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Forum
-> Parenting our children
amother
Amber
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Tue, Dec 12 2017, 10:18 am
Squishy wrote: | This thread was alien to me also. Who cares where the money goes? |
Say parent spends $200 per child for Chanukah gifts. 5 children.
One child should get the gift and cash?
My parents treat us all equally when it comes to matters like gifts, and generously when it comes to ‘helping out’ with specifics - each according to need.
So that’s their philosophy. It’s not the only one.
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ra_mom
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Tue, Dec 12 2017, 10:22 am
amother wrote: | It funny, because I get the exact feeling (business transaction, not gift) from the idea of refunding money to the gifter. You're keeping records and track of who gave you what, and want to ensure that if you receive any additional benefits, they belong to the giver. While I figure it was a gift, they wanted me to have it, its mine now. |
If you were gifted and the item broke, and you contacted customer service and they gave you money back, what does this have to do with the gifter?
If your gift broke and you gave it back to the gifter who called customer service on your behalf, they got it fixed and returned to you, what does an additional refund have to do with the giftee?
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observer
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Tue, Dec 12 2017, 11:07 am
Amarante wrote: | I don’t understand the issue. Of course the recipient who paid for the present and followed up keeps the money.
Why is this different than if she had bought something at a real bargain. Does she then have to pay the difference between list price?
I am genuinely confused by these questions regarding gifts between family. If my parents gave me something. Why would I even think my parents owed me money for a gift they had gotten s8me kind of discount on.
If I had given them the money to buy me something because I was too busy to shlep for some reason, then it would be a different story. But for a gift, all the recipient deserves is the object. And deserve isn’t really the right word but I couldn’t think of a better one. But if my parents give me a present and it breaks, do they have to buy me another one or refund me or pay me. The whole logic is befuddling to me. 🤔 |
Your post is very confusing. The recipient means the one who received it. The recipient did not pay for the present and follow up, the giver did.
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33055
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Tue, Dec 12 2017, 11:23 am
amother wrote: | Say parent spends $200 per child for Chanukah gifts. 5 children.
One child should get the gift and cash?
My parents treat us all equally when it comes to matters like gifts, and generously when it comes to ‘helping out’ with specifics - each according to need.
So that’s their philosophy. It’s not the only one. |
I never would do equal presents. I am so not into forced presents nor family chesbons. BH because my children are not materialistic nor jealous. They never come to me to get something because the other one did.
What does someone else's present have to do with a different child's needs or wants?
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amother
Amber
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Tue, Dec 12 2017, 11:49 am
Squishy wrote: | I never would do equal presents. I am so not into forced presents nor family chesbons. BH because my children are not materialistic nor jealous. They never come to me to get something because the other one did.
What does someone else's present have to do with a different child's needs or wants? |
So your family is different than mine (and thanks for the jab - none of us are materialistic in the slightest ).
My point of posting was to say that there isn’t a pool of money in my family that is so fluid that $120 refund on a gift would go to ‘who cares’.
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33055
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Tue, Dec 12 2017, 12:00 pm
amother wrote: | So your family is different than mine (and thanks for the jab - none of us are materialistic in the slightest ).
My point of posting was to say that there isn’t a pool of money in my family that is so fluid that $120 refund on a gift would go to ‘who cares’. |
I don't know you, so how could I jab you about being materialistic?
My family is fluid, and I am glad because it prevents jealousy and chesbons.
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amother
Amber
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Tue, Dec 12 2017, 12:09 pm
Squishy wrote: | I don't know you, so how could I jab you about being materialistic?
My family is fluid, and I am glad because it prevents jealousy and chesbons. |
I’m not sure why you inserted the comment about your children and materialism other than to suggest my family’s system created that. And now in your response you did it again.
If that wasn’t your intent - I apologize.
(Note that you are comparing your family with I think minor children, to my description of money between parents and their grown out of the house children).
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33055
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Tue, Dec 12 2017, 12:24 pm
amother wrote: | I’m not sure why you inserted the comment about your children and materialism other than to suggest my family’s system created that.
If that wasn’t your intent - I apologize.
(Note that you are comparing your family with I think minor children, to my description of money between parents and their grown out of the house children). |
I had the same system with my parents. It works out great so long as no one is jealous which is why the money doesn't make a bit of difference because no one cared.
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kjb
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Tue, Dec 12 2017, 3:26 pm
Um... split the money? It's compensation from the company for the inconvenience of the break down - the shlepping around for the repair and the time without the working item. You did the shlepping, your kid lost the benefit of his item for however long. So half and half..- who could argue with that?
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amother
Amber
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Tue, Dec 12 2017, 3:56 pm
kjb wrote: | Um... split the money? It's compensation from the company for the inconvenience of the break down - the shlepping around for the repair and the time without the working item. You did the shlepping, your kid lost the benefit of his item for however long. So half and half..- who could argue with that? |
In this instance- child didn’t know it broke.
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ttbtbm
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Tue, Dec 12 2017, 4:14 pm
As others have said, if parent had the item repaired and was given money back I would think the parent keeps the money.
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browser
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Tue, Dec 12 2017, 8:07 pm
I agree with the others who said the parents keep the money because your intention was not to give the child a certain amount of money, it was to give them the item.
I think it's different than if someone bought you a gift for which you received a refund because they are "out" the money, whereas the child did not spend any money and I don't think you owe it to them. Unless this was an agreed upon cheshbon that you would spend a certain amount of money on them.
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suremom
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Tue, Dec 12 2017, 8:40 pm
whoever would normally pay for the repair (if that would be needed) should get the refund. if you wouldve paid to repair it, there is no reason why yourchild should get the money.
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Bnei Berak 10
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Tue, Dec 12 2017, 11:50 pm
OP, this is simple logics. The person who paid is he person who gets the refund. It has nothing to do with the price.
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