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What is up with friends calling all hours of the night??
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benny









  


Post  Tue, Dec 05 2017, 9:45 pm
I taught my kids that we don’t call ppl after 11. My phone rings till really late, and dd claims I’m old fashioned and everyone calls past 11.

Motzei Shabbos a girl called at 1:30 am!! Woke me up, the girl wasn’t even embarrassed and asked for my daughter. I said she’s sleeping it’s 1:30 in the morn. My daughter was mortified when I told her.
Is this normal?? Am I old fashioned?
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happyone









  


Post  Tue, Dec 05 2017, 9:47 pm
Welcome to my world!!!
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Zehava









  


Post  Tue, Dec 05 2017, 9:48 pm
Get your daughter a cell or another line that doesn’t wake the entire house when it rings and her friends should only have that number. It’s normal for teens to call each other til late but no reason it should affect the whole family.
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animeme









  


Post  Tue, Dec 05 2017, 9:55 pm
The friends calling likely would never call a house phone that late, but assume the number they have is your dd's cell, or forget that it's not since most often it is. And lots of people turn their cells off (or silence them) when they go to sleep, so it doesn't matter what time people call.
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HeartyAppetite









  


Post  Tue, Dec 05 2017, 10:48 pm
If my friends would call after 10:00 my mother would pick up and say your calling So late at night? They knew not to call after 10:00!
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InnerMe









  


Post  Tue, Dec 05 2017, 10:51 pm
My mom's pet gripe always.
She'd say that back in the day there was no such thing. It wasn't mentchlich to call anyone past 10:30. We had a houseful of teen girls who were simply baffled. After 10:30 is prime talking time, no? Like anytime earlier then that is "early." So ye, I see where you're coming from. Looking back, I appreciate that she enforced certain rules- no calls after 11.
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amother




Lawngreen


Post  Tue, Dec 05 2017, 11:37 pm
When I was in high school my father ran a business out of our basement. He had a dedicated business line that I was allowed to use in the evening so I didn't tie up the main house line. It was great for me to call my friends and for them to call me until late without disturbing the rest of my family. I knew which friends I could call past a certain time and which ones I couldn't. Thankfully one of my good friends had her own line so I could call her really late if I felt like it.

Now that I think back I don't understand the urgency of the late night phone calls when I had just spent all day with my friends and I would see them again the next day. At the time it was very important to me though. Teenagers.
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amother




Wine


Post  Tue, Dec 05 2017, 11:39 pm
amother wrote:
When I was in high school my father ran a business out of our basement. He had a dedicated business line that I was allowed to use in the evening so I didn't tie up the main house line. It was great for me to call my friends and for them to call me until late without disturbing the rest of my family. I knew which friends I could call past a certain time and which ones I couldn't. Thankfully one of my good friends had her own line so I could call her really late if I felt like it.

Now that I think back I don't understand the urgency of the late night phone calls when I had just spent all day with my friends and I would see them again the next day. At the time it was very important to me though. Teenagers.


I also look back and my tween and teen years and wonder what on earth was I talking about.
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LovesHashem









  


Post  Wed, Dec 06 2017, 3:00 am
One of my friends did not have a cell yet, and so we fogured out a way for her home phone to go on a silent mode past midnight. Her parents had no idea we did this as they were very against talking late at night. I've videochatted friends at 3am that I was going to see the next day...

She needs a cell.
Most girls feel safe calling cells at any hour at that age.
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Bnei Berak 10









  


Post  Wed, Dec 06 2017, 4:41 am
benny wrote:
I taught my kids that we don’t call ppl after 11. My phone rings till really late, and dd claims I’m old fashioned and everyone calls past 11.

Motzei Shabbos a girl called at 1:30 am!! Woke me up, the girl wasn’t even embarrassed and asked for my daughter. I said she’s sleeping it’s 1:30 in the morn. My daughter was mortified when I told her.
Is this normal?? Am I old fashioned?


You are 100% normal. Just as an office has it's opening hours a private home should definitely has it's hours too. Your daugter's friend should definitely be told that after a certain hour phone calls are not acceptable.
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simcha2









  


Post  Wed, Dec 06 2017, 5:33 am
Dd has a cell phone and it's not allowed in her room at night. Calling past a certain time is rude (we consider 10pm that time). There is halacha about waking people.

But I don't want dd on the phone at 1.30am because, you know, school, sleep etc, even if the rest of the house isn't being awakened. I'm surprised how many imamothers are ok with their daughters up until 3am. Maybe you're talking post high school and not young teen.
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Ruchel









  


Post  Wed, Dec 06 2017, 6:39 am
Abnormal. Don't let people tell you it's normal.
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benny









  


Post  Wed, Dec 06 2017, 7:14 am
My daughter is a young teen-9th grade. No she does not have a cell yet! (And I’d like to push that off as much as possible - it has its drawbacks) and I don’t want her on the phone late at night either as how will she get up in the morning and function? She’s not mature enough to go to sleep at a normal hour so she can function normally the next day.
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salt









  


Post  Wed, Dec 06 2017, 7:23 am
Unplug the phone when you go to sleep.
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Culturedpearls









  


Post  Wed, Dec 06 2017, 9:26 am
Our rule is 10pm. My dd has told friends not to call after that time.
I would not allow a cell for her to talk & stay up late. Not that she wants one...
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amother




Honeydew


Post  Wed, Dec 06 2017, 10:02 am
In my day (15 years ago) teenage girls had their own lines so they could call each other without disturbing the rest of the family.
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imasoftov









  


Post  Wed, Dec 06 2017, 11:21 am
Kids still make voice calls to one another?
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amother




Peach


Post  Wed, Dec 06 2017, 3:33 pm
when I was a teenager 15 yrs ago my parents got me my own phone line to use at night. I never did talk till 3 am but definitely till 1. lighten up-these are teenagers, give them their space. friends are the most important people to them at this time in their life.
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LovesHashem









  


Post  Wed, Dec 06 2017, 3:49 pm
simcha2 wrote:
Dd has a cell phone and it's not allowed in her room at night. Calling past a certain time is rude (we consider 10pm that time). There is halacha about waking people.

But I don't want dd on the phone at 1.30am because, you know, school, sleep etc, even if the rest of the house isn't being awakened. I'm surprised how many imamothers are ok with their daughters up until 3am. Maybe you're talking post high school and not young teen.


1. Here most girls have kosher phones so having a phone isn't negetive. Many families don't use landlines anymore.

2. My parents never gave us bedtimes past 6th grade, and never woke us up. They pretty much gave the responsibility to us. We had to be in school, and wake ourselves up, and it really helped us learn and listen to our body ourselves, and when we need sleep and how much. Kids with bedtimes, or whom are forced out of bed in the morning by a parent often don't know how to listen to their inner voice.
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salt









  


Post  Thu, Dec 07 2017, 1:59 am
imasoftov wrote:
Kids still make voice calls to one another?


Sure, kids who don't have smart phones! That's one of the disadvantages or negative effects of a smart phone - nobody talks anymore.
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