5 yr old doesnt listen

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers

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amother

Mustard

Wed, Nov 29 2017, 10:04 am

My 5 year old doesnt listen I can call his name many times before he will answer me. If I tell him to do something he will ignore me and finally when I get upset thats when he will say ok what do you want. any advice please

crust

Wed, Nov 29 2017, 10:59 am

I can only advise what works with my own kids.
You can try to stop giving commands. Don't call him.
Instead of saying (and then screaming) "Ari come to the table! (Or bathe or wear your coat.) Ari! Ari!" (Which doesn't help).
You go over to him and you say "we are going to eat/get dressed/sleep/bathe/out now. Come to the table/bathroom/car/bedroom with me."
You take his sweet little hand and together you do it. No negative talking (you don't come when I call you so I must take you by your hand etc.) necessary.

amother

Bronze

Wed, Nov 29 2017, 11:33 am

A 5-yr old is too young to be called from another room. Developmentally, a 5-yr old is focused on what is in front of him. Try going to him and speaking on his level.
When he calls you do you respond to him immediately?

amother

Powderblue

Wed, Nov 29 2017, 2:39 pm

Yeah, I have to go over and basically get right up close to dd's face (she's almost 5). I often remind her to use her eyes and ears while listening as well when I'm right up near her face.

Zehava

Wed, Nov 29 2017, 2:41 pm

Have you posted about this child before?

Tirza

Wed, Nov 29 2017, 6:22 pm

Please ask your pediatrician to rule out a hearing loss.

amother

Natural

Wed, Nov 29 2017, 7:29 pm

I have a similar problem with my 5 yr old--people are probably thinking of my previous posts. I'm still having issues with my son but I'm picking up on more patterns and he's getting professional help, but I digress.

1) Can you make sure that he goes to the bathroom? Often that "need to go" makes my son much more impulsive and less compliant.
2)I don't know WHY this works, but I have a different child who often "hyperfocuses" and yes we've had BOTH children hearing checked, its not a "hearing issue" but I find that if I cup my hand over my mouth it changes the frequency and they respond better.
3) In my son's case there's anxiety/perfectionism/fear-of-failure/fear of missing out going on and that prevents him from complying. Does any of this sound applicable?

amother

Mustard

Fri, Dec 01 2017, 7:39 am

op here thank you for all your responses he is a very sweet boy but gets very distracted with what he is doing and tunes everything out. he also has to finish what he is doing. I will try all your ideas hopefully something will work

cbg

Fri, Dec 01 2017, 1:42 pm

Catch him when he does listen the first time
And praise, praise praise, really make a huge deal about it

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