Is it wrong not to offer her the job?

amother

Lime

Thu, Nov 30 2017, 10:33 am

I'm working for a company and the workload is currently far too much for me.
They are going to get someone else to assist me and asked me if I know anyone for the job.
My sister in law is desperate for a job, but I think it will be too pressurizing for me to have her as the one underneath me. Is it wrong not to offer it to her (she won't know about it otherwise)?

DrMom

Thu, Nov 30 2017, 10:35 am

Not sure what the policies are in your company, but some companies have polices against nepotism. Are you able to offer your SIL the job if you wanted to?

amother

Cyan

Thu, Nov 30 2017, 10:35 am

I can understand why you wouldn't and wouldn't blame you for not offering her this particular job. But if you're not going to do it, I think it would be nice to make it up to her by making a serious effort to help her (put her in touch with people you know who might be able to help, if you hear of something elsewhere let her know about it, etc).

amother

Goldenrod

Thu, Nov 30 2017, 10:38 am

This is my opinion. If she'd be an assistant to you & you don't feel it would work out well for you and wouldn't really end up "assisting" you, I would not mention it, whereas if it were a separate job in the company, I'd think you should suggest it. Besides for how it would work out at work, if it would strain your relationship with her in terms of family in any way, I'd also not mention it. Sometimes family and business don't mix well. To help her, can daven for her and/or ask other friends if they know of any openings in her line.

amother

Lime

Thu, Nov 30 2017, 11:10 am

DrMom wrote:

Not sure what the policies are in your company, but some companies have polices against nepotism. Are you able to offer your SIL the job if you wanted to?

No policies regarding this. It's a bit of a mismanaged company in general so it would fall on me train her in and everything and I would be telling her exactly what needs to be done. She's also having a baby in a few months which will make it harder for me because then I'll have to train in someone new Pesach time, just when I need them even more.

lavenderchimes

Thu, Nov 30 2017, 11:13 am

amother wrote:

Then it does not make any sense to offer her the job. She will not be able to really help you, since she is leaving so soon. So, the only reason you are considering her is because you feel obligated. It's just not a good fit.

devash1

Thu, Nov 30 2017, 12:21 pm

My husband has tried hiring friends and family a number of times and it never works out. He always regretted it. And the relationship never goes back to being what it was before.

cityofgold

Thu, Nov 30 2017, 2:23 pm

I freelance, and I don't even want to do one-off jobs for family and friends. It just makes things difficult.

But I understand that it feels really guilty.

MiracleMama

Thu, Nov 30 2017, 3:08 pm

And what will be if it's not working out and you have to fire your SIL? Be smart. Say nothing. Find the best person for the job. Period.

amother

Lime

Thu, Nov 30 2017, 3:11 pm

I forgot to mention that the work is all done remotely from home - would that change any of your views on it?

mha3484

Thu, Nov 30 2017, 3:21 pm

Are you sure your SIL wants the job? If it was offered to me I would probably say no....

amother

Lime

Thu, Nov 30 2017, 3:33 pm

mha3484 wrote:

Are you sure your SIL wants the job? If it was offered to me I would probably say no....

She likely would though I can't check that with her since I'm not going to tell her if it's available unless I've decided to offer it...

Amarante

Thu, Nov 30 2017, 3:50 pm

That the idea of having her as an underling makes you uncomfortable is a huge danger sign that you should NOT proceed.

It is very difficult to have relatives and close friend report to you unless you really have an exceptional relationship and/or are grooming them for a higher position.

Since you are working, perhaps you could ask people with whom you deal in other companies about possible open positions for her.

But I think it would be a serious mistake to hire her.