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Selective Mutsim



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amother
Papaya


 

Post Mon, Dec 11 2017, 11:42 pm
Are there any moms out there that had/have kids with selective mutism?

My 5 year old son is diagnosed with it. He's very talkative at home and seems normal at home, but at school he doesn't speak to anyone. This is the 3rd year that he hasn't been speaking at school (he started from nursery now he's at kindergarten). So he gets speech therapy, counseling at school and out of school he has sessions with the social worker from his pediatrics office. The social worker is thinking of recommending a therapist for him as well.

So from what I've read, it seems like selective mutism is treatable with behavioral therapy and sometimes also with anxiety drugs. When the pediatrician first mentioned drugs, I got scared and thought to myself that I NEVER want to give my young child anxiety drugs. But after reading a little bit about it online, it doesn't seem as scary. I was just wondering if anyone over here has had any experience with this?? If so, how long did it take until your child started talking at school?

My husband and I used to think that he'll just outgrow it and it's just a phase, but it's really not..it's an anxiety and I really want to help him. I also feel like I need to find a good therapist (preferably someone who has experience with selective mutism) if you know of anyone good that takes insurance in NYC (Queens) area.
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amother
Coral


 

Post Tue, Dec 12 2017, 12:27 am
Shaindel Cohen from Lakewood moved to EY but she does skype. She is a real expert.
Are your social workers/speech therapists experts in selective mutism?
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Tue, Dec 12 2017, 3:47 am
Another vote for Shaindel Cohen, my friend is taking a course under her for her 3 selective mute kids. She has 5 other kids who all outgrew it once they hit 1st grade.
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amother
Tangerine


 

Post Tue, Dec 12 2017, 9:01 am
This response might not be so helpful to you, but might be for others reading this.

A selective mute kid can benefit a lot from having a SEIT provider with them in school, since the mutism is present in that environment.
Your son is 5 already so he cannot be approved to receive services at this time anymore, but someone experienced in doing this can surely be helpful.
As a SEIT provider myself, I have helped plenty selective mute kids talk in school - first by pulling them out of class and building a safe, comfortable relationship with them, and then bringing that safety into the classroom and building on it.
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amother
Ginger


 

Post Tue, Dec 12 2017, 9:05 am
Maybe I'm out of line for saying this, but I would not put a five year old child on medication. Selective mutism is uncomfortable, but not life threatening, but medication can have serious health repercussions. I would think twice, three times, four times before putting a child on medication.

And I third Shaindel Cohen. I didn't know she moved to Israel, but if there's a way to get hold of her, she's gold.
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amother
Tan


 

Post Tue, Dec 12 2017, 9:30 am
As a SEIT therapist and a parent of SM son, having worked with many levels of selective mutism I’d like to say treat early. Don’t wait on the hopes of your child will outgrow SM. The initial anxiety becomes habit forming.
Dr. Elisa Shipon Blum is the leading expert in the field. Read whatever you can get your hands on from her.
Even if your child is over 5 and can’t get Seit, he can get P3 through DOE and there’s always advanced rates to help find someone qualified. Talk to your school. Private pay, you can ask your school if there is a therapist in school who can work with him. He would do best with a person to help him feel safe in school, overcome his overwhelming feelings there and integerate with peers and staff.
Invite peers from school to home. You’ll need to be there as a support for him. If he builds relationships out of school he can bring it back to school with him.
My opinion is not to bring attention to the SM with the child as it adds an attention/ power struggle dimension to the issue.

Know he will overcome. My son was SM at Pre-nursery. Had a SEIT starting nursery and by Chanukah he was talking. Very quietly but it was a start. He happens to be to the quiet side, yet 5 Years later you wouldn’t know.
My toughest client, was left back, had 3 years of SM in the school setting, he screams across the lunchroom now. With support starting September and his mom coming to school, he started talking Pesach time.
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Simplemom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 12 2017, 9:32 am
I have a few kids who outgrew selective mutism once they reached first grade. I have 2 kids who still dont talk in school, theyre 4 and 6 years old. They are starting to talk a little more. I agree with the SEIT recommendation. My kids SEITs have helped a lot! I never heard of giving medication for it. Hatzlacha Rabba!
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Tue, Dec 12 2017, 2:42 pm
Simplemom wrote:
I have a few kids who outgrew selective mutism once they reached first grade. I have 2 kids who still dont talk in school, theyre 4 and 6 years old. They are starting to talk a little more. I agree with the SEIT recommendation. My kids SEITs have helped a lot! I never heard of giving medication for it. Hatzlacha Rabba!


OP here

Apparently medication is something they give as part of the treatment, but that's probably when therapy doesn't seem to be working. My pediatrician recommended it and of course I'm not running straight for the meds... in fact, I hope to never give him any of that. But it's not something new, medication is listed all over, I found the selective mutism association website helpful and they do talk about medication as well:https://www.selectivemutism.org/

So I haven't heard about SEIT before and I'm assuming he's already too big for it (he's 5). He does get services from BOE... he gets speech therapy, counseling and Title 1 during school time. He goes into small groups and sometimes individually but I'm not seeing improvement and this is his third year of not talking (started not talking in nursery). So now I'm trying to find a good behavioral therapist that could work with him not during school time.
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Tue, Dec 12 2017, 3:04 pm
I heard that there is an excellent treatment program at NYU
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amother
Tangerine


 

Post Tue, Dec 12 2017, 3:23 pm
amother wrote:
OP here

Apparently medication is something they give as part of the treatment, but that's probably when therapy doesn't seem to be working. My pediatrician recommended it and of course I'm not running straight for the meds... in fact, I hope to never give him any of that. But it's not something new, medication is listed all over, I found the selective mutism association website helpful and they do talk about medication as well:https://www.selectivemutism.org/

So I haven't heard about SEIT before and I'm assuming he's already too big for it (he's 5). He does get services from BOE... he gets speech therapy, counseling and Title 1 during school time. He goes into small groups and sometimes individually but I'm not seeing improvement and this is his third year of not talking (started not talking in nursery). So now I'm trying to find a good behavioral therapist that could work with him not during school time.


I hear what ur saying and it really seems like you've given this much thought and doing the best that you are able to.

Just wanted to comment on the fact of finding a therapist out of school. For an older kid, I can see why that would be the best option, but for a child this young, having someone in the setting he is struggling in will most likely be the best option.

The help he had till now might not have been successful because those therapists we're not specifically experienced in SM, but with the experience I have with SM children the most effective way is to work with than in school both in and out of the classroom.

Or else if your behavior therapist can guide the therapist at school step by step.
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amother
Gold


 

Post Tue, Dec 12 2017, 3:44 pm
My child had selective mutism and I researched it a lot. Basically it’s a freeze response, like a deer in the headlights reaction to being prompted or expected to speak in public.

What helped my daughter tremendously was Seit! She had a Seit Morah who spent time with her until she felt very familiar. Then the Seit would take two girls to the side and play a game with my daughter.

This bridged the gap. By the end of kindergarten if got significantly better and now in first grade she’s totally verbal and blends beautifully into the class.

I also came to school with my daughter for the first few days of nursery to help bridge that gap. It’s all about widening the child’s comfort zone. Bringing the familiar into the new.
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