to do both. They still need a reasonable bedtime but can't fathom why.
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keym
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Wed, Nov 22 2017, 8:14 pm
And I say 6th grade. That whole becoming an independent person yet being such a baby. The pre-menstrual hormones. The academic expectations that come along with middle school.
But yet you see their personhood emerging. Glimpses of who they will be and that could be such a joy.
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Mommyg8
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Wed, Nov 22 2017, 10:12 pm
| tichellady wrote: | | Pregnancy |
Agree! I used to say that I could have any number of kids, as long as I could skip the pregnancies!
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Simple1
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Wed, Nov 22 2017, 10:20 pm
| Mommyg8 wrote: | | Agree! I used to say that I could have any number of kids, as long as I could skip the pregnancies! |
Pregnancy I could handle - but the labors - Ouch!
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wife2
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Thu, Nov 23 2017, 12:04 am
It's interesting that so many people want to skip that newborn stage. I hated the sleep deprivation but loved the cuddling and closeness of snuggling with a newborn and the tiny cuteness of everything little.
I would love to skip the terrible twos as it's frustrating when they can't talk or do anything on their own but they're still difficult behaviorally. Once they can talk and do things more independently, it gets easier.
So much is also based on people's personalities. Some people don't like dealing with teenagers and all their emotions, and others enjoy having an independent teenager that they can have a real higher level relationship with. Some people don't like little kids because of all the physical involved, and others like little kids because they are loving and more or less respectful without all the attitude that teenagers have. I personally don't mind dealing with emotions or attitudes of older kids as much as the physical neediness of little kids - holding and carrying kids, running around all day after them is so draining.
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Chayalle
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Thu, Nov 23 2017, 10:00 am
| animeme wrote: | Fourth grade. Seriously.
The whole social structure changes. Schoolwork takes a jump. The kids aren't old enough yet to get themselves from place to place or stay home alone, but desperately want to do both. They still need a reasonable bedtime but can't fathom why. |
Thank you for posting this. I'm finding this to be true. Every word.
signed,
Another fourth grade Mom (whose daughter told her at bedtime that she needs to study for a test, after having been asked three times if she has any h.w., earlier. Her response is that it's not h.w. - it's just a test. And that 9 p.m. is still early!)
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Raisin
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Thu, Nov 23 2017, 10:40 am
| Chayalle wrote: | Thank you for posting this. I'm finding this to be true. Every word.
signed,
Another fourth grade Mom (whose daughter told her at bedtime that she needs to study for a test, after having been asked three times if she has any h.w., earlier. Her response is that it's not h.w. - it's just a test. And that 9 p.m. is still early!) |
I dunno, I find this age such a joy. Also a mother of a 4th grader. Maybe her school is less pressure. No tests yet. Her 2nd grade teacher actually gave tests but only occasionally.
I'm dreading her entering the hormonal teenage/pre teen years.
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Ruchel
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Thu, Nov 23 2017, 1:08 pm
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URGH; some of those barely exist. I'd skip... LABELS.
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